Finding my Perfect
by Jerkasaurousrex
Summary: To save her best friend from what was a hopeless situation, May shoved her into a completely different dimension. Emilie somehow ends up in Naruto, with hardly any memories, and no way back to her world. But, maybe, she was meant to be here all along? (I suck at summaries. Just read the first chapter and review, pretty please? And continue reading if you like it, of course)
1. Chapter 1 My savior?

**Okay, okay, okay! I know my OC's name is Lie, but it's just the girly spelling of L-E-E, becuase her name is EmiLIE. It makes sense. Kind of. Anyway, this so my first fanfic, feel free to flame! I love constructive critism, but I won't necessarily use it. THANKS! Oh, and I'm thinking I can do one shots if you have a request! **

**?Jerkasaurousrex **

* * *

"May!" I screamed, clutching my hair. I yanked the the hot pink mess, flailing about until my head connected with something hard. I realized this should've hurt, but there was enough pain that it overshadowed that from hitting whatever it was. My head pounded to the beat of my heart, while I clawed at my hair, wondering where May was.

She always took care of me when my head hurt like this.

I curled I to the fetal position, laying my face against the thing I had hit it on earlier. It was cold to the touch, which helped distract me from the pain. I wrapped my arms around the cold surface, squishing my face against it. By now, I'm pretty sure it some type of carved rock, which seems out of place for some reason. I can't remember why.

Movement on my arm caught my attention, knowing it was just Aerie, I ignored it, trying to dull the pain by yanking on my hair again. I whimpered loudly, wondering where May was.

I made a pathetic whimpering begging for someone to take my pain away. May would, usually. She was always there for me!

You know that noise kittens make when just after they're born? That pitiful little whimper they make that just about breaks your heart? I was making that noise.

If I had been paying attention to anything other than the pain, I would've heard the sounds of someone coming nearer, probably to investigate what poor creature was making such a noise.

It took me too long to hear the person, and I knew that I made a mistake. If this person wanted too, and trust me, many people do, he could've killed me.

I curled closer into myself, not recognizing the presence. It wasn't my May, that I was positive about. I quieted down a little when I heard a sigh.

Something gently grabbed my hand, trying to pull it out of my hair. I resisted, holding on with all my genetically enhanced strength. Of course, I wasn't in the best condition.

The person easily loosened my hold, and my hand became limp. My other arm was still wrapped around whatever I had been leaning against, holding on tightly. I felt Aerie slither onto my shoulders, over to my captured hand. There was a sharp hissing noise, and my hand dropped. Stupid snake.

"Aerie, stop." I moaned, rubbing my forehead against the rock in a stupid attempt to ease the pain. I knew May would would yelling at me for it, and probably holding me in her famous death grip by now.

"You're conscious?" The person asked. He had a nice voice, calming in an odd way. It didn't bother my head as much as other's voices would've. Really deep voice's vibrate more, and it causes me pain when in this state.

I nodded, wanting to open my eyes. I knew any kind of light I let in would hurt me terribly though. "I wish I wasn't."

The person chuckled, and I suddenly felt an arm slipping under my knees and another holding my back. I squeaked in surprise, making a sound similar to the sixth grade clarinet section. My arm instinctively wrapped tighter around the stone, brushing off the slight pain from the sharp edges. "

Hey. It's okay. I'm just gonna take you to get some medicine, and them we can talk to the hokage, okay?" The voice reassured me, his fingers slowly uncurling mine from the stone.

I squinted, trying to open my eyes to see my supposed savior. The sunlight was too bright, causing me to whimper, my hand coming to my head to pull at my hair again and tears to stream down my face.

My savior gently released my hand from my tangles again, muttering something about weird hair color. I guess hot pink is weird, but it's not like its my normal color. I'm naturally a blond. Dark blond.

"Stop that. I can't imagine it's helping." He chided.

"What's a hokage?" I asked lowly, burying my face in my saviors chest. My headache was slowly receding. Although most times the worst part-the part where I was wishing I was dead- only lasted about twenty minutes, minor flame ups would probably go on for another five hours. They made me so tired.

I could almost feel the man's confusion. "Hmmm," was all he replied.

"My name's Emilie Susaeki. You can call Lie." I murmured.

"Hatake Kakashi. You can call me Kakashi," my savior said, in such a way I thought he'd be smiling. Huh. I wonder what he looks like.

My snake hissed, gently scratching my arm with one of her fangs. I knew this was just to get attention, which I gave her. I pet her head, telling Kakashi, "This is Aerie. Don't worry, she won't bite you unless you attack me. Her venom is paralyzing and very painful, however."

"KAKASHI, MY ETERNAL RIVAL!" Someone yelled. His voice hurt my head. Plus, it was kind of irritating.

I felt Kakashi stop moving, sighing deeply. I buried my face deeper into his shirt, whimpering pathetically. I hated that a stupid headache could make me like this, so defenseless.

"Look I don't have any time right now-" my savior was interrupted by his 'friend' I guess.

The yelling person was now much closer, and I got to hear his exuberant chatter even better. I groaned quietly, my hand going back to my hair. The voice cut off abruptly, while my savior once again untangled my hand from my hair. "Stop."

"But, it hurts!" I whined, fighting against his iron grip on my hand feebly.

"That's why we're going to the hospital, Lie-kun." Kakashi explained calmly.

Aerie hissed, feeling my sudden spike in fear. "No, no, no! I do not like hospitals. They'll want DNA and then me and May will be captured again!" Although fuzzy, I can remember when they took us, and the image of May sitting in a cage across from me, planning our escape. She always made sure to be a hellion when they wanted tests, especially when they involved me. That way, I wouldn't get hurt as much.

"Captured?" The friend asked, the same time Kakashi asked, "Who's May?"

I nodded to the first, holding onto my savior's shirt in my fists.

"Never mind. Let's just get you some medicine for the pain. I promise nothing will happen, I'll be next to you the whole time. Guy, you go alert the hokage we have a... visitor?"

We started moving again, Kakashi's stomach muscles moving when we jumped for some reason. I wondered why.

"We need some pain medicine for a migraine." My savior told someone, the door making a small bell noise when we entered. After that, I blocked everything else out, concentrating on hearing Kakashi's heartbeat through his shirt.

Somebody brushed all the bangs out of my face. I kept my eyes closed they tilted my head back, making me drink some nasty tasting drink. I coughed, my eyes watering as I struggled to finish off the vile liquid.

"Gross." I scrunched up my face, as my savior chuckled at my expression. I slowly opened my eyes, scowling at him. "Why are you laughing, Hatake?"

The blurry image of my savior came into focus, revealing... Not much, actually. He had a mask thing covering everything under his eyes, and a slanted headband covering his left eye. Other than that, he had really spiky silver hair. And he said I have a weird hair color, I thought sarcastically.

Wait.

Why the hell is everything all animated? I looked around, realizing that the whole room was all anime'd and crap. Weird. I sighed, my eyes twitching as the fake lights made them water and itch uncomfortably. I then yawned, laying my head back on Kakashi's chest. "Where are we going now?"

"To see the hokage." My savior replied, giving me a closed eyed smile. "Can you walk on your own?"

I blinked, debating."I probably could, but I really don't want to. May always carries me when I get headaches, because it makes me really tired, and I get dizzy. Like when you don't have enough blood."

He shrugged, and started running to wherever the heck we can find this hokage person.

I stared at the headband he had on, wondering if I had seen it somewhere before. I searched through my memories, realizing that there were gaping holes in parts of it. "Kakashi?"

He glanced down at me, head tilted to the side. May does the same thing, I thought offhandedly. "Hmmm?"

"Why're you wearing a headband?"

"It's a forehead protecter. All the ninja's wear them. Our village is called Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves. It's a symbol of our loyalty to our village." He explained, opening a giant door.

"Ninja's?" I was beyond confused by this point.

"You don't know what a ninja is?" I shook my head, "Not really. Where I come from, we don't really have 'ninjas'. At least, I don't think we do. Me and May are good at fighting though. We have to be, otherwise they'd take us again."

Kakashi leaned against a wall, still looking down at me with the most perplexed expression. Well, at least, that I could see. Most of his face was, remind you, totally covered. "Who would take you back where?"

I heard noise in the background, I focused on answering my savior's question. "My friend May, when she was little, she was injected with bat DNA, and taken from her mother. She has two brothers', Jake and Nick, who both had the same done to them with bird DNA. They weren't her real parents, they were just doing a job, testing the 'mutants'. They escaped when they were about nine. Anyway, I saved her life one night, and we've been best friends ever since. Because of this when the people that changed her DNA finally caught up to her, they just took me as a kind of bonus."

"I see. That sounds like something the snake sannin would do," an older voice interjected.

I jumped, my hands flying to my throat in surprise. I looked around widely, spotting an old man sitting behind a large desk, wearing a funny hat and smoking a pipe. The pipe seemed sorta mobster-ish to me, but whatever floats his boat. "Holy crow! I didn't know you were here!" I breathed, leaning farther into Kakashi.

"Wait, what do you mean by snakes?" My eyes narrowed. "There's nothing wrong with snakes! They're cute, right Aerie?" I pouted, petting my beloved reptile gently. She hissed, baring her large fangs at me in a snakes version of a smile.

Kakashi's visible eye twitched, and he sighed. "Lie, this is the hokage."

"Oh!" I laughed, waving at the old man. "My name's Emilie Susaeki! Or, Susaeki Emilie, I guess? That's how Kakashi said his name. Hmmm." I pursed my lips, trying to think which would make more sense.

The old man, the hokage smiled, chuckling. "Susaeki, you say? I've never heard of that clan. Odd. I've heard of many clans in my time."

My eye brows furrowed. "O-kay? I'm not sure what you mean."

He seemed surprised, eyes narrowing slightly. I looked back at Kakashi, who had yet to put me down. Not that I minded being carried like a princess by an attractive older male, I mean, who in their right mind would? He wasn't my type though, and I thought of him in more of a brotherly sense.

"C-can you explain to me where I am? I'm not sure how I got here. I can't remember. There's like big gapes in my memory." I told them, turning back to the hokage.

He turned his gaze to Kakashi, "Speaking of-" There was an obnoxious explosion of glitter, interrupting what he was saying.

"Finally!" A very familiar voice cheered from inside the light purple sparkles. "Wait, why does everything look all anime'd?"

"May?"


	2. Chapter 2 Cutie pie time!

"That's your reaction to the girl that has once again saved your life? 'May'? Ugh!" May growled back, pursing her plump lips in annoyance.

She looked weird animated. Still gorgeous, but her scars showed up much more clearly. Being that she had thousands of them, it was hard to miss. Her blue-grey eyes seemed sparkler, and added to the fact her dark brown hair goes down to her knees, it was just an odd combo.

In her outfit, you could only just make out one of her tattoo's, the one that was of a cluster of fireworks on the inside of her wrist. I had the same tattoo in different colors on the back of my thigh.

Not to mention the fact she had huge fricking bat wings. Those were hidden under her hair though.

Her eyes widened as she took in who was holding me, then whipping her head around to see the hokage. She twitched slightly, looking back at me. "I take that back. You would've been better off in a cage with me then here."

"What do you mean, lovely?" I asked ignoring the looks Kakashi and the hokage were giving me.

"Hokage-sama!" May trilled, curtseying gracefully. "I'm afraid that I may've made a mistake, that somehow landed my dear Emilie in a different dimension."

"How do you know the hokage?" Kakashi questioned. I was wondering the same thing.

"How can I not, Hatake Kakashi-sensei? In my world y'all are in a TV show!" She jumped, smiling giddily.

I sighed. "May. Calm." I motioned with my hand for her to take it down.

She scowled at me playfully, nodding towards Kakashi. "I can't. It's completely impossible for me to be calm right now. You know how much energy it took me to get my soul over here? I'm sooooooo thirsty!" She dragged out the word just to annoy farther.

"For being older then me, you don't have much self-control." I reminded her.

"She's the older one?" Kakashi seemed surprised. May took this as an insult.

May placed a hand on her hip, glaring at him fearlessly. "Look, Copy Kitty-chan! I've been a lot the past twenty four hours, and unless you want all that delicious O-negative blood of yours in me, I would shut it, sweetheart." Her eyes flashed red, and she bared her fangs.

I told you she was genetically enhanced, didn't I? The hokage chuckled, shaking his head.

May looked back at him, her eyes now back to normal and the fangs receding into her mouth. "Sorry, hokage-sama! I said earlier I was thirsty!"

I looked back at Kakashi, who seemed a little shocked. He shifted uneasily, clearing his throat. I not sure if that's because of how fiercely she had snapped at him, or if he thought she was attractive. I leaned closer, putting my lips next to his ear to whisper, "She just turned eighteen. She's just short."

Kakashi snorted. May's eyes flickered back at us, tapping the side of her face at me in our sign for 'I can hear you'. Bat hearing. Dammit. She then turned back to the hokage, seeming to explain something.

"Is she single?" Kakashi still managed to look bored. Assumption confirmed! I thought happily.

I turned back to him, raising my eyebrows, "Well..." I thought about it. "That depends on your definition of 'single.' I'm pretty sure she has like seven guys that are under the impression they're dating, but she still argues that none of them asked her to be exclusive."

May was busy motioning with her hands to explain the situation to the hokage, but she broke off, narrowing her eyes at me. "Why are you discussing my not so love life with Copy Kitty?"

"It's a fun topic." I shrugged.

May seemed to accept this. "That's true." Then she smirked, "Didja tell him that kissing skills run in my family?"

I blushed, "May! Stop it, you hooker!"

Kakashi gently set me on the ground, his hand now covering his face. I raised my eyebrows, knowing that she was purposely making it seem like we were the ones kissing. In reality it was her brother Jake and me.

"You were the one in intensive care! How am I the hooker?" She snapped back playfully, slamming her fist on the hokage's desk.

I smiled, winking at her. "That's not an appropriate topic, darling."

May pretended to realize we were in the presence of others, and laughed at the hokage's blushing face. Kakashi still had his hand pressed against his face for whatever reason.

"Oh, I'm sorry hokage-sama! You remember that I said I have two brothers? Jake is the one she kissed," she explained, smiling innocently. We both knew she knew exactly what both men assumed, and she loved messing with people.

Kakashi sighed, gaining the attention of the hokage. "Kakashi, Emilie-kun will be staying with you until further notice. According to her charming summoner, she's jonin level in Tai-Justu, but has no experience with chakra. May thinks she has a kekkei genkai, but is not positive. It could just be a mutation from the tests they endured." The hokage told him.

I tilted my head to the side. "What's a jonin?"

"An elite ninja!" May giggled, running one hand through her silky hair. I knew from experience how soft it really was.

Kakashi nodded, looking back at me. "What does she mean by gekkei genkai?"

May tapped my shoulder. "Flame on!" She trilled, snickering at her own joke.

I grinned, knowing what she meant. "Aerie, you too." I focused, clenching my fists and shutting my eyes. I felt a warm heat spreading over my body, and when I opened my eyes my entire body was aflame.

"Stone!" May cheered, signaling for me to change form again. The heat receded into me, leaving what could only described as rocky. I felt clumsy and heavy in this form, which is why it was uncommon for me to use it unless required. Without May's consent, I started switching over to water.

Aerie fell to the ground, hissing loudly. May scoped her up, murmuring sweet nothing's.

I sighed in relief as my body weight lessened, and I felt I could breath again. I smiled at May, "Wanna hug?" I opened my liquid arms wide, going to hug her.

She squealed, hiding behind the hokage. I poked Kakashi, soaking his arm in one move. I laughed, while he looked annoyed.

"I think we get the point." He said dryly, trying to shake off all the water. I just absorbed it back into myself, laughing at him. I closed my eyes then, focusing on becoming 'normal' again. It was harder to switch between normal and elements then from elements to elements.

The hokage cleared his throat, throwing something at me. I caught it midair, inspecting the new headband. "So, Kakashi, although Lie-kun is now a full fledged jonin, I expect you to train her in nin-justu and gen-jutsu."

Kakashi nodded, turning to me. "You need some new clothes... and a brush."

"Thanks," I remarked sarcastically.

May clapped her hand together childishly. "Gimme two hours Copy Kitty-chan! Hokage-sama gave me money." She started dragging us to the window. "Meet us at Ichiraku's, yeah! Now, let's go get you some ninja gear! And maybe some cute boys!"

"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked curiously.

Ignoring him, May pulled her hair out of the way, and picked me up. She unfolded her giant wings, jumping out of the window. She barely moved her wings, just enough for us to land safely on the ground with breaking any bones.

I smiled at her. "Care to explain?"

She shrugged. "I had to have a dramatic exit. Let's go find some pokey." She proceeded to yank me around Konoha, forcing me to try on a million and three different outfits, and to try every sweet thing they were selling on the street.

I wondered how much money the hokage really gave her.

We finally settled on a killer outfit that consisted of a hot pink spaghetti strap half top that matched my hair perfectly under a 'shirt' composed entirely of black lace. It was made of some specialized material that was meant to be movable and resist dirtying. The only draw back was that through the lace, if you were looking, you could make out the scars on my stomach. Some self-inflicted, and others from people that just didn't want me around anymore.

As for bottoms, I grabbed a pair of pure black mid thigh length shorts that barely covered my fireworks and black ninja shoes. May insisted that I wear black leather gloves too, which I found silly. Picking my hair up with a white ribbon, I called it a day.

Somehow, May also managed to convince the shop owner to redo my ninja headband so instead of navy blue cloth, it was now hot pink. I put it on my thigh, because Aerie had already claimed my waist as her new perch. Her silvery-white color complimented my ribbon.

After that ordeal was finished and buying all kinds of weapons we both previously handled, May decided it was "search for boys time".

"What a drag," I groaned, trying to release my wrist from her iron grip. It didn't work very well.

She snickered, "That's 'punny'!" She turned her head to look at me, blindly dragging me through crowds of people. It's really not surprising that we crashed into someone.

May tumbled over the poor soul, while I finally got free. She somersaulted a few times landing on her butt, with a small ball of fluff in her hands.

A boy landed next to my feet, head first. He hissed in pain, clutching his head. I laughed, trying to help the poor boy up. "Sorry about that," I held out my hand, yanking him up.

He seemed to be about twelve or thirteen, with pale brown eyes and light brown hair. He had big red fang-triangle things on each cheek, making him look somewhat like a native american. I wouldn't be surprised if Pocahontas turned out to be his sister. The boy frowned, pulling the hood back up his shirt.

Aww, I pouted. He looked cuter without the hood on! May seemed to agree, frowning when he put the hood on.

"Hey... you look like... So that means, you're..." May slowly put something to together. Her face light up. "AKAMARU!" She giggled, kissing the top of the puppies head. "Aww, you're so cute! Yes, you are!"

She hugged him to her chest, smiling brightly. "I love you so much, you adorable little puppy-nin!" The puppy seemed to smile, whimpering for more petting.

I sweatdropped, giving the boy an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry about my friend. She's really affectionate."

"Akamaru likes it." He shrugged, holding out his hand. "My name's Kiba, baby-doll."

I shook his hand, smirking. "I'm Lie. That's May, don't mind her. She might smother your dog with her chest though."

"He would die a happy dog." He said mock solemnly.

"Kiba-kun! I would would never hurt my Akamaru-puppy-chan! He's so fricken cute and cuddly and if not for the fact he already has an owner, I would adopt him and love him forever!" May protested, pouting up at Kiba.

I shook my head fondly, grabbing her outstretched hand. "You were supposed to let Kiba help me up." She grumbled, feigning hurt.

"He's too young for you, cougar." I leaned forward, petting the little puppy. May was right about his cuteness.

She narrowed her eyes, "This coming from the jonin! I just turned eighteen! I am not old. I can't even legally drink yet."

"That's never stopped you before."

She brushed it off. "Anyway! Hi, my name's May! This is Aerie, I promise she won't eat your puppy-nin." She pointed to my 'belt,' grinning. Aerie lazily lifted her head from my hip bone, taking in both Akamaru and Kiba.

Kiba blinked, grinning. "You have a snake?"

"Well, so do you..." May smirked, not looking away from the little puppy.

I smacked her arm, making the batgirl yelp in pain. Kiba took a little longer to understand what she just said. I knew he understood when he started laughing loudly, looking at the small batgirl in surprise.

She smiled impishly, handing back Akamaru. "We're gonna go get some ramen. See ya later, hottie!" She leaned forward, pecking Kiba's cheek cutely. I followed suite, and then grabbed my bast friends hand.

We left a stunned Kiba standing in the middle of the street.

We both snickered, looking at each other with huge smiles plastered on our faces. "Silly boy!" We continued laughing, until I realized something. "Uh. May, how are we gonna find the ramen place?"

May blanched. "Dang it." She gave her equivalent of a cuss word. May doesn't think you should swear unless its the only thing stopping you from ripping someone's throat out. I have a horrible temper and a mouth to match.

"So. What are we going to do?"

She snapped her fingers together. "We find Ichiraku's best visitor! Uzamaki Naruto!"

"If he's their best, wouldn't he already be there?"

May twitched. "Well, actually. Now, that I think of it, I'm kind of hungry. I think I'm gonna go get some Mexican food." She smiled devilishly. I knew that look. It wasn't a good look either. Nothing good ever happens when she gives me that look.

I paled. "Don't you dare!"

"Too late. Here's your money though" May trilled, handing me a handful of cash and waving as she suddenly disappeared.

That damn BAT! I screeched internally. Aerie hissed, reacting to my sudden bloodlust. "I'm going to kill her!" I snarled at Aerie. She pulled away from me slightly, baring her fangs. I smiled, chuckling. Good girl.

Planning May's death won't help me find Ichiraku's though, I reasoned. I started walking, petting Aerie absentmindedly as I did so. I looked for people about my age, suddenly spotting a girl with fabulous taste in hair color.

"Hey, pinky!" I yelled, waving lazily.

The girl turned, looking very confused. She had mint green eyes and was wearing a pink dress. She was actually very pretty, although the long hair didn't frame her face correctly.

I waved again, nodding at her. "I like your hair, Pinky." I called, smiling.

She walked closer, still confused. Her eyes swept over my outfit, and seeing the headband, she looked even more confused. "I've never seen you around before?"

"I'm Susaeki Lie! Do you know where Ichiraku's is? I'm supposed to meet someone there, and I'm totally lost."

She nodded, smiling warmly. I decided I liked her. "I know where it is. That loser Naruto likes going there. They have really good food though, course I'm on a diet. My name's Haruno Sakura, by the way." She rambled.

My eyes widened. "Why the hell are you on a diet!? You're so skinny and cute! You're probably half my weight and I'm a jonin!"

"Well, I like this boy- wait! You're a jonin? You're so young!"

I waved it off, "Yeah. Yeah. Tell me about this boy you like."

She blushed, looking adorable. If she was my little sister, I would've hugged the life out of her. "Actually, a lot of people like him. His name is Uchiha Sasuke. He's just so cool! I mean, I've liked him for so long, and it just has to be, right? But so many other girls like him too, especially Ino-pig! We used to be best friends."

I nodded, listening to her go on and on about this boy, "And so, I've been trying to lose weight, and I grew out my hair, because I heard Sasuke like's long hair. Maybe then they'll stop making fun of my forehead," She concluded, just as we reached the ramen shop.

I settled into my seat and turned to Sakura. "Look. I know what it's like to be in love, or think you're in love, but Sakura, you're a very pretty young girl. I don't care what 'they' tell you about your forehead, I mean, everyone has flaws! So, they can shut they damn mouths about your forehead. And if this Sasuke doesn't accept you unless you change, I don't think you should waste your time." It was as simple as that.

"I'll... I will think about that. Thank you Lie-chan!" She smiled, walking away.

The owner asked me what I would like, smiling.

I grinned in reply, ordering just plain ramen. My stomach growled loudly while I waited. I gently removed Aerie from my waist, setting her down on the counter next to me as I stood up to stretch.

My joints cracked with a satisfying _crk_.

There was an orange blur to my left, and suddenly I had a seat buddy. I settled back down next to him, watching him curiously. He grinned, yelling. "The usual!"

The owner handed me my food, nodding at the orange clad boy.

I started eating, giving an overly dramatic shiver of pleasure as the delicious taste hit me. "This is the most delicious ramen I've ever had!" I smiled.

The boy laughed, leaning against the counter. "You've never been here before?"

I shook my head. "I'm not from around here. I just officially became a ninja of the leaf earlier today. My name's Susaeki Lie." I didn't offer my hand, because they were to busy scoping up the heavenly ramen.

"I'm Uzamaki Naruto, and I'm going to be the next Hokage, believe it!" He grinned, his voice completely sure of this goal.

I smiled in return. "That's a good dream to have."

"It's gonna be reality, believe it!" He cheered.

"I'm sure it will be, Uzamaki-san. It's very ambitious." I replied, leaning forward to pet Aerie on the head. She tilted her head to look at me, yawning. "You lazy thing," I jeered affectionately.

Naruto started eating his own bowl of ramen, as I asked for another. He looked back at me, "What's your dream?"

I thought about it, quietly clacking my chopsticks together. "I guess, my dream would be... just to be happy. It seems like such an easy dream, but for me it's been real hard to attain. You know?" I smiled sadly at the blond boy.

Naruto gave his own in return, "Don't worry Lie-chan, we'll both have our dreams, believe it!"

I winked at him, "I believe it with all my heart, Whiskers!"

"I don't have whiskers!" He scowled cutely. I wanted to pinch his cheeks.

"Then what's on your face?"

"I don't know! They're birth marks!"

"Deeeee-nial." I trilled, starting on my second bowl of ramen, just as Naruto started on what looked like his forth. Was he magic or something?

He glared at me. "They're not whiskers."

"Sweetie pie, we both know I'm right, and it's okay, because it makes you cuter!" I ruffled his hair, grinning as a blush kept across his whisker'd face. Three boys in one day!

I would say its a record, but I know when May and I have caused many more blushes than that in one day.

Someone tapped my shoulder.

I flipped out. I whirled around, my fist flying at the creeper that had touched me. I made sure not to use my full strength, though. I didn't want to have to deal with a hospital bill. I landed a solid punch before he could react, and he hit the floor. I

caught sight of silver hair, and instantly knew who it was. "Oh, shit!" I swore, ducking down to try and help him up. "I'm so sorry, Kakashi-kun! I thought you some creeper! Wait, not like that! You don't look like a creeper, I just thought... Never mind!" I scrambled, cringing.

Kakashi sat up, rubbing the side of his face. He was actually laughing. "It's okay. I'll admit I didn't expect you to that fast or strong." He chuckled, taking my hand.

I pulled him up, blushing in embarrassment. I'm such an idiot! "It took you long enough to get here." I scowled. "You totally deserved that."

He scratched the back of his head nervously. "I like your outfit?"

Rolling my eyes, I huffed, turning to Naruto, "Bye-bye Whisker-chan! I'll see you around." I picked up Aerie, looking back at Kakashi, and holding my arms out, "Let's go."

He blinked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm tired. Carry me, Kakashi-kun?" I pouted, making my eyes water with crocodile tears.

He sweat dropped. "You just punched me in the face, and you expect me to carry you?"

"Yes."

I think we all know who won this argument.


	3. Chapter 3! I'm a terrible teacher

**I forgot leave an anotheress's note on the past chapter, sorry! Anyway, I posted this story YESTERDAY and I already have people following, so thank you so much, it means a lot to me. ^.^ You have know idea how much of an idiot I looked like when receiving an email about people following this! Smiling at my iPad...**

**Anyway. No. I do not own Naruto, if I did, Deidara would've shown that meany puss Sasuke whats up, and then married a girl that looks exactly like me. (I personally have nothing against Sasuke, I just think he takes revenge a little to far.) **

**I LOVE YOU. **

**AND CHEESECAKE. **

**And Deidara, if you haven't noticed... Jerkasaurousrex3 **

* * *

I got up in the morning at my usual time, four AM. While that's early for most, I picked up the trait from my grandpa. I stated with him for the summer... After my parents died.

They were in a car accident, driving home after going on a romantic date that my older brother and I suggested they take. 'We can take care of the little ones! Go have fun.' It was a fatal mistake on our part. The brakes failed on the icy patch only a black away from our house, and bam. No more parents.

My siblings were spread out all over the country, staying with aunts and in my second sister's case, birth parents. I stayed with my grampa until the new school year started, which is when I got my own place.

I met May only a few months later, when I stopped what I thought was a attempted kidnapping. May was taking on two mutts at the same time, after flying all day to get there. She was trying to find her aunt. May's mother killed herself before May ever knew her name.

Enough of that! I got up stretching all my muscles.

Why I was so sore? I have no clue.

First, I took a shower, making sure to lock the door. It's not that I don't trust Kakashi, but the fact that he's been living by himself for who knows how long, I doubt he'd think twice about just walking in on me. His house was surprisingly clean though. I also had to use boy soap.

Gross. Why can't boys shampoo smell like flowers like mine does?

Looks like I'll have to shopping again later today, after training and whatnot. Speaking of training, I should go for a run later.

After my 'manly' shower, I searched through Kakashi's cupboard, looking for something to eat.

Another thing about bachelors place's, they don't have spices. Never. Unless the guy is a chef or something, they never expand their flavorings past salt. I sighed, settling on making bland, unpeppered, hash browns that I shredded myself with a kunai–-becuase being Kakashi, he also doesn't have a damn cheese cheddar.- and made some scrambled eggs.

I was kind of surprised that he had pans. I cooked my food, then made extra for Kakashi, who probably hadn't had a good home cooked meal in forever. It was about five thirty by this time, so I figured I may as well wake the lazy ninja in question.

I opened the door quietly, and said in my best drill sergeant voice, "KAKASHI. You want some breakfast, Copy Kitty-chan!?"

His reaction was priceless. Of course, being the ninja he is, although half asleep, he shot out of bed with a kunai in is hand, face as planned, totally uncovered. I noticed the scar, and the different colored eye, but I said nothing.

I snickered, leaning against the door frame. "Yo." I smiled at him, waving. Kakashi slowly relaxed, glaring at me from across the room.

"Hey. I just thought you'd want some breakfast! Wanna be mean about it, I'm sure the hokage would love a nice home cooked meal." I started walking down the hall, giggling.

Kakashi followed lazily, mumbling about annoying teenagers. I leaned against the counter, devouring my breakfast. I glanced up as he entered, now wearing his little mask thing.

"I need to go shopping again," I told him, motioning to his plate for him.

Kakashi yawned, stretching his arms above his head. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the view, but again, he's not my type. I like blondes. "Why?" Kakashi asked slowly, picking his plate up from the table.

I twirled a piece of hot pink hair around my finger, frowning. "My hair smells like a boy, and you have absolutely no good food. I had to shred those potatoes with a frickin kunai. You know hard that is?" I raised my eyebrows, setting my now empty plate in the sink.

I turned back to Kakashi, eyes narrowed, daring him to protest my decision.

He shrugged, instead asking, "Why aren't you wearing pants?"

I scowled. "No, no, no! Lie-chan does not put on pants in the house! It is my house, I do not wear pants." Currently, I was wearing a loose t-shirt, that I believe is Kakashi's considering I found it in his room when he wasn't paying attention, and my pale blue boy-short panties.

The Copy Cat ninja chuckled, "Sure. But when Guy comes over, you're explaining to him why I have a sixteen year old in my house without any pants."

"Our house?" I snapped back.I'm not sure who Guy was, but I'd assume its one of his ninja friends. I just really hope it's not that man with the yelling problem that stopped us on the way to the hospital.

"Our house," Kakashi sighed, giving me a closed eye smile. I grinned in return.

"Okay! Now, can we start chakra training? I'm really excited."

"You should probably get dressed first, and then we're going to the Academy to find some scrolls for you to read before actually trying chakra control."

I nodded, darting to my room. I quickly threw on my ninja outfit, grabbing a still sleeping Aerie from my bed and wrapping her round my waist. I tied my hair up again with the same ribbon, and met Kakashi by the door.

"Hey! You know what I just realized? Why do you have that jacket, and I don't? I saw another ninja yesterday that had the same jacket." I barked, pouting at him.

"You could probably ask for one, being that you are a jonin, but it'd be hard for you to blend in with others you age wearing one of these." He replied calmly.

I slammed my fist against the wall, angry for me reason. My lips pressed into to a hard line. "That's not fair. I want a jacket whether I wear to or not!"

I was acting like a brat, which Kakashi found amusing. He laughed, shaking his head. "Ask the hokage for one next time we see him, okay? Ask nicely, too."

"Fabulous. Now let's go get those scrolls!" We jumped on the rooftops. I easily kept up with Kakashi, making him frown. Apparently, I was pretty quick.

"Come on, old man!" I teased, jumping ahead of him.

Kakashi made a hand sign, and disappeared. He reappeared thirty feet ahead of me, smiling like an idiot.

I growled, "No fair! I can't use chakra yet!"

"All's fair in love and war!"

"I'm going to knock your lights out, Copy Kitty-chan!"

This was how we ran to the Academy, arriving slightly out of breath and glaring at each other. "Jerk." I muttered, walking ahead of him, into the classroom.

Kakashi came in behind me, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. We had interrupted class. "Ehh, hey, Iruka?"

The teacher glanced at us, stopping mid yell. I looked at the kid he was bitching out, surprised to see Whiskers sitting there with a cute little out in his face. "Kakashi?" The teacher asked.

I ignored their little conversation about scrolls, walking over to Naruto. I sat down next to him, carefully untying the ropes on his wrists. What kind of teacher was Iruka?

"Thanks, Lie-chan!" Naruto whispered, standing up.

I looked at Iruka and Kakashi, who were still discussing what scrolls would be the best for me to start with. Looking back at Naruto, I realized he was slowly backing towards the window, I grinned at him, nodding.

To distract everyone else when Naruto made his escape, I jumped onto the podium thing Iruka had been yelling from, turning to all the students. "Hi, guys! I'm Susaeki Lie, but you can call me Lie-sensei, because Iruka-san is busy! You too, puppy-kun!" I pointed to Kiba, smiling slightly.

To my right, I heard the window slide open, so I kept the attention on me. A girl with long blond hair made the easier for me to do just that, not even bothering to raise her hand before obnoxiously yelling, "Why should we call you sensei? You're almost the same age as we are!"

"What's your name, sweetheart?" I asked gently, smiling sweetly at the annoying little not quite yet ninja.

"Yamanaka Ino."

My smiled dropped. "Well, Ino-san, you're not even a genin," I stealthily pulled out a shuriken, "And I, although I am sixteen, am a jonin." I flicked the sharp little throwing star, imbedding it directly in front of the blond girl.

She jumped, fear plain on her face. "Y-yes, Lie-sensei." She stuttered.

The rest of the class had gone deathly silent. I giggled, spinning a second star on my pinkie. "Any more questions?" The rest of them made no noise, aside from Akamaru, who barked happily. Kiba told him to shut up. "Now, who can remind me what chakra is?"

A familiar pinkette's hand shot up, along with several other hands. I smiled at her, but pointed to a boy with spiky dark brown hair who was sitting in his chair with a bored expression on his face, "What's your name, and what's chakra?"

"What a drag," he groaned. I glared. "Nara Shikamaru. Chakra is the basic energy for all living things and how we ninja make jutsu's. Using too much at one time will potentially kill you."

I clapped my hands, "Good job, Deer-kun! Now, someone tell me the differences between tai, gen, and ninjutsu!"

More students raised their hands for this question, some smiling smugly. By this time, I knew Naruto was gone, but I was actually kind of liked playing 'teacher'. I called on another boy who hadn't raised his hand, a pudgy little thing who hadn't stopped eating potato chips since I entered the classroom. I learned his name was Akamichi Choji.

Before asking the next question, I disappeared, darting behind Kiba. I lightly placed a kunai against his throat, and asked the rest of the class, "So, what category what this count under, class? Just shout out your answer this time.. but, of you're wrong, well.. Poor Kiba!"

I dipped my head lower, whispering to Kiba, "Don't worry, Kiba-kun, I wouldn't kill you... Ino, maybe."

He chuckled, surprising the rest of the class, who were currently freaking out.

"Somebody better answer," I sang, pressing the kunai harder against his throat. It still barely brushed against his neck, and although the rest of the students were worried about him, he was cool as a cucumber. Even Akamaru wasn't worried, as he licked my hand.

Finally, a blue-haired girl spook up, "I-isn't it using n-ninjutsu to sneak u-up o-on Kiba-kun? A-and it would be t-taijutsu right n-now, because y-you're holding h-him hostage with a weapon?" She hid her face at the end. Awww.

I dropped my hand, petting Akamaru before straightening up. "Taijutsu is mostly hand-to-hand combat, but you're partially correct! At least you had the guts to speak up, unlike the rest of these chickens." I sneered the last bit, looking at the rest of the class accusingly.

"Remember, everyone one of you in this classroom," I paused, glancing at the open window, "and Naruto, are training to become ninja! Sometimes a comrade is going to be held hostage, and they won't think twice about killing my Kibe-kun. You can't waste time freaking out about it."

"Hey, where is Naruto?" Sakura picked up on my subtle hint then? Good girl.

I shrugged, looking at the blue haired girl, "What's your name, lovely?"

"Hyuga Hinata." She smiled sweetly, blushing like mad. Awww! I just wanted to hug the life out her! She's so kawaii!

Reaching into my weapon bags, I pulled of a box of pocky. I tossed her a stick, "Good job. You to Deer-kun, Chojo-kun!" I chucked a piece of candy at both of them, Shakimaru barely managing to look up in time to catch it. Lazy ass.

I walked back to the front of the classroom, asking the class everything Kakashi told me about last night before bed. I knew I would run out eventually, but right now, almost every kid had their hands in the air, eyeing my box of pocky.

I heard Iruka laughing from the door, a stack of scrolls in his arms. I scowled lightly at him, "There is nothing wrong with good old fashioned bribery, Iruka-kun!"

"Kakashi, come here! Look at my class." He yelled out the door, still laughing.

Kakashi appeared next to him, taking in how many children had the hands in the air. He smiled, "And I was worried she'd kill one of 'em."

I pouted at the older jonin. "I don't see how this is funny! Not a single one of them is dead, and Naruto is the only one who's been smart enough to try and escape, and they call them selves Ninja!" My students sweat dropped along with Iruka and Kakashi.

Sakura was just offended to be compared to Naruto, "Hey! How were we supposed to know you wanted us to try to escape, Lie-sensei!?"

I snickered. "How many of you noticed the alleged 'worst student' jump out the window? And, no, you don't count Sasuke. I know you saw him." I nodded to the stoic boy near the window. He had black hair that resembled a duck, and eyes the exact same color as my own since coming to the ninja world, black.

No one raised their hand this time, but I chucked a stick of pocky at the Uchiha. The boy Sakura likes, I remembered, glancing at the pink haired girl.

He caught it, muttering "Hn."

I laughed, nodding to Iruka to take over. "Actually, guys its lunch time, so be back in forty minutes. If any of you see Naruto, drag him back here." He sounded somewhat nervous, looking at me every few seconds.

Wait.

I know that look.

I snapped my head up to glare at Kakashi, grinding my teeth together. That conniving, silver haired, _asymmetrical_ bastard! I slowly held up a kunai, pretending to slice my neck with it. I then pointed it straight at Kakashi.

My spidey senses told me he was smirking, which I found annoying. Aerie decided it was time to intervene, by clamping her poison laced fangs onto my arm.

"Dammit! Aerie, that hurts like a bit-puta" I switched to Spanish, reminding myself their are children in the room, and May would be hitting me right about now. I growled at my snake, "Release. Now."

She gave me a look that clearly stated, 'stop being a baby,' and let go of my poor arm. She went back to pretending to be a belt while I rummaged in my bag for bandages, muttering about idiotic snakes that didn't know their place.

"Damn. Kakashi, bandages?"

He chucked a roll at me, not looking up from an orange book he was currently reading, "You're pet getting sassy?"

I tried putting it on myself, which didn't work because the bite was near my hand, and I needed two hands to tie a note, unless I wanted to use my teeth. Keeping in mind Kakashi gave me the bandages, I decided a didn't want to risk it.

Iruka caught my hand when I went to throw the stupid wraps on the floor out of frustration. "Just let me do it," he smiled, dark eyes warm.

I nodded, slightly... what's the right word? Awestruck? Stunned? Drop dead struck down by the cuteness? Totally and completely blushing like an idiotic fangirl? My face was probably the same color as my fucking hair!

Aerie hissed at me, hearing my thoughts with her ninja snake senses. She got her opposition from cursing from May.

"Shut it, Aerie." I snapped at her, baring my not so impressive teeth. It was a sign of dominance. Her golden eyes flashed, but she nodded, settling back onto my hip.

Iruka gently set my wound, smiling happily. I had to fight back a sigh. God! He was just so adorable, but... he's not my type. Maybe that was because... never mind.

I crushed down with thoughts with my metaphorical foot, reminding myself that May was there. May saved me.

"Does she have poison?" Iruka asked calmly, looking down at me. I was shorter then him by a full six inches, which was just not cool.

"Yes. It's causes paralysis, nerve damage, and hurts like a bitch." I confirmed. Iruka flinched. I grinned, petting Aerie gently. "Don't worry. I'm immune to most poisons. I'm a mutant."

Someone out their arm around my shoulders. I acted out of reflex, flipping them over me to the floor. Iruka managed to get out of the way in time to dodge Kiba. That idiot. I sighed, looking at Akamaru. "Puppy-chan, why do you put up with him?"

Kiba scowled, "I was gonna ask if you wanted to have lunch at my house. I told my mom I met a jonin and she doesn't believe me. Crazy bat."

I looked at Kakashi, who just shrugged, giving Iruka a meaningful look.

"Sure, Kiba-kun. I'll see you later, Iruka-chan!" I had to stand on my tiptoes to peck his cheek. Grabbing Kiba's hand, I darted out of the room, giggling to myself. God, I love messing with boys.

Kiba's house was actually pretty close, and I entertained myself by petting Akamaru while we walked. Kiba was too 'tired' to run there, which made no sense considering he was a flipping ninja in training. He was almost as lazy as that Nara kid. He opened the door stepping in and leaving it open for me.

"Hey, Kiba-kun?"

"What?"

"Why are so lazy?" I asked innocently.

Kiba spun around, glaring at me. "You sound like my mother." Akamaru barked in agreement.

I shrugged, walking ahead of him. "KIBA!" Someone yelled from my right. I turned, finding the slidey door thing.

Kiba grabbed my hand before I could open it, "I wouldn't do that." Sticking my tongue out at the boy, I slid it open anyway, revealing a wild looking woman leaning against the counter and a huge dog she appeared to be talking with.

My eyes lite up. "Aww! You're so cute and vicious looking!" I purred.

Kiba snickered. "Are you talking to Kuromaru or my mother?"

"Shut it, Kiba-kun! Don't disrespect your mother." I snarled, punching him lightly in the gut. He doubled over, groaning quietly. I cringed, "Sorry! Didn't mean to hit you quite that hard...

"Umm. Anyway." I turned back to his mother, who was watching me with amusement. I held my hand out, "My name's Susaeki Lie. I'm the jonin your lazy-ass son was talking about. I would've gotten here sooner, but he wanted to walk instead of running. Sorry about punching him by the way. It just really annoys me when people don't appreciate their parents."

Have I ever mentioned that I ramble when I'm nervous?

I mean, she's the first jonin I've met other than Kakashi, who doesn't really count. The first impression he had of me was me writhing in pain.

"I like her."

I jerked back, staring at the dog in surprise. "You talk!?"

"Well, duh. You just heard me talk." He rolled his eye.

"I'm jealous." I stated, pursing my lips. I plucked Aerie off my waist, "Why the hell don't you talk?"

Kiba's mother laughed, smiling at me somewhat scarily. I'm pretty sure that's just a family trait. "I like her too. My name's Tsume, and this is my partner, Kuromaru." She shook my hand forcefully, probably testing me. I held my ground, smiling at her brightly.

"Of course you like her! I told you that yesterday!" Kiba grumbled, walking around us to grab a plate of whatever was on the counter. It looked like steamed rice with a bunch of vegetables mixed in. He walked over to the stove, and dumped a pile of meat over top of that.

I scowled at him, "Kiba, sweetie pie. I had a kunai to your throat less then an hour ago. I wouldn't push my temper."

Tsume snickered, Kuromaru joining in, saying, "Boy, how'd your girlfriend get the jump on you?"

"I'm not his girlfriend!" I shot the semi frightening dog a look.

"She's a smart girl." Tsume poked fun at her son.

Kiba narrowed his canine like eyes, stopping mid-bite to shoot back, "Hey! At least I didn't scare her off!"

I giggled, picking up my own plate from the counter. I didn't add any meat to it though, being that I'm a vegetarian. Tsume mentioned this and I had to explain, "My best friend used to be a vegetarian, but she couldn't anymore for... Medical reasons, so we made a deal I'd be a vegetarian."

"Medical reasons?" Kuromaru asked curiously, tilting his large head to the side.

"Orochimaru does like tests and shit on people right, to change their DNA? We had people like that where I come from, and they screwed with her. So, now, she can't live for more than two weeks without... Blood. She's basically a vampire. You can imagine how much this bothers her."

I spun a piece of hair around my fingers. "Her mother killed herself a few years back. My parents both died in an accident." I didn't mention her Dad, because it knew it almost broke her when he rejected his first three kids because of their wings.

Kiba almost dropped his plate on the floor. Both Tsume and Kuromaru seemed to be deep in thought, looking at each other every few seconds. "Who're you staying with, again?"

"Hatake."

She nodded. "Well, if you ever wanna stay over here, Hana and I would love to have another girl around. We can make a day of it!"

"Hana? You have a sister, Kiba-kun?"

"Yeah, she works at the vet clinic."

"Huh." I glanced at the time. "Dang! Kiba-kun! We're going to be late! Kakashi-" I thought about it. "Well, actually Kakashi is always late. I'm fine. You're screwed though, boy."

Kiba's eyes widened when he realized what time it was. We had two minutes for a ten minute walk. I grabbed his hand, flipping him over my shoulder and onto my back, "Hold on!" I ordered.

"Bye, Tsume, Kuromaru!" I snapped, darting out of the room at full speed.

Her laughter reached me just barely as I jumped into the roof tops, moving so fast everything blurred beneath my feet. When I finally spotted the Academy, I could just make out the classroom window before I was flying through it, landing gracefully on all fours, Kiba still on my back with his arms wrapped around my neck.

Iruka looked up, blinking rapidly like he was imagining things.

I giggled, throwing an out of breath Kiba onto the floor. Akamaru looked mildly terrified.

"Am I late?" I asked coolly, brushing messy hot pink hair out of my eyes.

"N-no. I was about to start class." Iruka stopped blinking, eyes flickering between his student and I, looking very confused.

"Fabulous!" I chirped, winking at him. "Tsume and I were talking and we lost track of time. I couldn't have my Kiba-kun late to his favorite class though, now could I?"

Kiba groaned. "Don't ever do that again! Please." He sat up slowly, stumbling as if drunk. He was a wee bit dizzy, I assume.

"I'm gonna go find Kaka-Baka! Thanks for the scrolls, Iruka-kun!" I scooped them up as I walked away, managing to grab them all with one arm.

Knowing Kakashi, he's probably off doing absolutely nothing.

...

Or reading porn.


	4. Chapter 4! Coffee with S-rank criminals!

**Sorry about not updating yesterday! My Glitter Striper and I had a sleepover so I had no time to write at all. We were watching a whole bunch of anime's and picking people to add to my 'corner list.' D. Grey Man, is the best.**

**Thank you to all my fans, I can't believe people are reading my story in flippen Austria! It's so amazing. And getting emails from people that like my start makes me very happy, so review! **

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, IF I DID, DEIDARA WOULD BE MY LOVELY BLONDE HUSBAND AND SASORI WOULD BE OUR MISTRESS. (Along with every one else on my corner list. *cough cough*) **

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I learned quickly, easily understanding how to place and break genjutsus. Kakashi said I was a natural, which considering he has the Sharingan, makes me very happy.

He's gone as far to start placing random genjutsus around the house as a test. He thought it was hilarious when an imaginary bear jump out at me while I was _selflessly_ making him a dinner because he came home from a mission. Idiot. I broke the genjutsu, and came after the Copy Cat ninja with a frying pan.

Ninjutsu was another story however. I actually kind of sucked at it. Kakashi would always find me when I tried to hide and cover my chakra trail.

Apparently, if I ever tried to be an assassin, I would be screwed. Because of my terrible chakra suppressing abilities. The only time I actually 'survived' one of our ninjutsu training sessions, it was because I found Naruto, who has about the same amount of chakra as I do. I confused Kakashi, and he ended up tracing Whiskers instead of me.

I also learned that I have a dual-nature chakra, being that of water and lightening. It seemed really cool to have lightening, although the water part was boring, Kakashi assured me that both were very strong. I learned several lightening jutsu's from Kakashi, who has the same. He promised once I got stronger he would teach me the chidori. I promised I would kick his ass if he didn't, and being the smart man he is, he took my threat to heart, knowing I fully well could in a one-on-one taijutsu fight.

May has only visited once since then, and she seemed very distracted. I asked her about, but she just gave me a sweet smile, saying that her Emilie-chan was safe, and that's all that matters.

I also started receiving missions. But because I don't I have a team, the hokage has been sending me on all sorts of delivery kinds of things, going to this village get this 'super important scroll' and coming back. The hokage told me that was because I had a way of charming people. It was a good quality to have for a liaison between villages.

Currently, I was traveling to the village hidden in the stone, Iwagakure. I had to pick up a letter from their Tsuchikage to the Hokage.

It was a rather long trip, which bored me.

I hadn't run into a single traveler today, and the only thing I had to keep me company was a pissy snake. I sighed, jumping through the trees. Maybe I should get a book. Kakashi _always_ has a book, if you can either call it that. The perv.

I shook my head, realizing it was getting pretty late. I'd probably reach Iwa tomorrow afternoon. Then I'd stay for a day or two, and be back jumping through trees.

The sudden scent of coffee had my mouth watering. I jumped in that direction, following the scent like a dog.

Coffee! God, I love coffee.

I landed gracefully in a clearing, right next to two other travelers. They both had on strange matching black cloaks on. Maybe they're in some type of club or something.

They instantly took up fighting stances, alerting me that they were ninja. I pouted, holding my arms up defensively, "Hey! I just wanted to know if you would share your coffee with me! I'm not going to attack you. God, you act like I'm a vicious looking nin." I frowned, taking in their strange appearances.

One of them was literally blue. Not even kidding you. His skin was light blue, and he had little gill-like markings under his eyes. He smiled at me, revealing small pointy teeth. Not nearly as frightening as May's though, and she's five-foot-one-_and a half_. This dude was like a fricken giant, and that's coming from the girl dubbed Albatross by her best friend.

Not to mention the huge fu-flipping sword he had a his hand, pointed at me.

I backed up a little bit, pressing my imaginary ears against my head. "You know, I had a friend that was part fish once," I mussed, tilting my head to the side. "His name was Shawn."

The other one sighed. "Kisame. I doubt she's a threat."

I glanced back at him, eyes widening slightly when I noticed he had the Sharigan. He also had long black hair that bordered on girly, but he somehow made it work. They were both rogues with crossed out village symbols on their headbands.

"I'm just going to Iwa." I replied slowly, relaxing a tiny bit. Around my waist, Aerie was coiled and ready to bite as soon as I gave permission, although she kept up the act of my belt. "So... Can I have some coffee? I swear Kakashi has something against the stuff."

The black haired one, who I assumed to be the infamous Uchiha Itachi, looked at his partner. The blue man shrugged, sitting back down on the floor next to the fire.

I followed suite, trying to brush off the feeling my life had just been spared. "Thank you very much! My name is Lie," I told them, nervously holding out my hand.

The shark laughed, clearly sensing my distress. He shook my hand, smiling widely to show off his pointy teeth. "I'm Kisame, this is my partner, Itachi. You're very lucky we're both to tired to kill you."

I nodded, smiling. "I am! If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to have any pocky, or threaten the genin's lives when Iruka gets distracted!"

Kisame snickered. Itachi spook up, quietly, "You're from Konohagakure?"

I thought about it before answering, "No. Not really. I've been living there for about three weeks now. I'm technically a ninja now." I pointed to my hot pink headband, which I'm sure they both already noticed.

"And why should we trust you won't tell anyone you saw us?"

Kisame handed me a cup of coffee, which I sipped before replying, "Well, I can't tell you you should. It's up for you to decide. I just know you had the chance the kill me, and neither of you did, so I figure I owe you. I'm not sure why I would tell anyone I saw you anyway." I blinked, looking up at Itachi. "Unless you want me to tell someone?"

"No." Itachi glanced at me coldly, Sharigan still blazing.

I nodded, turning to Kisame. "So. Are you a shark?" He smirked, shaking his head yes. I smiled. "Cool. Shawn was like a trout or some shit. Sharks are much cooler. Although my friend May has better fangs than you."

"Does she now?"

"Mhmmm, she's part vampire bat!" I reached into my ninja bag, causing both men to tense. I grabbed my ever present box of pocky, pulling out two sticks. Breaking one in half, I made 'fangs' out of them, smiling at Kisame. "Shee?" See?

Itachi rolled his eyes. Kisame laughed loudly, shaking his head. "Are you sure you're a ninja?"

I scowled at him, "Of course I'm sure I'm a ninja! I just suck at ninjutsu, okay? It's not my fault... Well, actually it is, but still!" I crossed my arms over my chest, taking a bite of my pocky.

"Sure, sure." Kisame replied good-naturedly.

I huffed, drinking the rest of my coffee. "I'm a jonin, thank you very much!"

"I'm an S-rank criminal." Kisame raised his eyebrows, daring me me to beat that.

"I've been in this dimension for not even a fucking month, and I'm a jonin, training under Hatake Kakashi. I've also scared the hell out of every genin the Leaf has to offer."

"I'm one of seven swordsmen of the Mist. I scare the hell out of everyone," Kisame grinned, spinning Samehada in the air for effect.

A little cocky, now, aren't we? I'll show him! "I can do this;" I placed Aerie on the ground, and calmly proceeded to light myself on fire.

"So, there, ya damn fish stick!" I snarled, placing a hand on my hip. Aerie lunched herself at me, clamping onto my neck with her sharp fangs. "Da-! Dang it! Fine, I'll stop swearing. Get off me."

I switched to water, making Aerie land on the floor with a thud, hissing loudly. I looked down at her, smirking. "You so deserved that." I looked back at Kisame, who seemed to be in a state of shock. I flicked my fingers at him, water dotting his weird cloak thing. I didn't glance at Itachi, but my guess is that is was just as emotionless as his brother's.

My smirk grew, "So... I take it won this game." I twirled, switching to fire again, giggling to myself like a child as the sparks flew from my outstretched arms. "Pretty cool, yeah?"

"How are you doing that? That's not a jutsu..." I realized it was Itachi who spook.

I looked at him as my body gradually become normal. "That's true enough. It's no jutsu," I turned away from Kisame and Itachi, shrugging off both layers of shirts, leaving me only in a bra. I moved my hair to the side, revealing the large bat wings I had tattoo'd on my shoulder blades, and the scar that ran between them. I traced them with my fingers, making sure they got the point. "There are people, people from where I'm from... They like experimenting. To make 'better' humans, you know? There's this girl, her name's May, I saved her life once upon a time, and she's saved mine ten-fold. These sick bastards, they were tracking her, trying to get her back for more tests. I knew it was a risk traveling with her, and eventually they caught us."

Although my memories are still fuzzy and some of them have completely disappeared, the feeling of the cold seeping through my hospital gown and falling asleep on the hard floor of my cage isn't something I'm likely to forget.

I shrugged my tank top back on, covering the tattoos. I didn't bother with the lace shirt. Surprisingly, I didn't mind if they was the scars on my stomach, even though I haven't even shown Kakashi yet. "May, she was a mutant from birth. I was just an extra they got when they captured May. We escaped through, but we had to kill a whole hell of a lot of people. The Hokage tells me that Orochimaru does similar things in this world, right?"

I sighed, settling back into my spot next to the fire. Kisame watched me curiously, seeming to take in this new information. Itachi watched me with his indefinitely ruby colored gaze.

I blushed, laughing nervously. "I'm sorry. I just met you and I'm telling you guys my fucking life story."

"You're almost as bad as Hidan with the cussing, aren't you?"

I blinked, looking at the blue man in confusion. "Am I supposed to take that as a complement or an insult? Because I've never met this Hidan."

"Neither. It's just an observation, Lie." He chuckled, but something but his tone gave me the idea that it should've been an insult. I shrugged.

"Can I have some more coffee, please? Kakashi-kun doesn't think I should have coffee... Apparently, I'm hyper enough as it is and I don't need coffee. I mean, really? Isn't it a good thing for ninja's to have lots of energy? Plus, I make that ungrateful jerk breakfast! I could just let him sleep in all day and be later then he already is. Course then again... He probably doesn't like waking up to me in the morning."

"You talk a lot." Itachi noted. I smiled at him.

"Why wouldn't he be happy to wake up to you in the morning?" Kisame asked, pouring me another cup of coffee.

"I'm kind of an overly affectionate bitch. Very conflicting. He also doesn't appreciate how I wake him up. It's 'traumatizing' to wake up to the sound of numerous bombs going off," I rolled my eyes. "The Copy Cat of the Leaf is such a pansy."

"You're a bomber?" Kisame made a face.

Again, I showed them one of my tattoo's, this time the cluster of fireworks on the side of my thigh. "Not really. They remind me of my parents. They used to take me to see fireworks on the pier every year."

Kisame smiled slightly, making him almost seem... gentle. He was still frightening as all get out, but with that particular expression, I could see it. "Where are your parents now? You said you lived with the Copy Cat. Unless you're lovers?"

"KISAME-KUN! I'm only sixteen!" I lightly hit him on the arm, scowling. "No. My parents were both killed last year."

I looked up, noticing how dark it had become outside while we were speaking. "Watch this." I pulled out one of my sparklers, lighting it up with my lightening chakra. In my hand, it burst into a flurry of silvers and pinks, my two favorite colors. "Pretty, yeah? This one is my favorite."

I pulled out another favorite, colored with gold and red. I handed it to Itachi, smiling brightly. Handing Kisame a electric blue and white, I set them both off with a hand sign. "They're made to last about an hour each, so you can light the over and over. I made them all by hand. I'm not very good at making bombs for battle, but I'm pretty good at making these, if I do say so myself."

"Don't tell Deidara, but I think they're cute." Kisame looked at his partner, grinning wickedly.

I blew mine out, tucking it back into my specialized pocket on my left thigh, opposite the one that held my pocky and weapons. It was heat proof and fire proof, both of which are needed to carry around my little sparklers.

I had bigger fireworks, but I doubt the missing nin next to me would like a giant flare going off over our location.

"Night-night guys! I can do a shift of watch if you want." I yawned, settling down right where I was. I fell asleep sooner than they could reply.

* * *

Third person. No one's point of view.

"Is she really asleep?"

Itachi glanced at the pink haired girl, the gold and red 'sparkler' she had given him still burning brightly in his hand. "Yes. Her heartbeat slowed down."

His partner frowned, pawing through his backpack. "She said she's a jonin. Why's she letting her guard down around the Akatsuki?" He pulled out a blanket, placing it on the shivering girl's body, and lightly brushing messy pink hair out of her innocent face.

They would both admit she was pretty, but it was the way she spook and the honesty in her dark eyes was just fascinating about the young girl.

Itachi couldn't shake the feeling that he should know her from somewhere. Very odd, considering that she had apparently come from a different dimension. "Maybe no one told her to weary of rogue ninja's."

"She lives with Kakashi. He probably drilled it into her." Kisame stepped back, looking at his handiwork. The girl was now snugly tucked in and just close enough to the fire to get some of the warmth without lighting her long bright pink hair on fire.

Itachi almost smiled, seeing his partner show his affectionate side. This girl was definitely something. "You think Leader-sama would like to hear about her?"

"Do we really want to bring her into the Akatsuki?"

Itachi considered this, blowing out his bright sparkler. "If we trained her, she could be a good addition. Did you notice how fluid her movements are? Not to mention her speed. She didn't even need to use ninjutsu to surprise us."

Kisame nodded, sitting down next to the girl. "We're heading to the Land of Fire anyway, maybe we can trail her, see what she does for a few days. If Leader does have interest in her, maybe we should wait a few years. Let Kakashi teach her a little."

The Uchiha nodded. "I'll take first watch, you can have third."

Kisame blinked. "You're actually making her do a watch?"

He smirked, nodding at his shark like partner. Well, she offered, and it's a good test to see if she's a person that keeps her word to do something. If it did turn out that she was planning some sort of ambush, he and Kisame could easily kill the young konoichi without a single regret.


	5. Chapter 5! Meeting the Tsuchikage

**Becuase do speical request, here'. The next chpater, a day... EARLY. I know. I know. hold your non existant applause. Anyway, if anyone was like super OOC and you want to kill me for it, feel free. Just, don't like go all Hidan on me. "I WILL FUCKING SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN, BITCH!" Just none of that. **

**Oh, and it's rated T for a reason, there's going to be cussing. Sorry I'm FRICKING HONEST about the world! **

**I love you all! **

**Not in the creepy stalker way either! **

**I don't own Naruto, if I did, my corner list would be a lot shorter, becuase they'd already be there! **

* * *

After my night watch shift, which Itachi had woken me up for, I settled back down about five feet from the black haired missing nin. I had stayed awake my entire shift, which I was verying proud of, considering I've never done that before.

Most nights I settled into a tree and preyed of someone wanted me dead they'd be loud enough for me to hear them and kill them first.

Anyway, settling back down, I was a good _five feet _from Itachi. What I don't understand, is how five feet, became absolutely flipping meaningless sometime between one thirty and dawn.

I woke up literally curled into Itachi's side.

And surprisingly, I somehow didn't find this strange at all in my half asleep haze. I just made a little mewling sound and hide my face in his shoulder. One of my hands was clutching onto his cloak for dear life, the other was pressed against my chest, just above my heart. I felt... Safe.

Even more surprisingly, when I slowly blinked open my eyes, I realized that he was already awake and talking with Kisame. Well, actually, he was telling him that he was going to wake 'her' up, so he better shut up. I guessed he didn't want to wake me up?

"Itachi-san?" I mumbled, pulling my arm from his to wipe the sleep out of my eyes, "I thought I was..." I yawned, dipping my head forward. My forehead rested against his shoulder. "I thought I was over there." I finished, picking my head back up and pointing in the general direction.

Kisame chuckled, "You were serious about the overly affectionate thing weren't you? I'm not seeing the bitchy part yet, though."

I grinned lazily, looking up at the now light pink sky. I slowly pulled myself away from Itachi, who's perfect poker face was still completely in place, despite the fact mine was probably bright pink, giving away my embarrassment.

Shrugging into my lace top, which I had forgot to put back on before bad last night, I quickly prepared for my journey for Iwa in silence. I then brushed my loose hair, pulling it into a high ponytail with my lacy ribbon again. I grabbed Aerie last. No doubt my face was still red.

I was just cuddling with an S-rank criminal, for God's sake!

"Thank you both for allowing me to stay with you for the night. And not killing me," I grinned at Kisame for the last bit, winking sassily.

"I'm gonna go head to Iwagakure, so I guess, I can't believe I'm saying this to two missing S-rank nin, but I really hope I get to see you again." I bowed lowly, and without questioning my delusional idea, I darted forward, kissing Itachi lightly on the cheek. I had to jump to reach Kisame's cheek.

Like a true sixteen year old girl, I ran, using all my strength to push me forward. I lurched forward, everything around me suddenly moving in slow motion as I ran.

Even the great Uchiha and Kisame duo hadn't a snowballs chance in hell of catching up to me.

I giggled to myself. I'm a fricken idiot! I am a fricken idiot.

I just kissed two famous murderers! On the cheek, but still. Right? Holy crow! I mean, Itachi cold-bloodedly killed everyone in his clan single handedly, and from what I've heard, you have to kill you're sensei to become a swordsmen of the mist.

And I just kissed their cheek like a mother sending her children off to school.

Imagine what Kakashi would say if he knew! Oh. He would kill me, and then he'd bring me back just to kill me again. What if he found out it was not only an S-rank, but The Uchiha Itachi from Konohagakure!?

I snickered, slowing down a little bit. My chest rose and fell at a steady beat, which I fought to keep under control. If I kept up this pace, I'd reach Iwa before spruce up a bit before meeting the Tsuchikage.

The mountains were hard on me, being that this was the village hidden in the stone, the actual city was built into a huge mountain, a natural defense system.

I was sweating a little more than 'lightly' when I finally arrived, and the guards didn't make it any easier on me.

One of them smiled in what looked like an attempt for 'seductive,' but kind of gave me the creeps. The other nudged him, sneering. "And how can we help our fine little visitor from the Leaf?"

I pulled out my papers, suddenly wishing I still had Kisame and Itachi with me. These horny chunin wouldn't be acting so boldly if I had two huge infamous men backing me up.

I was careful to avoid any skin contact with the guards. I don't think hornyness is, like, contagious or some shi-something, but I'm not taking any fricken chances.

Go find me a blonde who'll be able to stand up to bitchy Lie-chan and still laugh and play fight with childish Emilie, and you'll have someone I wouldn't mind catching hornyness from. I wouldn't mind marrying that person, in fact.

I sighed, looking down at Aerie. She sensed my distress, curling her head closer to my hip bone protectively. If only she knew my sadness was coming from the inside.

May, although in denial, is totally in love. She's met her Perfect, the person destined to be her person perfect. Whether she admits it or not, she looks to him for comfort, and affection, and most of all security. And... I want that. I want to be able to stand tall for myself, but the option to rely on that someone when I need it.

"Miss Susaeki! I said you can go in!"

I snapped back to reality, grabbing the now stamped papers from the guard. "Oh, I'm very sorry. I was just, lost in thought, I guess." I tucked the papers back into my pouch, not looking up at the horndogs that 'protected' the village.

"Unless you want to stay with us for a little while, miss Susaeki?" The second growled lasciviously, trying to grab my hand.

I pretended to look appalled, placing a hand on my hip. "Are you familiar with the term 'Copy Cat of Konohagakure'? The man who has copied a thousand jutsu's? Kakashi of the Sharingan?" My eyes narrowed more with each nickname for my dear roommate.

"Are you prepared to deal with the consequences if he finds out you were flirting with _his lover_? Huh?" I snarled, really hoping he didn't mind being my self proclaimed lover, but even if he did, if it got these freaks away from me, it'd still be worth it.

Their stunned silence was enough to confirm that they were now thinking of all the stories they'd ever heard of my lazy ass roommate and all the way he could kill them if he felt threatened.

Walking away, I giggled, "Suckers."

I wondered around for a bit, locating the huge building of the Tsuchikage easily. I stepped into the downtown area, searching for a friendly face. One woman, with auburn hair and bright blue eyes, was selling dango, not my favorite, bit it'll do until I can find another pocky fix. I ate the last of it while running.

"Excuse me? May I have some dango?" I asked kindly, pulling out the correct amount of money, along with a nice tip. I handed it to her before receiving my dango.

The woman looked up, a sweet smile on her pale face. "Of course, may I ask where you are from? I don't remember any of our ninja being as pretty as you, my dear."

I have a sneaky suspicion that this was just the tip talking, but nonetheless, I fluttered slightly, smiling at the kind lady. "I'm sure that's not wholly true, but I come from Konoha. I'm actually pretty lost right now. Do you have any suggestions as to where I should stay?"

"Oh! The Anakee has a fantastic steam bath for all it's guests. I've heard it's wonderful, you must go there and tell me what it's like!" She clasped my hands in her excitedly, almost making me lose my dango. Now, _that_ would be a tragedy.

I nodded, "Of course! I've never had a steam bath either! Would you like to come with me, I'd rather not go alone... Although I am a jonin, I'm still a woman." I laughed lightly, removing my dango holding hand from hers.

I took a bite while I waited for a reply, noting that there was an ANBU watching us from the roof tops. Creep.

"Really!? You would allow me to come with you? You'd pay for me?" Her eyes shown with pleasure.

I would've had ice in my heart to shoot her down now. I nodded, smiling widely, "You may call me Lie. I'll be back in about an hour, right here, okay? And then we can go stay at the hotel."

I moved closer, as if telling her a secret. "To tell you the truth, I'm just a little jittery, I work by myself for missions you see, and earlier while I was traveling, I met a group of men that tried to... You know, because I didn't have anyone else with me." I added a fake shudder to this white lie, making sure to make it obvious enough for the pesky ANBU to see it from his or her perch.

Better safe and meek acting then interrogated, I always... Sometimes... Never say. Don't judge.

The woman's face showed her displeasure, gently placing a hand on my shoulder, "It's okay that you feel nervous. We women need to stick together! You may call me Kyoko, Lie-chan."

"Oh, thank you! I will see you in an hour." I rushed away, slower then I would normally run, but still fast enough to make it look like I had somewhere to go. I just hoped my hair wasn't a complete mess after all the running.

Getting closer to the Tsuchikage's tower, I noticed that most of the buildings seemed to be in various stages of fixing or looked newly built.

I had the feeling it wasn't a natural disaster either.

I landed lightly on the ground in front of the large building, scaring several random people who apparently weren't paying attention. Keeping in mind my hair is _hot fucking pink, _it was mildly pitiful for them not to notice me.

I sighed, leisurely walking into the imposing close, I could see even this had substantial damage to it.

Whoever the hell did this really wanted to get out with a bang didn't they? Dramatic exit sorta thing?

The lady at the entrance, sporting bright blonde hair and a stone village headband, escorted me to the door of the Tsuchikage's office.

I tapped my foot impatiently while I waited for him to finish briefing some other group about the outcome of their mission, which seemed very boring to me. I finished off my dango in the first thier seconds of waiting. S

ick of waiting, I pulled out a sparkler, lighting it up just to admire the pinks blending with the specially made silver. It had taken me three days worth of free time to actually develop the right mix of metals to make it that color, all the while Tsume pestered me about coming over for dinner. I swear the woman wants to hook me up with Kiba.

"Come in, jazé!" I heard him yell, just as another group walked out. The single female in the group scowled at me. I flicked her off, still holding my precious sparkler in my hand. I made sure only she had the time to realize what I had done, and then out my hand down, walking into the office with my head held high.

"Good morning, Tsuchikage-sama. How are you?" I asked politely.

He motioned for me to sit. "You are the konoichi the leaf sent? How old are you girl, jazé?"

I sat down gracefully, eyes carefully guarded. "I am sixteen, my birthday is in the fall, Kage-sama."

He blinked, looking down at my sparkler, "huh. You are a jonin, jazé? And you like... explosives? Sixteen..."

"Actually, Kage-sama, the sparklers I make don't explode, they stay like this for about an hour, and you can use them multiple times. They remind me of my parents. Would you like one?"

"You lost your parents, jazé?" He was a very perceptive man, picking up on my sadness so easily.

I nodded, searching through my pouch for the right one, finally I settled on the most cliché choice, I handed him one that would burn in varying shades of amber and light brown. Perfect for the Kage of the stone, right?

"I lost them almost a year ago... They died in an accident, so close to my home." I rested my sparkler on my heart, trying to fight back the sudden onslaught of tears.

What is it about kage's that make you want to spill your darkest fears and cry like a baby? Is that part of the job description? "Must have mythical fucking abilities to make anyone they come in contact with feel safe. If you don't, just give up now."?

Maybe not in those exact words...

A letter in front of my face made me look up. I smiled sadly, taking it from his grasp.

"Thank you, Tsuchikage-sama. I will be staying here for another day. I will protect this with my life."

He smiled crookedly, his old face wrinkling even more. "Enjoy yourself, young konoichi, jazé!"

I felt like I had been given special treatment leaving the room. Like maybe he doesn't usually treat people this way? Maybe it was just my imagination. I blew out my sparkler, tucking it back into my pocket. It occurred to me if I was going to keep giving everyone I met one of my sparklers, I would have to start making more. I am in the land of stone. They're bound to have better materials for sparklers then Konoha, yeah?

Probably cheaper too... Hmmm.

I'll have to look around before I leave tomorrow. Running at nearly my top speed, I met Kyoko shutting down her stand. "Let me help!" I chirped, grabbing onto one of the legs.

Kyoko looked up with a surprised smile, "You're early. Just let me do it."

I stepped back, allowing her to finish folding the rather large cart into a relatively small box. Maybe the entire village was magical.

"Lead the way!" I pointed in the general direction of wherever, grinning wickedly.

This is going to be amazing.


	6. Chapter six! Killing some rogues

So...

Maybe...

It wasn't in my best interest to go get a few drinks with Kyoko after lounging in the baths for a good two hours?

Yeah. Have I mentioned I'm an idiot before, haven't I?

Anyway, although I could ignore the splintering headache for the morning, managing to pick out several different metal's to make new sparklers with and finding another pocky salesperson, but starting my way back to Konoha was absolute hell.

Finally, I collapsed in a tree, complaining about how bright the sun was and yelling at the crickets to shut their legs- they make that annoying chirping noise with their legs, by the way. Don't go all Kakashi on me, you perverts.

Of course, I couldn't fall asleep in peace.

Oh, no. I had to pick just the right tree that attracted weirdos. I woke up right away, trying to spot where I had heard noise. It was hard for me to think straight, whether that's from my sleep induced haze, or the fact I'm hungover, I can't say.

Who's idea was it to give a sixteen year old alcohol? Next time I see Kyoko, I'm punching her, and eating all her delicious homemade dango without a second thought.

I looked down from my perch, seeing about five guys at the base, pointing up at my tree with mixed expressions.

I had a good idea of what they were all thinking however when one said, "It's a chick. I was her to up there about an hour ago. I betcha she's still asleep." He then licked his lips, which absolutely disgusted me.

I shivered, noticing that they all had headbands with the symbols scratched out. I wasn't exactly scared, although any normal human would've been. More the anything, I felt sick.

Its like that white lie I told Kyoko is coming back to bite me in the ass, isn't it? Aerie hissed lowly, glowing silver in the hazy moonlight. I slowly stood up, careful not to make anymore whatsoever. I jumped to another tree, wincing as it made a rustling noise. Damn my suckish ninjutsu skills!

I could just run.

But the thought of them targeting another girl like me, all alone in the woods made me sick. It was so not happening.

Taking out one of my bigger fireworks, I lit it, quickly chucking it at the group before a huge mind numbingly bright blue light flooded the area. I looked away, knowing it would blind anyone who looked directly at it for at least a few seconds, giving me the perfect opportunity to kill at least two of the five man group. I jumped down, tossing a few dozen water covered shuriken at the three on

the left as I lunged at the two on the right. I whipped out my machete, beheading one of the men with my poison laced blade. The second man was hit with the hilt of my heavy weapon to the base of the skull, instantly killing him.

Machete's were commonly used for hacking your opponents to death, rather than a quick easy death. They were relatively heavy, so you could get a nice amount of momentum to slam it into your enemies. One of the main points Kakashi had against me getting it was that it required a lot of strength to use properly. I threw him into a wall.

And that kids, is how I got my machete.

Knowing the effects of my firework would were off soon, I snuck up on another man, allowing Aerie to sick her formidable fangs into his neck. She remained there as the grown man dropped to his knees, moaning in pain.

I would imagine so, considering she was not only poisoning him, but also sucking his chakra out. Either way, Aerie would calm down for a few days, and he'd be dead.

I darted back into the my tree, knowing full well they could probably sense my chakra anyway. That's what I was counting on.

They did just as I expected, one going for a direct attack while the other snuck around to 'surprise' me.

As they threatened me for killing their friends, I sneered, yelling back, "And your so called friends got blood on my fucking shirt! You know how to get blood out of shirts? You don't, dumbass. So, because of your idiocy, I'll have to buy a whole new shirt!"

Seriously though. You know how hard it is to get blood out of hot pink?

While going on my little rant, I made the necessary hand signs to do my newest jutsu. "Lightening style, Aerie no jutsu!" I growled, thousands of tiny birds made of lightening appearing. I smirked.

Lightening just loved water.

Serves you right, I thought, as I lit up another sparkler, this time a pure gold color. The color of victory, dammit.

I sighed, sensing another two presences incoming. They both had rather large chakra levels, which although made me slightly nervous, I couldn't bare to move from my spot leaning against my tree.

Aerie, who had finished her dinner, lazily crawled to my resting body, curling in a similar fashion as I had with Itachi. Eh... God, I need to stop thinking about him. It's unhealthy to hold criminals in such regard. But he felt like May does.

He feels like home, like family.

"You sure they went over here?"

"Of course I'm fucking sure!" I blinked, unsmiling. Great. More weirdos to screw with my hungover sleep.

I simply glared as they burst into the small clearing, wearing the same exact cloaks Kisame and Itachi had on.

Fuck.

Is this like a punishment of some sort, God? Was I a very bad person in my past life or something? Come on. Do I have a built in frickin magnet that summons dangerous people to me for whatever reason?

"What the hell happened to them?" The man that had sworn earlier asked, looking at the devastation. He had silver hair and either purple or magenta eyes. He was tall compared to me, with his cloak unbuttoned to show off his little necklace and his- admittedly killer- abs.

I raised my hand lazily, "They were annoying me!"

The other one glanced at me, taking in my resting form. "Great. You did our job for us. Let's collect their bodies and go, Hidan." The second one had bright green eyes, but the white part I can never remember the name of was red. Scel- something or another.

"Like hell! I need to fucking kill something!" The silver haired one growled.

Wait. that name... I glared at him. "You're name's Hidan?"

"What about it, bitch?" Yep. It's him.

I shook my head, slowly climbing to my feet. "I'm going to fucking kill that fish stick for comparing me to you." I declared, absentmindedly stretching my arms over my head.

"Fish sick? You mean Kisame?" His partner asked, looking up from where he was checking all the bodies. Probably trying to identify them?

Nodding, I took out my box of pocky. "Yeah. Me, Itachi-kun, and Fishstick-kun all had coffee together... Two days ago... I think." I pursed my lips, talking another bite if pocky. "At least I think so. I got wasted in Iwagakure, so it could've been three..."

Hidan started laughing. "How fucking old are you, bitch?"

I tilted my head to the side, blinking cutely. "First, sweetheart, my name's Lie, you can call me Master. Second, do you have to swear in every fucking sentence? And third, I'm only sixteen, and I'm a jonin of the leaf. And as you can see here, I clearly have no problems killing people that piss me off. So, you better watch you damn mouth, sweetie pop!"

His partner chuckled to himself, glancing up at me for a brief second before going back to counting his money. I wonder if the men I killed had a bounty?

"Jashin-sama made me immortal, bitch, you can't fucking kill me!" Hidan smirked, clearly thinking he won this debate.

Oh. Please.

I walked closer, until we were almost touching, gazing up at him with the cutest puppy dog eyes I could make. "Babe, that just means I can kill you as many times as I damn well please." I pulled out my machete, pressing the broad side against his chest, smiling coyly.

Hidan's purple eyes widened, his lips pulling into a sly smile. Just as he was about to speak, I pressed my finger tips to his lips, quieting him. He was still very confused, but also excited by my sudden change in attitude.

"Now, won't that be fun?" I purred, biting my lower lip in mock anticipation.

Hidan had a mix between utter confusion and desire written all over his face. He reacted slowly, reaching out with one hand to grab my waist.

I jumped out of the way, sticking my tongue out. "You gotta catch me first, honeycomb!" Before darting away again, I turned, winking seductively at his angered and very frustrated expression.

I think we all know what kind of frustration he was facing, now don't we?

May would've been proud.

Meanwhile, not so far away, a certain blue man was cackling with laughter as he watched the situation unfold. His blacked haired partner watched with mild amusement on his face, already having picked up on Lie's plan before she had followed it through.

It made him extremely uncomfortable to hear her call him 'sweetheart' in that singsong voice of hers. Her voice is what most would call a bedroom voice, naturally low for a girl and, if the Uchiha were honest, sexy. It wasn't low enough it ever be confused with a boy's voice, but it had a smoothness that most girls couldn't ever attain. Their voices were just so high pitched.

Itachi sighed, hating how much he had thought about the insignificant pink haired konoichi over the past two days. He's witnessed hundreds of deaths in his life time, and yet just the idea that those dirty rogue's hands would touch her angered him to the point he wanted to be the one taking out those men.

Kisame looked at his partner worriedly, quietly wondering to himself when he would realize why he had been thinking so much of the girl. It wasn't that hard to imagine, really. All you had to do was look at their eyes.

Idiots. How much effort does it take to put the automatic protective instincts together with the exact same color, expressive eyes and get the right answer?

The shark turned back to the scene in front of him, where Hidan was currently growling about being teased and wanting to kill something.

"Let's go." Itachi decided, looking in the general direction of where Lie had disappeared.

"Shouldn't we tell Hidan not to kill her first?" Itachi sighed his agreement, both teleporting to the clearing where their fellow Akatsuki members were each complaining.

Kisame grinned, smacking Hidan violently on the back of the head. "You can't kill your 'master' Hidan. We're thinking she might be a good member."

"When the hell did you get here?"

"They've been here. They were trailing the pinkette." Kakuzu answered, wrapping the bodies in his tentacle string things. Although Kisame would never say anything, it kind of creeped him out. Hidan had needed his stitches to many times to really care.

Kisame nodded, "We spook with leader about it. Apparently, he's also heard about her. Back in the leaf village, they call her the Copy Cat's Sparkler. She lives with Hatake Kakashi, and," Kisame pulled put his sparkler, lighting it up with chakra. "She entertains the villages kids every night testing out her new fireworks."

"So, she's like the fucking female Deidara?"

Itachi shook his head. "Her fireworks aren't usually dangerous, and if they are in battle, they're distractions. She uses a machete."

Kisame frowned, "I thought Deidara already was a female?"

Itachi glanced at him, ignoring the Deidara comment. "There's a storm coming, we better go find her before she does something stupid"

The shark nodded, abandoning a now laughing laughing Jashinist and his money loving partner.

It was probably a good thing that Lie leaves such a strong trial of chakra, at least, for the people tracking her. Itachi decided chakra suppressing would be one of the first things he taught her, right after he drilled 'light sleeping' into her mind. Those rogues got way too close for comfort, especially considering she wasn't a bad looking young konoichi.

After chakra suppression, maybe a little work on being stealthy. The fluid movements she had down pat showed that she didn't need much work with taijutsu, although a lighter weapon would work better in her favor. Her main strength was speed, so having such a heavy weapon didn't do anything for her. She was very good at handling the machete, however.

"Did you see what she did with the shuriken?" Kisame easily picked up on Itachi's expression, knowing that meant he was trying a devise a plan.

"Hn?" The famous Uchiha 'Hn' people!

Kisame smiled, having caught something his powerful partner hadn't. "The shuriken she threw at the remaining three were covered in water. They weren't meant to kill, but so she would have a conductor for her lightening jutsu."

Itachi nodded, making a note she was good at making strategies out of thin air.

She also had to learn to say no when people she met earlier the same morning ask her to go out for drinks.

Thunder clapped above them.


	7. Chapter 7! Fever

**So, I updated earlier today, actually, and I forgot to leave an authoress's note thing! Sorry, about that. Anyhow, if anyone's a little OOC in this, it'd be Itachi, but that's explained in the next chapter, I SWEAR. **

**anyway, love you all. bye bye ^_^ **

**?Jerkasuarousrex! **

* * *

It was very stupid of me to keep running, even in the rain, for the entire three day trip that I had to make back to Konoha.

I should've just waited out the large storm system, but no. I was too stubborn.

Unsurprisingly, I showed up to the gate soaking wet, with a wicked fever. The two chunin I never bothered to learn the name of at the gate were sleeping when I arrived. I kicked them awake, not bothering to waste my horse voice.

"Hey, idiots. Go get Kakashi for me. Now." I ordered in my weak voice, my pink hair sticking to my burning forehead. I shivered, pulling Kisame's blanket closer to my body. He had packed it into my bag when I wasn't paying attention, I think. It still smells like him, though, which is how I know it's his.

The chunin both begrudgingly ran to get Kakashi for me, which I found funny. I would've laughed, if not for the fact it hurt to breath.

Apparently, I had interrupted a training session, because alongside Kakashi was the new group of genin he had started training. He told me about it before I left, but I guess they graduated while I was gone.

He had Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto on his team. I waved one hand, leaning against the gate for support. "Hey."

"Lie-chan! Are you okay? You look sick, believe it!" Naruto yelled, running to my side.

I scratched the back of my head nervously. "Yeah." I croaked, hand flying to my throat.

"You're a mess. What happened?" Kakashi scoped me into his arms. I relaxed slightly, knowing that overprotective Kakashi would be taking me to the hospital.

I pantomimed my throat, and pressed one of Naruto's hands against my forehead. He yelped, pressing another hand against my scarred stomach. "Sensei, she's burning up! We need to take her to the doctors!"

Sakura placed her hand against my forehead, not quite believing Naruto's evaluation. She made a sound similar to a squeal, "Kakashi-sensei, he's right!"

"No shit, Sherlock." I moaned, laying my head against Kakashi's chest.

"Ita-chan told me not to go out in the rain, but did I listen? No." I bawled, my voice scratching and uncomfortable. At least I knew not to go out and say 'Itachi-kun.' I didn't want to be killed by a genin anytime soon.

Kakashi chuckled. "Sasuke, you and Sakura go back to training. Naruto come with me."

"Kakashi-sensei! Why does Naruto get special treatment! I'm Lie-chan's friend too!" Sakura whined, scowling at her sensei.

"If you wanna carry her, than I guess you can come too?" Kakashi answered calmly.

He gently handed me off to Naruto, who carried me with some difficultly. Kakashi, you sick slave driver you.

I snuggled closer to Naruto's chest, noticing that even when I was feverish, he felt like a walking heater. "Susaeki..." Someone growled.

I jumped, my eyes flying open. Kakashi out his hand over my eyes, clearly saying 'calm down'. I struggled to listen for new sounds, trying to figure out who had said my name. My surname too, which I usually don't say out loud anymore.

"You don't remember your dear friend, Susaeki?" The same voice growled. I leaned more into Naruto, until he grunted in pain. Okay. No more moving. "Do not hurt my host, Susaeki."

A new voice entered, one that sounded scarily like my own, "Now, Kyuubi, watch your muzzle. She is merely being affectionate towards him, it is not her fault he can't handle it." She purred cheekily.

The male voice roared, growling, "Do not test my temper, Susaeki. Your clan has fallen out of power."

"Now, we both know that's not true. Princesses never 'fall out of power,' they simply wait for a better time to act upon it. You should know this, Kyuubi." She chided teasingly, sounding exactly like I do.

"Kyuubi?" I whispered, sudden memories rushing to the surface.

_It was me, my hair still blond, my eyes a glowing silver. On my head was a stunning silver crown, red rubies decorating the sparkly surface. It was clearly inspired by trees, as the metal bent around itself at jagged edges, the stones caught in the middle like a forbidden fruit. _

_I had on a perfectly white gown, with what looked like actual diamonds encrusted into the bust and dotting the flowing skirt. _

_A man smiled at me, telling me sweetly, "Monkey, you look adorable, in a beautiful kind of way." He had a traditional kimono on, a deep blue that complemented his dark eyes and hair perfectly. He had also refused to take out his ponytail, I noted, making sure to remember to pull it out later. I liked it better when it was down. _

_I laughed, tilting my head to the side in the mirror and making a face at the man I love. "I told you not to call me that! And get out. You know you're not supposed to see your bride before the wedding! It's bad luck." _

_"Fine. Fine, just hurry up, Princess Monaki." He smirked, fluffing my hair. I quickly moved forward, standing on my tiptoes to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek. _

_'I'm in love with an idiot,' I thought fondly, leaning away when he tried for another kiss. "Rushing me does not quicken time itself, Izuna!" I snapped. _

_My fiancé walked out of the room, while I turned back to the mirror, trying unsuccessfully to right the damage he had caused my intricately styled hair. _

_I sighed, glancing at the door as yet another uninvited guest came into my room. _

_My friend and fellow konoichi, Kiku. "Are you not ready yet?" She asked quietly, brushing my hands out if the way. Her bright red hair was down, falling to the back of her legs. Her dark blue eyes were framed in silver makeup and nude lips, a far cry from her normal sparkly black eyeliner accompanied by bright red lipstick. The little whisker marks were the only thing that gave away her inner fox demon. _

_Kiku tended to be on the quite side, aside from when we went on missions, in which case she suddenly became Kiku the seductress. She quickly righted my hair, complaining under her breath of annoying Uchiha's. _

_"I still don't understand what you see in this boy," she teased gently, slowly twirling in her maid of honor's dress. _

_I scowled, "I don't see what you have against him." _

_"I'm against the idea of men in general. Girls are so much prettier." She snickered. _

_I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, but you can keep that to yourself." I gave her a quick hug, shoving her out of the room. _

_It was my show time._

My head pounded, another memory flashing before my eyes.

The Kyuubi's voice echoed just before I succumbed to the past, "Susaeki, be careful. I shall speak with you again." The world faded to black.

_"Akito! Stop. Don't let him do this to you, listen to me, please." I sobbed, clutching my still chubby stomach. _

_My first mission since giving birth to my second child, Hana. Shisho wasn't very happy about getting a sister, but I loved them both to pieces, along with my perfect husband. Anyway, it was supposed to be a regular 'check on this' mission, and somehow we had ended up finding a very out of control Jinjuuriki of the one tails, Shukaku. _

_"Get away!" My friend Akito yelled, clutching his head in pain. "Get away! I don't want to hurt you!" _

_I resisted as Kyo started dragging me away, "No. Under the name of the princess, release me! I need to speak with Shukaku." I screeched, ripping myself away from my teammate. _

_There was a loud growling noise as I walked closer, my friend now completely overpowered by the bloodthirsty demon. I stood tall, tilting my head back to stare him down, my Susaeki silver eyes locked onto his. "You need blood." _

_He snarled in reply, sand whipping around my ankles. _

_I laughed, tilting my head to the side. "Make me a deal, Shukaku. You gat the blood of one of the strongest clans ever known Princess, and then you promise to go back into your little cage." _

_He seemed to consider this, pausing in his steady waving movement of his tail. "And what if I just kill you and continue my rampage?" _

_I giggled, causing the tailed beat to roar. "Shukaku-chan, we both know I can never truly die... And we both know if you break a promise to an immortal, it'll come back to bite your little tail off. Of course, there's no guarantee I won't anyway," I smirked, tapping my hand against my recently broken would've made more sense if it were my foot, but it was now wholly in asked in the surprisingly soft sand. _

_"...Fine. I will accept your sacrifice." Shukaku lunged forward. _

_I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry, my baby." The sand closed around me, oddly soft as it squeezed all the life out of my short reincarnation. _

_I had only live to twenty seven this time. I hadn't even the time to watch my babies grow, to tell them why they get these strange visions._

"NO! No, no, no! You can't!" I screamed, my voice harsh sounding and vicious. "My baby." I whimpered softly, hiding my face in my hands as irrational tears started pouring.

"Damn you, Shukaku! Why? My baby, left all alone!" I cried, collapsing in on myself. I didn't have the energy to fight it as another memory started.

_"They are targeting you. They're afraid of our ability. We must, we must use that jutsu."_

_My brother sent me a pained look, "How do we know if we'll come back? If we can ever come back? What if we aren't reincarnated in that world?" _

_I shook my head, dingy blond hair falling into my eyes. It was soaked in water and blood. "It's the only way to protect our family. We must save the future generation before they track us down, and the only way we'll all be safe is if we do this." _

No more memories came after that, but the image of my beautiful baby girl was still stuck in my head. Her pale blonde hair and black eyes gazing up at me lovingly, still to young to realize what being a Susaeki really meant.

My Hana. My innocent little Hana, left to my husband to be raised without a mother. I left everyone I loved without me, didn't I? No. No no no.

I whimpered loudly, "Izuna..." I cried, slamming my head against the wall. "Mine! My Izuna!" My tears came for no other reason than the knowledge that he was dead.

My Izuna, my husband was dead. "No!" I screeched, trying to pull out my hair again.

"Stop, baby girl. Stop," a gentle voice coaxed, locking my hands in her steal grip.

"Emilie, listen to me. Calm down, it's going to be okay," May whispered, wiping away my tears. I dove into her arms, bawling with all my heart.

Finally, I was able to calm down enough to tell her, "My Izuna i-is de-dead. He's be-been d-dead for y-years an' an' I didn't even n-know!" I hiccuped, trying very hard not to get thrown into a another round of tears.

"Shhh. It's gonna be okay." She covered my ears with her hands, trying to block out noise as she yelled at the top of her lungs, "KAKASHI-SAN. Get over here, now!"

I whimpered as another loud noise was made. "What's going on?" Kakashi asked slowly. My Izuna...

"Monkey! Come here," his voice sounded so real. The overwhelming wave of longing that followed nearly killed me.

I cried harder. "M-my memories came back." Blindly, I pulled away from May, not even comprehending what I was doing until I was half way out of Konoha.

I kept running, running so fast that no on would have a chance of catching me. I tripped after about half an hour of non stop running. I landed at an awkward angle, hurting both my left wrist and my left ankle.

The sickening snap of my ankle chilled me to the bone, but I kept running, ignoring that I was probably making it worse.

I ran until I couldn't move, when I slumped into a ball on the forest floor, alone with my misery.

"I told you it was a good idea to follow her."

"I wonder what happened."

I whimpered, crawling into the lap of whoever I was leaning against. "Izuna." I mumbled, tears starting again. "Mine." I cried, throwing my arms around Itachi's waist.

My ankle was throbbing, but I easily pushed that to the back of my mind.

"Tell Kisame what's wrong." Itachi instructed, tilting my head up.

I refused to open my eyes, knowing that something would be very wrong if I did. "My memories came... my memories came back, from my past lives. That's what my clan does, they're reincarnated. I remembered... all the times I died, all the times I had to leave the people I love. Like my Izuna. I left him all alone, and they killed him!" I told them, still keeping my eyes shut securely.

"Why did they kill him, Itachi-kun? Why did he have to die!?" I bawled, hiding my face in his cloak.

Kisame placed his hand on my back, "Everyone dies sometime, Lie-kun."

"B-but why don't I stay dead? I don't wanna live without Hana, and Shisho, and my Izuna!" I sought out the comfort I had earlier with Itachi, but nothing disrupted the pain.

"We should take her back to the base. It's safer than out in the open." Kisame offered, taking his hand off my back.

Itachi must've nodded, because I felt myself being picked up. Itachi held me against his chest much like a football, and started running to wherever this base was.

I still didn't open my eyes, fearing that my memories would be right. Fearing that it would not be my eyes looking back at me.

I fell asleep in Itachi's arms, sometime while heading to their so called base.


	8. Chapter 8! Aftermath

**BOOM. **

I was startled awake, the sound of a bomb going off breaking all peace I had.

"Dammit, Deidara." A familiar voice sighed. I felt something wrap around my wrist, pulling it out from under me. "I know you're awake, your heartbeat sped up," that voice told me.

I slowly raised my head, blinking rapidly at all the new colors. I could see purple and blue and a very cheerful yellow.

Sitting in front of me, was the man that was traveling with Hidan. Without his cloak on, I could see that he had an absolute ton of stitches all over. Also, the thing that wrapped around my wrist? Looked like it came come him. It was a weird black color, with yellow overlaying it.

His eyes widened. "Leader-sama, Itachi-san, you guys will want to see this." He yelled, reaching forward to touch the side is my face. I knew this before he even started the movement, which gave me some time. I tried to scotch away, wincing in pain when I moved my foot.

"Please, don't move Lie-san, you put a lot of strain on it during your little adventure to no where." He said gruffly.

Nodding slowly, I relaxed slightly. "W-why does everything look weird?"

He shrugged. "You don't my name yet, right?" I shook my head. "Call me Kakuzu," he told me, holding out his hand.

I reached out, shaking it with a tiny smile on my face. I also realized Aerie was asleep on my wrist. She must've been clinging to me this whole time.

Itachi burst through the small door, causing me to jerk away like a scared child. Unsurprisingly, though, Kisame came in afterward, looking a lot like a worried mother.

I noticed they both had different colors swirling inside them. Huh.

Itachi's eyes swept over my figure, a pleasant smirk on his face. He stopped at my eyes, expression flickering between confusion and awe.

I waved, just now noticing that my left arm had a splint on it. My ankle had a soft cast. I looked back at Kakuzu, tilting my head to the side. "Kakuzu, were you the one that splinted my arm?"

"Sasori made it for you," He shrugged. "I just put it on."

"Oh, thank you! I'll have to thank Sasori too. And you guys, Itachi-kun and Kisame-chan! Thank you very much for saving my life... again." I scowled lightly, realizing how weak I sounded.

"Itachi-kun, why are you looking at me like that? I'm okay, well, aside from everything looking funny," I tilted my head to the side.

"Y-you have the Sharingan." The great emotionless Itachi just stuttered? What is the world coming to?

Wait.

Dammit. Did he just say I have the Sharingan?

I blinked, looking around for a mirror. I spotted one on the far side of the room, next to a sink. I tried standing, and was pleased to see I could. Kakuzu frowned at me, sighing.

Ignoring him, I hobbled to the mirror, using my good arm as a support. Itachi seemed to get over his shock, and wrapped one arm under my shoulders, helping me stay upright.

I glanced in the mirror, knowing exactly what I'd see there. What I didn't expect was a clean face and brushed hair, however. Also, someone had loaned me a shirt, which was big enough to show some of my cleavage and dropped down to just above my knees.

The worst though, my eyes were now blood red, one with two tomoe and the other with the full three. Creepy. Just _plain out_ Creepy.

"How do I turn 'em off?" I asked, looking up at Itachi. He blinked.

"How did you get them in the first place?" Another voice cut in.

I turned, meeting the purple eyes of the newcomer. How I didn't sense him, I'm not sure. "Eh... Just sec. Ita-kun, can you help me get back to my bed? My leg hurts."

Itachi nodded, carrying me quickly to the bed. I looked back at the new guy, noticing her many piercings he had all over his face. Weird.

I took a deep breath. "Okay, umm. I guess the best place to start is asking if you've ever heard of the Susaeki clan?" Everyone shook their heads. "Damn... well. My clan doesn't really have a kekkei genkai, but we do have a clan only thing. Our princess is reincarnated every new generation, or just after she is killed. Understand up to here?"

The purple eyed man nodded. I grinned. "So, this 'Princess' she only gets her memories back after a certain time, or coming in contact with someone from a past life. So, if she were to run into, say... That son of a bitch Shukaku. That would've triggered it. This time, it was communicating with the nine-tails.

"And getting all my memories shoved onto me caused me enough stress to trigger my Sharingan." I concluded.

Kisame spook up this time. "That doesn't explain how you got the Sharingan gene."

The blush spreading across my face was probably very noticeable. "Uhh. Well, you see along time ago, I married an Uchiha, and when two people love each other veeeeerrrrry much..." I clapped my hands together, giving Kisame a look of a caring preschool teacher. "They do a special handshake and BAM. You have yourself a baby."

I pointed to Itachi, smirking, "You know, I'm like your great great great aunt. Creepy, yeah?" I patted my leg, where I usually kept my ninja pouch.

My eyes widened. "Hey. Where is my stuff? I need that! I'm going to go through withdrawal!"

"Shush. Which Uchiha did you marry a long time ago?" The purple eyes guy asked.

"My Izuna."

"Your's?" He raise his eyebrow. Questioning my possessiveness. Loser.

I shrugged. "My husband. He called me Monkey." I smiled happily, remembering my lover. It was strange to think the word lover, considering I'm a virgin. Ha. I'm probably the most experienced virgin ever.

...

Anyway. My stomach growled. I scowled. "Itaaachiii-kun, take your dear old aunty to wherever y'all keep your food. I'm hungry."

Kisame chuckled. Itachi looked at the purple guy, "May I, leader-sama?"

Leader-sama nodded, heading for the door. "Wait!" I shouted, holding out my hand as of to stop him.

He turned, eyes narrowed. "I wanted to say thank you. I would've died out there." I smiled thankfully.

The man's expression flickered, sending me a small smile. "Sure."

I turned back to Itachi, holding my arms up. He rolled his eyes, picking me up gently.

What is up with ninja's and feeling the need to carry me? I mean, before this last month I've probably only been princess carried like this by May, while we were flying.

I looked over Itachi's shoulder at Kisame, motioning for him to come too. We, well, Itachi walked to the kitchen with me in his arms, both with our Sharingan active.

There was a blonde boy in there, along with a red head and a man in a swirly orange mask. Only the masked one looked up as we walked in, the other two too busy arguing with each other. The colors made me dizzy. For some reason though, I knew the blondes' name was Deidara.

Itachi slowly out me down on the floor, making sure I didn't hurt myself. "I'll go get your stuff. Don't kill anyone." I somehow turned off my Sharingan as he spook.

The masked guy jumped up and down when he saw me, "Pretty girl-chan!"

He went to give me a hug, which I backed away from. "Nope." I quickly moved to the other side of the table, grabbing Kisame's hand and yanking him in front of me.

The masked man wrapped his arms around the shark, giggling like mad. I laughed along with him, noticing Kisame's disgusted expression.

"That's what you get for comparing me to Hidan!" I told him, placing my injured wrist on my hip.

He laughed, shoving the masked boy...-man? Off of him. "When did I compare you to Hidan?"

I huffed, rolling my eyes. "Right before I got drunk in Iwa. Don't try to act dumb. I'm older than everyone in this room, combined. Now, where do you keep everything?"

"Combined, un? You're like the same age as me, yeah!"

I turned my black gaze the blonde boy. "Nope!" I popped the 'p' laughing. "I'm immortal. I get reborn every time I die. Technically speaking though, this body is sixteen." I moved, shuffling around through the cupboards, looking for something to eat.

"Here," Itachi handed me my stuff, which I promptly set on the table after taking out my box of pocky.

"Thanks, nephew, dear." I replied cheekily, turning away from him. My eyes widened. "You know," I tilted my head back, looking at Itachi upside down, "I'm my own grandmother. That's super creepy, yeah?"

"You making fun of me, hmm?"

"Pretty girl-chan?"

I'm very good at ignoring people. I grabbed box of pasta, looking for a pan. It's figures the top shelf had what I'm looking for. I sighed, hopping into the counter. I had to sift through everything to find the right one.

While up there, I suddenly got that prickly feeling that I'm being watched.

Of course, I'm a jonin, so, _obviously_ I did a very ninja move.

I grabbed the first pan my hand touched and spun around, hitting however was watching me right in the face. The masked guy landed on the floor with a thud. Ow.

"Well. That worked out." I deadpanned, string at his immobile figure. "Is he a natural stranger danger, or is it just me?"

Kisame snickered. The blonde boy was laughing hysterically. I got the impression he didn't like the masked dude. I giggled, covering my mouth with my hand.

I jumped off the counter gracefully, still clutching my pan tightly in my hand. The masked man was in my way to the stove, which was very annoying. I looked at Kisame, who just shrugged.

Scowling, my hand set on fire. It was harder to make it one spot instead of my entire body, but it wasn't had uncomfortable as say... stone.

I crouched down, poking the hyperactive boy with my flaming hand. His reaction was instant, jumping out of my way to scream about Tobi being too hot.

I snickered, moving into the place he had vacated. First, water. Holding the pan now filled with water, I struggled with my injured arm. Second, I finally got to start the boil, and then looked for bread. If I was doing Italian, I'm going all out.

Kisame settled down in a chair next to the red head, who looked to be messing with a puppet arm.

Puppet arm. Splint...

"Hey! You're Sasori-san, right? The one that made me this splint?"

The red head looked up, nodding silently. I smiled, "Thank you, Sasori-san. It was very sweet of you. My name's Lie." I found a loaf of what looked like French bread. Weird.

"Isn't Lie a boy's name, un?" The blonde interrupted rudely.

"I thought Deidara was a boy's name too, looks like we both stand corrected, un." I snapped back, crossing my arms over my chest in annoyance. Aerie twitched, not liking this. I put my arms back down anyway to start making the garlic butter for my famous garlic bread.

Deidara growled, looking very irritated. Mission accomplished. He opened his mouth, about to tell me off, when a very annoyingly familiar voice interrupted yelling, "Why the hell is Tobi running around yelling about being hot?"

I smirked, yelling back, "Hey, Hidan! Master's in the kitchen!"

I popped the butter covered bread in the oven, smirking slightly. Leaning against the counter next to Kisame, I waited for the imminent pissed off Hidan by eating pocky.

"Psstt. Kisame! Did you finish off the rest of your sparkler yet?" I asked out of boredom.

"No, Itachi did though."

I nodded, hearing the sound of running getting closer. Hidan jumped into the room, scowling.

I waved, grinning devilishly. "Hey, babe. Whatcha been up to?"

He groaned, looking at Kisame. "Please tell you did not invite that bi-" Aerie let out a feral hiss, a clear warning for him not to finish that. "You didn't invite Master into our fucking base."

"Are you still mad I left you high and dry, sweetheart?" I purred, petting the top of Aerie's head.

"Damn straight, I am!" He shouted back, taking a step closer.

_Piss off two members of the awkward cloak club_, check! Let's see if I can go for three.

I made my eyes water. "Hida-chan... Please don't be mean.." I pouted, looking down at my feet. You could feel the room drop in temperature as all the men glared at Hidan. I fought back my laugh, trying to keep up the weak and fragile facade. At least for like two more seconds.

Hidan moved closer, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Hey... I didn't mean to... hurt your feelings, I guess." He said awkwardly, shifting uncomfortably under the harsh glares of his teammates.

I looked up, my Sharingan blazing, and smiled sweetly, "It's okay."

He didn't have time to react as I did a quick backhand spring, hitting him squarely with a perfectly placed uppercut using my good foot. Of course, it happened so fast that to everyone else in the world it looked like I had forgiven him, and then he was flying through the air, and I was five feet away and balancing on my one good hand.

"Hahaha. Kisame-kun! Ita-kun! Look, look, look! I'm balencing on my hand," I giggled, using only my fingers to keep myself upside down. My shirt bunched up around my chest, so I knew all my scars were showing, but I didn't care.

What I didn't account for was my tattoos being on display, including the fireworks Deidara was currently eye raping.

"Deidara! It's rude to stare!" I growled, placing my other hand on the ground so I could land my flip. Deidara's face had turned a bright red. I smirked, looking behind him, to see Hidan climbing to his feet.

"I fucking deserved that, right?"

"Yes, yes, you did." I nodded calmly, bending my wrist out. Ouch.

"How the fuck do you have Itachi's freaky eye thing?"

Now, everyone looked up, apparently expecting me to use my Sharigan just for the hell of it. "I'm his great, great, great, great aunty Princess Susaeki. He's technically my nephew." I shrugged, flashing bright red eyes.

"So. You're a princess too."

"Technically speaking." I stirred my pasta. "I've also been killed. A lot. You know Shukaku left my Hana and Shisho without a mother. That bloodthirsty bastard. Not to mention my dear Izuna, he was mortality wounded just after our first anniversary. I was three months pregnant. I named her Izula Susaeki. I lived until she turned thirteen in that lifetime, and was killed by one of our many enemies."

I sighed, still stirring the pasta. "You guys like meat in your spaghetti? Cause I'm a vegetarian."

"What the hell is spaghetti?" Hidan poked my shoulder blade.

"Shut up, slave." I ordered, flicking boiling hot water at him.

Hidan howled in pain, glaring at me fiercely. "Why are you so fucking abusive? You're not spraying Deidara with hot water and kicking him in the face!"

"Don't act like you don't like it, you machinist. 'Sides, Deidara is Deidara." I teased, grabbing a kunai from my pouch to open the cans of tomato.

"What does me being Deidara have to do with Hidan's messed up sex life, un?" The blonde asked, looking up from where he was... Rifling through my firework pouch.

_Classy_. Real classy.

I sighed picking up one of the sticks he had laid on the table, and making a one handed hand sign, lit it. It was one of my new ones, a bright electric pink mixed with a cotton candy blue. It wasn't my favorite, but who cares.

I then handed it back to Deidara, who was watching it with childlike wonder written on his face.

Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. "How'd you do that, un?"

"It reacts my chakra. I got the mica from Iwa..." Kisame glared at me weakly. "Right after I got wasted, of course." I added on, smiling cutely.

"You... Got wasted in Iwa, hmm?"

"Mhmm! You missed it Dei-kun! I'm a hilarious drunk. Just ask Hidan," I pointed to the sulking silverette.

"Shut your damn mouth, bitch!" He snarled back. He did not just call me a bitch.

"You're immortal right? So, poisons wouldn't kill you?"

"I've tried." Sasori replied, shooting the immortal in question a glare. I held out my right hand, nodding at the snake to have at it. Aerie sprung from my wrist, her fangs clamping down on Hidan's neck.

"Have fun. Don't suck out all his chakra, Aerie. It's mean." I instructed, turning back to my pasta.

"I'll sacrifice you to Jashin!" Hidan growled, trying to catch the white snake.

"That'll be a new one! I've never been sacrificed before. Well, to Jashin. Again, bloodthirsty bastard Shukaku, violent rampage. Not pretty." I laughed, flipping the stove top off.

I tried unsuccessfully to pick up the pot, my injured arm having been more affected by my little circus trick earlier than I thought. "Can one of you help me? My arm doesn't want to work."

"You fractured the bone, and tore the muscle tissue. Of course it doesn't want it work. Brat, go help her." I didn't need to look at him know Sasori was rolling his auburn eyes, and probably waving his hand in the air at Deidara.

Deidara lightly pushed me out of the way, grabbing the pan for me. I held the strainer as he poured all the water into the sink. "Set it down on the counter? I'll get the plates."

The blonde nodded, mumbling to himself. I caught the words 'jackass' and 'Danna.' Deidara ducked just in time to dodge a senbon needle dripping with poison aimed at his main arteries.

_Cute_, I thought dryly.

"Thanks Dei-kun. Thanks Sasori-san for yelling at him to do it. I would cover your ears, by the way."

I cupped my hands in front of my face, making a microphone. "OKAY, IT'S DINNER TIME, SO GET YOUR SORRY ASSES OVER HERE!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, Deidara wincing slightly.

I warned him. I picked up four more sparklers, placing them in them empty vase in the middle of the table. I lit them up one by one, smiling as each one flickered to life. Placing the huge pot of spaghetti in the middle of the table, right next to the loaf of garlic bread, I smiled happily.

'Patient' is not a word in my dictionary. I tapped my foot, watching everyone file in. There were still several I didn't know, excluding the boy... man thing I assumed was Tobi.

I set down plates for everyone, grinning to myself. I missed making big dinners like this, after my parents died all five of my siblings were sent all over the country to various aunts and uncles, while I stayed in our hometown renting my own apartment.

The only ones I cooked for then were Eric, my neighbor, and later May. Actually, Eric and May are still dating, I think.

"Pretty girl-chan?" Tobi whined.

I blinked, smiling apologetically, "Sorry. I was thinking about... May."

"The chick you got the wings with?" Kisame inquired.

Nodding, I laughed. "Yeah. And every other tattoo I have with. She's my best friend." I then remembered the ball the energy I had in my pouch. "You guys wanna meet her?"

Leader-sama shook his head. "Not right now, Lie-hime."

I pouted, "Yes, Leader-sama." I glanced at everyone else, "Anyway. I made dinner for y'all, so... Eat!"

"Pretty girl-chan is a princess?"

"Technically, un." Deidara mocked, reaching for a piece of garlic bread.

None of them saw the kunai until it was lightly slicing Deidara's left arm open. I was innocently looking down at my feet, where Aerie calmly waited to be picked up. Looks like Hidan couldn't catch her. Not that I doubted her.

When I looked back up, Sasori, Hidan, Kisame, and Tobi were laughing, while Deidara glared at me. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Stop flirting." Itachi's eye twitched, looking between Deidara and me.

"We're not flirting, yeah!" We both shouted. I glared at him.

"Ah. Young love." The only other female in the room sighed. Leader-sama called her Konan.

"Please... Please, don't say that. It's traumatizing." I begged, shooting Deidara another glare.

I glanced around the table, noticing that both Sasori and a man that looked sorts plantlike were not eating. "Uh.. I don't know your name, but would you like me to make anything else for you? I noticed you weren't eating, and I know some people don't like vegetarian cooking." I bite my bottom lip.

The plant man glanced at me, "No, thank you. **I like meat. **We're called Zetsu."

Is it just me, or does this guy have two voices? And what's with the plural? I smiled anyway. "What kind of meat?"

Zetsu grinned, sending shivers down my spine. "We're cannibalistic. **You.**"

My eyes widened.

"Oh... Do you guys have a preference too? Because May likes O negative... And brunettes." I recovered quickly, thinking of my best friends vampiric tendencies. She doesn't kill them, she just sucks their blood until they pass out and sometimes erases their memories. "She's a vampire bat-human hybrid," I added on.

"Cool. **Is she cute?**" Zetsu smirked.

I blinked, activating my Sharingan just for the fact it's intimidating. "Again. She likes brunettes." I thought about it for a second. Actually...

"Which is weird, considering she always ends up biting some poor blonde. All her boyfriends are brown haired though, excluding Tweetie. But she just likes him because his blood is delish. Bird-hybrids are sweet tasting apparently, which I can personally can't argue with, considering I made out with Jake that one time in the hospital. Good times." I sighed the last bit, much to the entire Akatsuki's chagrin. Deidara looked annoyed.

I was rambling. "At least she's not like Nick though, I mean, he's already engaged and with a child. Nick is May's other triplet, by the way. I wouldn't know if he's a good kisser, I bet he is, from what Rocky tells me. Course, she's pregnant with his _second_ child right now, so I guess he's good at a lot of things. Hmmm.." I pursed my lips, realizing that sounded perverted.

I giggled, biting my bottom lip. "Anyway! That's where I got most of my scars, you know? Because while I was traveling with May, we got captured... And I was just a 'weak full human', so they did tests and stuff.

"May always protected me though, she'd always fight back against them, so they'd punish her and leave everyone else alone. She did the same thing for her brothers when they were growing up. May has more scars than Kukazu!" I traced the scars on my stomach, knowing that some of them, the deeper one's were actually from me.

Before I met May.

Before I got better.

I yawned, covering my mouth with my hand like a lady. It didn't help when I made my yawning 'kitten noise' as May so tactfully called it.

Pein smirked, "Itachi, take her to the empty room across the hall from yours and Kisame's. She's tired."

The ravanette nodded silently, standing up. Itachi refused to let me walk, simply picking me up. Much like my first day in Konoha, I fell asleep in his arms.

I seen to be doing this a lot lately.


	9. Chapter 9! May-May's flirting antics!

**Okay, so you get some May/Lie time! Yeah!** **Anyway**, **I almost died, like two seconds ago. If you watch the news, you'd know there's a HUGE fucking storm system over Michigan, and it just so happens that I live right there. Anyway, the lightening hit one of the branchs on the oak right next to my window, and I thought ****_I was going to die._**** I gave myself a heart-attack. **

**Hidan; You deserve it, fucking bitch! When was the last time you updated?**

**May; Shut it, blood whore!**

**Me; Why are you guys even here? Don't you have something better to- ehh. Never mind. I don't want to know. **

**Disclaimer! I don't own Naruto, if I did... Well, let's just say, Dei and Sasori-Danna would send a lot more time in dark corners. ^_^**

* * *

Third person point of view.

The small batgirl blinked back her fatigue, knowing it was just because she just fed. Her fangs retracted back, allowing her to put her pale silver snakebites back in. She had gotten them about three months ago, just before the final attack when she sent Emilie to a different dimension using her Perfect tie.

At the time, May figured it would just teleport her to some other country, and somehow she ended up in the ninja-verse. It was very uncommon for that to happen, actually, but its not the first time.

She missed her friend terribly, but even if she were able to bring her back, May wouldn't dare. Everyone deserved to find their Perfect and if Emilie's was in an alternate reality, then so be it. The world May knew was falling apart anyway. At least this way, she wouldn't be in danger of sending the rest of her life in a cage like she was traveling with the bat.

The batgirl in question took out her phone, noting that her nineteenth birthday was only four days away. Her first birthday with no one to celebrate with. Both her brothers were probably celebrating with their girlfriends, and in Nick's case, with his nine month baby girl Lily.

Even her many friends who happen to be boys are busy. Vic was at a competition in Wyoming, even though he promised. Evan was doing whatever he does. Tweetie was playing jailbreak with Clinton, and Eric was 'too busy' at collage to hang with his girlfriend. Bunch of jerky _losers_.

_I don't need them to have fun my birthday. It'll be fine,_ she thought crossly, settling down on the earthen floor Indian style.

May closed her eyes, concentrating on finding Emilie's strand of energy. The small girls soul was then ripped from her body, pulled into the ninja world.

Emilie was peacefully sleeping in a bed. May smiled, crawling under the blanket next to her. _I guess this works out,_ May thought happily, cuddling closer to her best friend. The girl could hear noise somewhere else in the area, but she ignored it.

The two girls tangled together for warmth, Lie recognizing May's cherry blossom and woodsy smell in an instant. After getting comfortable, with May laying her head on the crock of Lie's neck, Lie's arms thrown over her friend haphazardly bringing them closer, they both fell back asleep, Lie mumbling "Hey."

Meanwhile, the Akatsuki were arguing about who dared wake her up.

"She's a self-proclaimed bitch in the morning." Kisame announced mock wisely. Itachi glared at him.

Everyone else paled, remembering the kick in the face Hidan had received, and the vicious snake attack. They finally decided on drawing straws. The shortest one got to go and wake her up, and if they ended up dead, the second shortest would go next.

"Fuck, un!" Deidara growled, glaring at nothing. He didn't want to deal with a moody girl in the morning.

He slowly drug himself to her room, damning Sasori-danna for no reason. The blonde didn't bother turning in the lights, figuring that would annoy the girl even more. It'd annoyed him and he'd been awake for an hour and a half.

There was enough light from hallway to make out her profile, which at the moment, seemed a little... Big? And oddly shaped.

Maybe she had someone with her? The thought kind of pissed him off. The Iwa missing-nin narrowed his eyes, going back in his memory. Nope. Everyone was there this morning.

The blonde shrugged, walking closer to poke the uneven blob that was supposedly a princess. "Hey. Time to walk up, un."

The blob didn't even twitch. Deidara poked harder, trying to locate her stomach. Everyone woke up when you poked their stomachs. Either because they're pissed off, or ticklish.

Lie groaned, shifting slightly. _Why the hell is my knee being poked,_ she thought, snuggling closer to her May. The batgirl whimpered, moving out of the way of whatever was now poking her shoulder.

Deidara, totally obvious to the different voices of these sounds, shifted awkwardly. Being a hormonal teenager, he automatically changed Lie's _groan of discomfort _to a _moan_ of... well, you get the point. And May's whimper was just down right hot.

"You gotta wake up, yeah." He poked a random spot again, giving a satisfied smirk as May squeaked in surprise.

What the young ninja didn't expect was for a pair of bright blue eyes not unlike his own to pop open. The unfamiliar girl swatted his hand away, closing her eyes again and cuddling back under the blanket.

"Lie-kun! W-why are your eyes blue, hmm?"

Both girls made a noise of annoyance. "Shush." Lie commanded, the same time May whined, "I'm still tired."

_Two... Voices?_

Maybe he's still asleep. Deidara finally grabbed into to felt like a shoulder, and started shaking the small girl. Huh. Lie-kun looked bigger than this yesterday, Deidara thought dully.

The batgirl growled, using one hand to grab the Iwa nin by his shirt and yank him onto the bed next to them. The blonde made a noise of surprise, slowly relaxing as several arms wrapped themselves around him.

Those bright blue eyes opened again, this time much closer. "Who are you?" She asked sleepily, laying her head back on Lie's chest. Not in a dirty way! Boobs are just comfortable. We all know it's the truth.

"D-Deidara, un." He answered shakily. He had to be cuddled by four arms to actually realize there was in fact two girls in the bed.

_Let's give the boy a round of applause, people. _

"I'm May," she yawned, wrapping her free arm around Deidara to pull him closer. "You're warm," She purred, shifting in response to Lie. Lie moved closer to Deidara, hooking one of her legs over his hips.

It was safe to say Deidara was enjoying this very much, but he also knew someone, proabably Deidara, was going to be dead if Itachi came in to find them all cuddling. "Hey, we need to get up, okay? Kakuzu wants to check on Lie-kun's injuries and then Leader-sama wants to have a full group meeting, yeah."

Lie's black eyes opened, with a small groan on her part. "Shut up, Dei-kun. Just to back to sleep." She whispered, her bedroom voice getting the best of Deidara.

The blonde nin sighed, knowing there would be hell to pay when someone came to wake up the person sent to wake Lie up. Is it really that surprising he thought the pluses of snuggling with two very attractive girls would outweigh the negatives though?

The girls fell back asleep within a few minutes, while Deidara just contemplated life. Lie moved a little, laying her head in the crook of his neck like May had not an hour ago to her, causing May to end up half on Deidara and half on blonde slowly fell asleep, dipping his head to his chest.

The door slammed open, an annoyed Hidan standing in the doorway. "What'd she do, kick your ass, Deidara?" He snarled, eyes landing on the pile of sleeping bodies. He flicked on the light.

Once again, May was the first to react, her ice cold gaze settling on Hidan, a sexy smile gracing her plump snakebitten lips. "Actually, we're using his fantastic body for warmth. You're welcome to join us."

She was a flirt. Plain and simple.

Hidan's mouth fell open, his shock overriding any other emotion, "Well, fuck."

May fluttered her lashes, "We could probably do that too."

The batgirl had perfect vision in the dark, and she could see everything easily in the low light. Her large eyes widened even more, seeing the blush that now dusted the man's face.

_Too easy,_ she thought. She giggled, slowly untangling herself from Deidara and Emilie. The latter was now awake, and wondering why there was a hand licking her thigh.

May then sashayed to Hidan, her million watt smile nearly blinding him. "Has anyone ever told you that you smell delicious?" She winked, entwining their hands together.

"May! Stop flirting with S-ranks!" Emilie hissed into Deidara's neck.

The batgirl turned halfway around, "Girl, you have no room to talk. You're cuddling one!"

"No, I'm..." She started, then realized she wasn't cuddling May anymore. "Deidara?" Lie's eyes widened.

"Hey, guys! I found out what's taking him so fucking long! There's a fucking threesome in progress!" Hidan yelled, pulling May closer to his chest by their clasped hands.

May made a growling noise, smiling wickedly. Her knee length dark hair was ruffled, although somehow not in tangles, and paired with her grey blue eyes and huge bat wings, Hidan could easily imagine her being some sort of Angel of Jashin. Covered in blood and shreds of clothing of course.

May blinked, catching that little 'image' through their interlocked hands. She needed physical touch, but she was in fact a telepath. Her heart rate accelerated, causing her to shiver lightly. _Well, now. That's not such a bad idea,_ she mused, blushing.

Itachi was the first to show up, looking beyond pissed through his calm exterior. May did a double take, recognizing the older Uchiha, and stepping out of the way as he flew through the door.

"You know he was joking right? I don't do blondes." She said dryly, leaning against Hidan's chest. Hidan wrapped one arm around her small waist, her wings pressed tightly to her back.

"What's your damn name?" Hidan asked her, for once, quietly.

May tilted her head back, placing her lips against his shoulder in an almost kiss. "May. The vampire I'm sure you've heard so much about."

Emilie had by this time stood up and was alternating between glaring at Itachi for believing _Hidan_, and May for being May. "Hey, hooker, no flirting with Jashinists! He might sacrifice you or some shit."

May pouted, "Boo, you whore!"

That little sentence launched the game they played whenever possible. "Fetch is never going to catch on, Gretchen!" Emilie put a sassy hand on her hip, mock scowling at her slight friend.

"Ehh, I don't think my father, _the inventor of the Toaster Stroodle_, would like this."

They both grinned, yelling at the same time, "And four for Glen Coco. You go, Glen Coco!"

May caved first, burying her face in Hidan's cloak as she collapsed in a fit of giggles. "I love that movie!"

Lie smiled, darting to her friends side to pull her away from Hidan. To everyone else in the room, it looked like an innocent enough gesture, but May stiffened, automatically tuning into Lie's thoughts. "Go back. Start from the fever."

Lie complied, ignoring everyone else in the room as they had their silent conversation, safely held within Lie's head. May slowly batted her eyes, glancing at the members of the Akatsuki as they came up in her story. The girls stood very still as the Akatsuki members wondered what the hell was going on.

Suddenly, the blue eyed girl pulled away from Lie, eyes wide and full of anger. "You like him, yeah!" She growled, wrapping her arms around Lie. She was originally where Lie had gotten the 'yeah' thing. May had a problem with saying yes, okay, or right. She just liked yeah.

The princess in question blushed, "I never said that. Shut the hell up, bat." (J/N, I just realized they sound SasoDei-ish. :D)

"Nope. I will not. My little Lie-chan is growing up!" She snarled in reply, her wings twitching beneath her hair.

"Lie-hime. Who is this?" Leader-sama inquired, wondering how the strange girl go into the base.

Out of no where, a shuriken was thrown expertly at them. Leader-sama didn't twitch.

May remained where she was, simply moving her pure black wings front of both of them. There was a solid clinking noise, as if the shuriken had hit metal, and the small throwing star fell to the floor.

The batgirl peeked her head out from her armor plated cocoon, glaring at Pein with no hints of fear. "What. The fuck. Was that?" She snarled, slowly walking towards him until they were less than an inch apart. The batgirl had to look up at him.

Lie sighed. May's first rule. No swearing unless its the only thing keeping you from ripping their pretty little throats out.

Leader-sama glared back coolly. "Testing your loyalties."

"Well, don't, buddy. Or I might decide you look yummy today." May fearlessly snapped, her eyes turning red from blood lust. Her fangs popped out, digging into her bottom lip uncomfortably and clicking against the metal.

Her protective armor was still in place, Lie noted. Cecelia, her mothers twin had made it for her, after her wing had received a slash that cut through it.

The leader of the Akatsuki narrowed his eyes slightly, "Are you threatening me?"

"The first time I killed, I stabbed a grown man through the heart to protect my brothers. I was six years old. I will protect those I love with everything." She snarled, poking him in the chest.

"So, yes. I am threatening you. And you better take it to heart, because if you haven't noticed, I'm not really here. You can kill me as many times as you damn well please, and I will keep coming back. Over. And over." May's wings widened, the metallic rings keeping her armor in place shining brightly.

It was strange how similar Pein's piercings and May's looked. Although May only had snakebites and her wings.

The rest of the Akatsuki was just waiting for leader to kill her. Hidan was a little disappointed he didn't get to have fun with her.

Taking everyone but May by surprise, Pein simply nodded. "Fine. I do not plan on hurting Lie-hime, but do not question my authority again."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Leader-sama. Now, I'm going to go flirt with your underlings!" May saluted him, her wings following suit, batting once. She whirled around, crouching down before lunching herself at the silverette.

Lie sighed in relief, leaning against Itachi. "So, everyone. This is May, my best and most protective friend."

"Your slutiest too, un." Deidara snickered.

May glanced at him, her eyes returning to their previous red color. "You're just jealous I've kissed more girls in the last year than you have, pretty-boy!" Hidan chuckled, looking at the girl with lust.

Even Lie could imagine what he was thinking, and she wasn't the telepath.

Deidara scowled, "As if, un! Everybody wants this sexy body, yeah." He motioned to his body, winking suggestively.

May's red eyes flickered to Emilie, sending a silent message to her. Lie growled, knowing all too well she was trying to hook them up. "Dumb blonde."

"HEY." Lie growled, pouting. "Takin it too far, Striper."

"I'm don't understand why you're offended by that." Kisame remarked.

Lie felt the edges of her hot pink hair self consciously, "I'm a natural blonde. The pink is just dye. May knows that."

"Hmm," Deidara squinted, trying to picture her with blonde hair. It looked funny.

Lie briefly glared at him, before turning to Pein. "Leader-sama, can we talk?" Pein nodded, motioning for her to follow him. Konan also left.

May, already knowing what they were going to speak about, glared at everyone left in the room. "Itachi-kun, you better protect your aunty when I'm not here to block shuriken. Dei-kun, if you break her heart, I swear to God and Jashin I will rip your heart out and feed it to Aerie. Got it, blondie?"

She narrowed her eyes, before continuing, "Sasori-danna, you're pretty cool. I like your hair. Zetsu-kun, vegetarians taste funny, so don't even try. Tobi, you're so fricken cute! Kisame-chan, you too, you adorable fishy you. And, Kukazu-kun, thanks for fixing up my Lie." May finally turned to Hidan. "Now, you." She poked his chest threateningly, "You are messed up in the head, which I know because I'm telepathic. Now, come on, you gotta show me around the base. Especially, your room."

Hidan grinned sadistically. "Fuck yeah."

-~magic time skipping line~BAM~~~~~~~~~~~

My Sharingan was activated, while I tried to dodge the flurry of attacks Sasori was hitting me with. Well, technically it was one of his puppets, but still. My leg hurt like hell, and my arm was really sore, but apparently, the only thing Sasori can do about that would be to cut them off and stick on a puppet arm or leg.

I decided to suck it up and keep all my human parts.

Even so, I learned quite a few jutsu's while training with the redhead. He was allegedly 'going easy' on me. Which _totally_ explains the twenty or so scratches all over my exposed legs.

Please note the sarcasm. I

growled, ducking lower to dodge a blast of fire shooting out of the puppets mouth. The 'goal' of this was for me to fight the puppet off while trying to use my own chakra strings to take control of it.

Being the master puppeteer and the puppet he is, it was very challenging. Also, I only learned how to make chakra strings a few hours ago.

"Are you sure you're okay? Leader-sama would be annoyed if I accidentally killed you." Sasori paused in his attacks, eyes sweeping over my figure.

I took that as an opportunity to steal control of the puppet, forcing the fire to stop and making it shut down completely by disabling itself. Sasori smirked, nodding his approval. "Smart."

"I know, Sasori-sempai. I know." I mocked lightly.

"Still not as bad as the brat or Tobi."

I winced, moving out of the way as the puppet miraculously put itself back together and went to attack me again. We started over again.

Finally, Sasori stopped moving, dropping the chakra strings he had on the puppet I was currently beating the hell out of. He nodded to the side, looking behind me with his pretty auburn eyes.

Turning slowly, I blinked, taking in my friends trashed clothing and cut up appearance. No blood escaped from the cuts, being that May was just a soul, but a steady stream of glitter was falling out. She had a guys shirt on over her own, presumably because it was beyond being saved.

Sasori snickered beside me, probably already knowing what had just gone on.

I sweat-dropped, eyes going wide. "You-you seriously fucked Hidan!" I screeched.

May giggled, looking sheepish. She just-! How the hell can she managed to look sheepish? "Now, I wouldn't use that word, but I can check Hidan off my 'things to do before I die' list."

"I'm traumatized." I hid my face, trying very hard not to look at her disheveled hair.

"So's Kukazu. He has the room next door."

I groaned, shivering. "Well, you better have had fun, because I made a deal with Leader. You're going to take me back to Konoha."

She scowled. "Fine. We'll come back eventually, right?" May pouted. "I haven't finished my things to do before I die list yet."

"What does that have to do with the Akatsuki?"

May raised her eyebrows, casting Sasori a meaningful glance. The puppeteer probably would've blushed, if he'd the blood to do it. I balked, shivering with disgust at my dear friends playbunny antics.

When she acted like this, it was really hard to comprehend this is the same inexperienced little girl I met six months ago. She hadn't even had her first actual kiss back then and she was eighteen.

Now, she's flirting with the awkward cloak club left and right!

Anyway, Leader-sama had agreed that I could go back to Konoha, as long as I just told them that two Akatsuki members had tried to kidnap me. For them, it would throw off anyone trying to track their movements, and for me, well, I got to go home to Kakashi. The only drawback of this 'deal' is that I wasn't allowed to interfere with anything involving the Akatsuki in the future, unless I wanted to join of course.

Training with Sasori would make it look more believable that I actually escaped the S-rank criminals, not to mention it would help me train my Sharingan.

Ah, good times. Beating the crap out of puppets and whatnot. Sighing, I held out my arms. May nodded, easily picking my weight up in her muscular arms.

I swear the girl didn't have an ounce of fat on her body, even though she barely weighed a hundred and twenty pounds. When I first met her she was still anorexic looking, just skin and bones, clocking in at ninety three pounds.

Sasori shrugged, "You want the brat to lead you there, or are you guys okay?"

"I'm hopeless with direction." May started walking towards the door.

The redhead disappeared, while we walked through the base to the door. I had given everyone a sparkler earlier, making sure that it matched their personalities. I gave Itachi two, because he seemed to like them.

We waited impatiently for the puppeteer and his 'brat' to help us get back to Konoha, May whispering about Hidan in my ear. It was very May of her to be turned on by blood, so Hidan was just fabulous. He didn't get all shy or anything when she gave him love bites, unlike humans, who tended to flip out when she broke skin.

Apparently being immortal also make your blood taste really good. May told me this verbally, and then showed it to me in my mind.

I twitched a little, noticing that she didn't sensor anything for my sake. By the time Deidara made it to where we were waiting for him, I was flustered and blushing profusely.

He gave both of us a strange look, taking in May's shredded clothes and my expression. "What are you guys up to, hmmm?" He smirked, blue-grey eyes sparkling devilishly.

May rolled her eyes, "Oh, shut up, and use your hand mouths to make us a birdy." She snapped her fingers, quickly following him out the door.

Deidara did as instructed with a disgruntled growl, somehow making a giant bird out of his explosive clay.

May gently put me down on its back, putting her long hair up into a messy bun afterwards. Deidara hopped onto the bird next to me, grabbing my right, uninjured, arm to wrap it around his waist.

I let out a surprised yelp as the huge clay bird took to the sky.

The blond snickered, while May easily kept pace with us, doing little twirls in the air next to the bird. Deidara barely glanced up from where he had started carving a new little critter when she started singing.

I joined in quickly, recognizing the familiar tune as one we used to sing together when we were back in our world. May suddenly cut off, as if noticing something. "That reminds me! Why are we speaking Japanese?"

I shrugged, "ne sais pas." I answered in French. Don't know.

"Vous avez de la chance alors que je vous ai enseigné, non?" May replied, giving Deidara a slightly superior smile. 'You're lucky then that I taught you it, right?'

"Wi." I admitted, pursing my lips. I spook English, Japanese, and French. May knew countless others.

Glancing at the confused blonde, I asked May, "Oui, vous pensez vraiment que nous serions un bon couple?" 'So, you really think we'd be a good couple?'

"Vous avez toujours dit que vous avez un faible pour les blondes, et il semble assez cool. c'est dommage qu'il meurt." She giggled, playfully fluffing Deidara's hair. 'You've always liked blondes, and he seems pretty cool. It's too bad he dies.'

I paled.

He glared up at her. "Stop touching my hair. I know you're jealous, but seriously, un."

"C'est meurt!" I yelled, jumping to my feet, pointing at May. 'He dies!'

"Je suis désolé?" She blinked, noticing the tears now building in my eyes. 'I'm sorry?'

I'm not even sure why I wanted to cry just then, I just know I did. "Et bien!?" 'Why!?'

"En fait, j'aime un homme et ils finissent par mourir?" I actually like a guy and they end up dead?

"Mon amour, calmez-vous. S'il vous plaît." My love, calm down. Please. May reached out, brushing a stand of pink hair our of my eyes.

I shook my head, looking at the confused blonde. "Ne vous avisez pas mourir, bon sang!" I told him. Scowling fiercely as I settled back down next to him.

Don't you dare die, dammit!


	10. Chapter 10! Tsume and Hana

Deidara didn't seem to know how to respond, and we spent the next ten minutes it took to get to the leaf in silence, for the most part.

May continued to speak in French, which annoyed the blonde to no end. He didn't really want to hear about what May and Hidan do in their free time though. Trust me.

He let us down about half a mile from the village, smirking flirtatiously. "See ya, yeah."

"Of course, un!" I jeered, lightly kissing his cheek.

May snickered, wrapping her arm around my waist so I could lean against her comfortably. "Don't tease him." She scolded gently.

Deidara's smirk grew, hopping back onto his bird thing. "Hey, here, un." He threw a clay figurine at me, which I caught with my good hand.

I opened my palm to reveal a small tiger figure, posed as if it was about to attack. I smiled at him, turning to walk away. I tucked the tiny tiger into my pokey pouch, allowing May to lead the way.

We ran to the village, not nearly at my full speed, but quick enough that May was panting lightly by the time we reached Konohagakure. She pulled off Hidan's shirt before we entered, stuffing it into my backpack.

May pulled her face into a scared little girl's expression, suddenly going very pale. She was a very good actress. I didn't need to pretend anything, being that my training with Sasori nearly killed me.

She rushed past the sleeping guards, dragging me to the hokage's tower-building thing without asking if I'd like a doctor. The receptionist gave us a startled gasp, before we darted past her.

I burst through the door, finding the hokage sitting in his desk, smoking a pipe like always. He was alone.

I sighed in relief, collapsing into the chair. "Hey, Hokage-sama. What's been going on?"

The hokage chuckled, pressing a button on his desk. "Get me a medic and Kakashi." He ordered whoever was on the receiving end, taking in our haggard appearances.

May saluted him, "You can take it from here, I take it." She disappeared, leaving the hokage and me alone.

I sighed, relaxing in my chair, my sore muscles protesting painfully. "So. I ran outta here like a fool, because my memories returned, and I ended up getting kidnapped. Any questions?"

"Memories?" The Hokage asked slowly, blowing out a puff of smoke.

"Susaeki's receive their past memories. From past lives. It was triggered by talking with Kyuubi. He was an old friend way back when. His host used to be my best friend... She was a bridesmaid at my wedding to Izuna."

The Hokage coughed, looking to be taken off guard. "Izuna... Uchiha Izuna?"

"That is correct. Madara's brother. My Izuna." I smiled longingly. "See?" I activated my Sharingan, smiling brightly.

Kakashi decided this was the perfect time to poof in. The first thing he did was wrap me in his arms, chucking softly. "I missed you. You had us all worried. I couldn't even get Naruto to eat ramen!"

I laughed, hugging him back gently. "You shouldn't worry about me! Nobody can keep me inclosed. Especially not some whiny Akatsuki losers," I teased.

Kakashi stiffened at the word Akatsuki. He stepped back, trying to maintain the cool Copycat nin persona, despite his open display of affection. Kakashi's visible eyes swept over my injuries, settling on my eyes last.

"Did I mention I'm an Uchiha?" I asked sweetly, looking over Kakashi's shoulder at the hokage. "My Izuna."

"This is unexpected." The hokage finally voiced.

"Right?" I asked, deactivating my Sharingan. "That damn Kyuubi." I cursed fondly. Then something occurred to me, "Naruto, he doesn't know... He doesn't know he has the fox within him?"

"We don't speak of that anymore." Kakashi told me lowly, eye cautious.

I frowned, looking at the old man. "He deserves to know. What if he loses control? I really don't want to be killed by a tailed beast... Again."

"Again?" Kakashi placed a hand on my cheek, rubbing just under my eye gently.

I leaned into the touch, watching his expression curiously. He wasn't one for displays of affection, and yet, here we were. "Shukaku killed me a few lifetimes ago, just after I gave birth to my second child. Bloodthirsty bastard."

The hokage cleared his throat, "What members of this 'Akatsuki' kidnapped you?"

I blinked, pretending to try to remember, "A puppeteer and a blonde boy. The puppeteer took control of my body with chakra strings. It was really hard to lose them after I escaped too, because the blonde made this bird thing, and followed us when we took to the sky."

He nodded, while Kakashi settled into the space next to me, twisting my arm back and forth to look at the splint.

"I tripped, trying to escape. The blonde wanted to let me suffer the consequences, but his partner made me a splint for my arm and healed my leg... He also offered to rip off my arm and make me a 'better' puppet one, but I declined." I'm sure that both Deidara and Sasori will appreciate my descriptions of their personalties. I stopped, hearing the door open.

"Hokage-sama? I know you wanted a medic, but Hana was the only one available." A girl asked softly from the door way.

A second girl came in, large black eyes landing on my arm. "I can probably fix an arm, though." The small fang tattoos were the giveaway, not to mention the huge fricking dogs that followed her.

I blinked, smiling brightly. "Inuzuka Hana?" I asked, holding out my good arm.

"That's me." She answered, shaking my hand before pushing Kakashi out if his seat. She sat down in his spot, taking my arm gently. Her hands started glowing with green chakra, and she stared at my arm. "It's feels like just a little fracture and some torn muscles. I can heal it."

"Thank you." I breathed, smiling. "Hokage-sama? Do you need to talk about anything else?"

"No. I'll give you a few free days though to recuperate, then you'll be heading to one of the smaller villages in Fire country."

"Yes, sir." I grinned, poking Hana's shoulder.

She looked up, confusion on her pretty face. She really had stunning eyes. "What?"

"You, me, and Tsume are having a girls night!" I told her excitedly. "We can paint each others nails, talk about random things, and watch movies! Oh, and annoy Kiba-kun of course!"

She blinked, a sweet smile coming to her face. "You're the Lie girl I've heard so much about?" I nodded. "My brother has a little bit of a crush on you. He always goes on and on about how 'bored' he is when you're away on a mission."

I giggled, looking at Kakashi. "I'm going to be with Tsume tonight, okay? You're not going to waste away without my cooking, right?"

The silvered hair jonin shrugged. "Probably not. I might die of loneliness."

"You'll survive. Didn't the new Icha Icha book come out a few days ago anyway?"

"Already finished it. Twice." He made a peace sign, undoubtedly grinning like an idiot.

I raised my eyebrows. "I see those genin's are keeping you _real_ busy." I replied sarcastically.

Hana laughed, standing up. "If you want, I can finish my shift a little early and we can head out right now."

I nodded, following her lead out the door. Waving over my shoulder at Kakashi and the Hokage, I slowly trailed the girl and her three dogs. "Hana? Why do you have three ninken?" Kiba and Tsume only have one as far as I know.

"They're triplets. They weren't meant to be separated." She answered, bending to scratch the top of the head of one of them.

"My friend is a triplet!" I cheered, looking at the three dogs curiously. "She would always protect her brothers too. She loves them too much for her own good. Her name is May, by the way. You can probably meet her one of these days.."

Hana smiled kindly, leading the way. "You're actually pretty lucky, mom just got back from another mission earlier today."

"Where's Kiba?"

"Training."

I pursed my lips, snapping my fingers together. "Damn. I was hoping he'd be gone. Then we could have a proper girls night."

Hana snickered. "We could always send him to the Nara's." One of her dogs barked in agreement, wagging his tail cutely. The other two made the dog equivalent of a laugh.

I shook my head, grinning. "No. No. I wouldn't put poor Shakamaru through that." We snickered.

Poor Kiba. Always being picked on.

"We could always lock the door and let him fend for himself..." I snickered, posturing Kiba's face when he tried to enter his own home to find it locked tight.

Again, poor Kiba. At least May wasn't here to tease him. She would without a doubt out flirt him and end up making some comment about his dog like qualities.

Then again, someone needs to shoot down that boys confidence. Deidara too. He needs to lower his confidence down to an acceptable amount.

Hana opened the door for me, stepping in first. Her dogs followed closing behind, heading to what I assumed was Hana's room. We headed to the kitchen, and the back door. Tsume was training with Kuromaru in the back.

"Mom!" Hana yelled, waving halfheartedly.

"Hana! What are you doing home?" She looked up, looking over Hana for injuries.

I snorted. "That's the welcome I get, Tsume-chan? How kind of you." I held my arms open, feigning hurt.

Tsume's dark purple lips curled into a snarly kind of smile. "Hana, what did I tell you about bringing home _strays_?" She teased.

"Mom!" Hana's eyes widened.

I placed a hand on my heart. "That cuts me deep, it really does. I was just kidnapped, and I come to my dear friends house to relax and..." I trailed off dramatically, looking at to the far right of me at nothing in particular.

"It's probably your own fault you got kidnapped, isn't it though, kid?" Tsume enveloped me in a bear crushing hug. Yes, not bone crushing, _bear_ crushing.

"That's... Partially true." I gasped, struggling to catch my breath. This hug was not helping my soreness.

Hana sighed. "Mom, you're crushing her."

"Tough love." Kuromaru barked, rubbing the side of his head against Tsume's leg.

I laughed, hugging the wild woman back with a laugh. "Shut your... Muzzle, Kuromaru." I growled, still unable to get a proper breath.

The giant dog leaned over, playfully nipping my fingertips with a growl. I giggled, curling my hand into a fist so he couldn't do it again.

Tsume finally let me go, grabbing onto my shoulders and stepping back enough so she could look at me properly. "What has Kakashi been feeding you? You're still so scrawny." She taunted, pursing her lips. "We need to get some meat into you."

Hana laughed, shaking her head. "Mom, you can't just call your friends scrawny."

"Well, I thought today would be as good as any for that girls night you asked me for, Tsume-chan. And seeing as Kakashi has those genin's to take care of, I'd get kind of lonely with just me in that big ole house." This time, I looked away for real, trying to hide the unsought of tears threatening to escape.

Kind of lonely was an understatement.

I was totally isolated from those I loved.

Maybe though, I thought, looking at Tsume and Hana bicker fondly, discussing what we should do for our girls night, maybe I can learn to love the people here too. They won't replace my dead parents, or my siblings, or even May, but Maybe.

"Lie-chan? What do you think we should do?" Tsume demanded, placing one hand one her hip.

I blinked, unsure as to what they were arguing about. "Can we go to the bath house first? Those steam baths would do wonders for our muscles." I sighed, rubbing my shoulder. "Maybe I could sucker Kakashi into paying for a message too."

"Naw. I invited you, I'll pay for it." Tsume waved her hand in the air, motioning for Hana and I to follow.

Kuromaru stayed behind, promising to make sure that if Kiba came back he would scare him away. Tsume didn't want any boys screwing up our girls night. We walked into the baths, even Tsume sighing contentedly as the door opened to a veil of steam.

I would kill to work in a place like this! Well, not literally. I would shove someone in my basement and steal their job, but probably not kill them.

I hope you know I'm kidding.

Anyway. I laughed nervously, waving off the look Hana gave me. We all stripped down, Hana and I both blushing when Tsume refused to put on a towel. "It's only girls! I don't care if they see my goods." She explained loudly, throwing the towel back at Hana's face.

I blushed brighter, averting my eyes as she shamelessly strutted into the steam bath. Shaking my head, I twisted my hair up into a bun, keeping it in place with two senbon needles. Like a ninja. Bam. I can kick ass even while naked.

Oh god. That sounded messed up, didn't it?

Thankfully, the steam covered most of my awkward smile and bright red face. I followed behind Hana, settling into the the piping hot water as quickly as my sore body would allow.

There were several other girls there, but I imagined them to be civilians, as I haven't seem any of them wondering around wearing our green flack jackets or jumping around the roofs.

I sunk into the water, covering myself up to my chin with almost boiling water. It was fabulous.

Although, Tsume couldn't allow me a moment of peace. "So. I hear Iruka took you out to dinner sometime last week." She raised her eyebrows, animal like eyes flashing.

Clearing my throat, I sunk lower into the water, "Ummm. Not really, I mean, he did take me out for ramen, but Naruto was there and it really wasn't a date, per say."

The Inuzuka glared at me, "Wasn't a date, huh? So, you're saying you're still open for dating then?" Her purple lips morphed into a knowing smile, nudging Hana.

Hana looked over at her mother lazily. "Really, mom? Don't you think she's a little old for Kiba?"

"I'm sixteen!" I protested. Tsume smiled.

My eyes widened. "Dammit. Not like that! I'm still not interested. In anyone, for that matter."

Not since... May's rage filled eyes appeared, looking wickedly protective. She had a talent for forming special bonds, and for that I was very thankful.

Special bonds are usually only formed by close siblings suck as twins, or very close friends or lovers. They enable you to feel the others emotions and pain. May had one with Nick, Jake, myself, and ironically, a girl named Natalie, who happened to be Clinton's ex-blood slave and first timer... Doing ya'know. THAT.

Tsume tilted her head to the side, "Why's that? You're a pretty little konoichi."

I sighed, looking up at the sky as if praying. "The last guy I was with, I liked for a long time, and when he finally asked me out, I was just really happy..."

I shook my head, glaring at my hands. "I was just really _stupid_. He didn't actually like me, he wanted my body. And, he almost got that. I tired really hard to fight him off, but I was only a fifteen year old, and I couldn't."

A smile came to my face, "May, I told her to stay at home, but she followed us anyway, and she almost killed him. He ended up somehow falling out a window." I laughed lightly. "But... I really liked him. And it broke my heart he wasn't what I wanted. You know?"

Hana frowned, "I don't understand how you can be so flippant about it."

I shrugged, leaning against the hot stones at the edge of the bath. "May saved me. She always does, even if its me she's saving me from. I don't see I should be worried. Besides, I'm a kick-ass konoichi, now! And I have Kakashi-kun to protect me."

"How does Kakashi protect you? He's always busy reading those perverted books of his," Tsume smirked.

"You just throw in 'copycat of the leaf', and the word _lover_. Suddenly no one comes within a five foot radius with ill intentions." I slyly smiled, winking at the Inuzuka girls.

Hana laughed, covering her mouth with her hand in a ladylike manner. Her mother cackled with laughter, pounding her hand down on the stone border of the bath.

I giggled, shaking my head. _Could their reactions be any more different?_ I thought, looking between the two. I wonder if Hana got her behaviors from her father, or if it just comes with living with both Kiba and Tsume. Someone in the house would have to keep the peace.

We spent about an hour soaking, all the while Tsume making not-so-subtle hints about Kiba's interest in me. I rolled my eyes each time.

We lazily got up, heading back to the locker room thing. I quickly put on a new outfit, remembering that I'd have to buy a new tank top.

Sighs dramatically. Damn rogues.

Without a mission for the next few days, I decided to wear one of the few dresses I bought while wondering around Konoha in my free time. It was a simple strapless, off-white summer dress with traditional braiding around the bust and rhinestones scattered all over it.

I quickly braided my hair, trailing slowly after Tsume. Apparently, we were going to a restaurant for dinner. We were quite on the way there, aside from the occasional question about living with Kakashi from Hana.

I wondered if she had a little bit of a crush?

Tsume opened the door for me, smiling wickedly. I narrowed my black eyes, instantly recognizing the scent of meat. She didn't.

"She did." A voice to my right snickered.

I jumped, nearly punching Hana into the ground. "Don't sneak up on me, woman!" I hissed, glaring harshly. Holy flip! Not only did she read my fricking mind- or just read my expression, but whatever. - but she snuck up on me! You can't expect to sneak up on a ninja without being injured. Goodness gracious.

Being the caring mother she is, Tsume reached over and hit my arm, scowling playfully. "Stop attacking Hana. That's what you have Kiba for." She winked.

I sweat dropped, "Tsume! What do you- agh! Never mind. I'm going to pretend I never heard that!" I buried my face in my hands, closing my eyes against the dog like ninja in front of me.

Times like this I wish I was back at Kakashi's cooking dinner while he reads porn and complains about his boring missions.

... I really need to get out more.

The hostess seated us at a hibachi style table. Tsume ordered steak and rice stir-fry for all of us.

I sighed, knowing she wouldn't let me leave unless I tried 'at least a bite' of the expensive meat. It's not like I'm offended by meat, I've just never been a big meat eater, even before I made that deal with May.

My little sister was a vegetarian since she was like seven, so it wasn't very hard for me to adjust to a no-meat diet.

Tsume watched hungrily as the waitress/chief came back with a huge plate of uncooked meat and a basket full of ingredients for the stir fry. She started chopping the vegetables, making jokes with us and asking Tsume what she's been up to lately. She was a regular.

While I waited, I reached into the side pouch, looking for my box of pokey. At the bottom of the pouch there was a smushed empty box of pokey, and a tiny clay figure.

I pulled both out, scowling at the worthless box. I threw it across the room, making it into the garbage can. "Yes!" I half-yelled, smiling brightly.

Hana raised her eyebrows. "What do you have there?" She leaned forward, uncurling my fingers from the tiger figurine I had forgotten about.

I silently shrugged, knowing that if I said an S-rank criminal had made it for me she'd probably destroy it, thinking that it was some type of spying devise. I knew Deidara wouldn't do that, although why he made it for me is still a mystery.

Maybe... He likes me?

No! Lie, he's an S-rank that you'll probably never see again. Knock it off. I scolded myself.

"This is so pretty. Mom, look at this!" Hana showed it to Tsume, gently tracing the striped pattern Deidara had carefully made on it.

Her mother glanced at it, shrugging lightly. I didn't peg Tsume one to be interested in art.

Hana turned back to me, "Lie-kun, where'd you get this? I want to buy one of a dog."

"Ehh. I found it in Iwagakure? There's a boy that runs a little stand named Kyo." I improvised, knowing the chance Hana visiting Iwa anytime soon are slim.

"Hmmm. That's too bad. It's real pretty." Hana handed it back to me, smiling slightly.

A sad smile drifted across my face, May's words of warning echoing. I'm not sure why, but I didn't want him to die. I really didn't. I wanted to get to know Deidara and Sasori and all the Akatsuki better. Especially Itachi, my dear cousin. "Yeah. I know. It is too bad. He was cute too."

Meanwhile, only twenty minutes of running away, everyone's favorite pyromaniac sneezed, causing the miniature version of Lie to get smushed. He sighed. "Damn, un."

"They say when you sneeze for no reason someone's talking about you, brat."

Deidara scoffed. "If that was true, I'd sneeze way more often, yeah. All the girls."

Sasori looked up from his workbench, face blank as ever with mocking eyes. "Oh, really? That's why you've been talking about that pink haired brat for the past two days. Cause you get _all kinds _of girls."

"She's not a brat, un!" (Knee jerk reaction? Come on, Deidara! You're not helping your case, man.)

The red head smirked. "You are, that makes anyone you're interested in a brat too."

Deidara made a growling noise, turning back to his miniature Lie.


	11. Chapter 11! New somewhat awkward friends

**Lie-chan; I thought you were gonna post this yesterday!**

**Me; Sorry guys! I've been to the ER twice in the last week and the only way I can take my new medication is shanking myself! It huurts!**

**Hidan; Bitch! Where am I in this chapter? **

**Me; ummmm. MAY, CONTROL YOUR PLAYTHING.**

**May; naw. I wasn't in here either. Hida-chan, sick her! **

**Me; Hope you like it! Oh, and I don't own anything! *Runs for dear life* **

* * *

"KAKASHI-KUN!"

The silverette poked his head out of the bathroom, hair still dripping wet from his shower. "What?"

I shrugged. "Aren't you like... Three hours late?"

He glanced at the clock. "Umm. Yeah. Your point?"

I shook my head, laughing lightly. "I feel so bad for your little genins. You're a jerk."

Kakashi grinned, both of his eyes making little U shapes. "I know."

The warm loving smile that graced my face was unavoidable. He looked so cute! Even if he did expect me to make dinner every night because he seemed to have a knack for burning everything in sight and his taste in literature wasn't tasteful in the least.

"Well, come on!" I clapped my hands, which were covered in onigiri from the konbu rice balls I was making. The rice stuck to my hands and got in-between all my fingers.

It was so annoying, not to mention how hard it was to actually make the triangle shape! Nobody told me you had to make it a certain way or it'll look like some sort of demented one-eared cat thing.

Why was I attempting to make traditional Japanese food, anyway? Oh, yeah.

The hokage was a man true to his word, and he was giving me a few days to do absolutely nothing but recover my 'kidnapping' experience. So far, I had finished my sleepover with Tsume and Hana, wasted an entire day shopping for a new pink tank top, spent some quality time with team 7, and I was currently learning how to make rice balls. Quality time with team 7 is just a code word for laughing at their misfortune, by the way.

"Kakashi-kun? Come here! Am I doing this right?" I yelled across the house, where I thought Kakashi would be getting dressed.

I yelped in surprise as two arms wrapped around my waist. It was very hard to squish my automatic reaction of attacking him. "Dammit, Kakashi-kun!" I growled.

He chuckled, laying his head on my shoulder, "Here." He grabbed both my hands in his, showing me how to "properly" shape the rice around the konbu. With his help, it actually turned out looking triangle instead of a demented blob.

Not that my pride would let me admit to it. "Can you get off me now?" I demanded, hoping he couldn't make out the blush spreading across my face. I mean, let's face it, I live with an attractive young shinobe, but it's not like I'm immune to it.

"Why, Lie-chan? Do you not like my affection?" Kakashi whined, tightening his grip on my waist.

I ground my teeth together. "Hatake Kakashi, if you do not let to of me right now I will set every Icha Icha book you have on fire."

"Liar."

I knew he was doing this to get a rise out of me, because he found it amusing. I ignored it. "You are getting rice on my brand new apron. You wanna bet I won't set that pile of smut up in flames?"

"Well, considering you're my _lover_, I don't think you will." He teased, using one hand to twirl a piece of pink hair.

Yes, I told him about the Iwa border patrol and what I said to get them to back the hell off, and he's been holding it over my head since.

"Ehhhh. You keep saying that and people are going to actually think we are lovers, you know? And I swear to god if you bring some chick home I'll kick your ass."

Kakashi nuzzled the side of my neck affectionately. "That sounds kinky."

I groaned, covering my face in shame. "You're a pervert. Now, get off me before-" the was a loud noise, which I knew was our front door opening.

He planned this, didn't he?

"Dammit." I finished, twitching as Kakashi laughed against my neck. It tickled.

"Kakashi-sensei!" One.

"I told we should've just waited, dobe." Two.

"Sasuke-kun is right, Naruto! We should've just waited." Three.

I sighed, just as the familiar blonde head burst into the kitchen, followed closely by none other than my dear cousin and pinky. I looked through my fingers at them, my cheeks still hot and probably bright pink.

Naruto blinked slowly, then yelled in a very Naruto way, "Hey! You were standing us up so you could spend time with your girlfriend!?"

Sasuke hit the back of his head. "Duh." Sakura seemed to be in a state of shock.

Kakashi released me, finally. I took a deep breath, before saying very calmly, "HE'S NOT MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND, UZAMAKI."

"Language." Kakashi chided. I glared at him.

I darted away towards his bedroom, yelling over my shoulder about my clans fire ball jutsu. By my clan, I actually meant the Uchiha side rather than the Susaeki, but if I started yelling about being an Uchiha, a certain duck would probably have a kunai at my throat. Not that he could actually hurt me, but I would humor him.

Grabbing the latest book in the series, I ran back into the kitchen, where no one had moved.

How lazy.

"Please explain to the genin that you are not in fact my boyfriend, because for the record, I like blondes-" with blue eyes, a cocky attitude, who like to cuddle in the morning instead of making me wake up, and...

Wait.

"Was I saying something? I just spaced out."

Kakashi chuckled, while Naruto seemed mildly annoyed. Sakura, being the only girl in the group, had hearts in her eyes as she announced, "Lie-chan likes someone!"

I nodded slowly, a smile dusting my lips. "Yeah. I do."

I had to snap myself out of it. "Now get out of my house! Aren't you guys supposed to be doing missions? How the hell did you get this address anyhow?"

Kakashi humphed. "We're talking about this later." My love life?

"Sure thing, old man." I chucked the book at his head. Unfortunately, Kakashi caught it easily. I made a growling noise in the back of my throat, turning back to my failure of a rice ball.

Sakura grinned, throwing her hand in the air. "Yes! I was right. We need to have a girl talk about him! And I need to meet him and we can fix your hair for your first date and to shopping for a new outfit!"

The smile dropped. "Nah. He's not the kind of person who would actually go for a super cool jonin like me." I smiled disarmingly, winking at Sakura.

Well, that and the only one I interested in is an S-rank criminal, I finished off internally.

"Now, get out! Y'all need training and taking about my not-so-love life isn't gonna help ya!" I grabbed my dear cousin my the collar, doing the came to Naruto's wrist. "Let's go, boys! You too Sakura, but I don't have three arms, so fend for yourself. Kakashi if you're reading your 'book' back there I will kill you."

"Shouldn't you get some training in too, Lie-chan?" He asked dryly.

I was careful to tilt my head back at an angle where only Kakashi could make out my eyes as I flashed my Sharingan at him, a superior smirk on my face. "Don't need it, Copykitty-kun," I chirped, using May's nickname for him.

He chuckled, eye flickering over to Sasuke, who was watching us with a bored expression.

_Awwwww_. He was such an adorable kid! Deactivating my Sharingan, I leaned my head down, pecking him lightly on the forehead. "You're so cute and cuddly. Almost as adorable as my Whisker-kun!" I told him.

Sasuke remained expressionless, although a red blush spread across his cheeks.

"I don't have Whiskers! Believe it!" Naruto glared cutely at me.

I raised my eyebrows, "Not the reaction I expected, but still very cute, Whiskers."

Sakura made a face, an irk mark appearing on her forehead. "We just established you like someone! Stop kissing Sasuke-kun!"

"Oh! I just pecked him. Are you jealous, Sakura-chan?" I shot back. "Sides, I'm from Michigan, not Alabama. We don't roll that way." They clearly didn't understand my mean joke, but I just laughed to myself, dragging the to boys out of the house.

I dropped them off at the Hokage's office to get their D-rank missions and ran to the training place. The training ground was empty when I got there, which made me happy.

Nobody to tell me how to do things.

I slowly walked to the river, taking off my thigh pouches and tying my hair up on the way. I threw the pouches at an overhanging branch, and placed Aerie on the ground next to the bank.

Kakashi helped me yesterday with trying to focus my chakra, which was harder than it seemed. Something about the genin's knowing how to do this inspired me to try again though.

Carefully stepping into the water, I forced the chakra to the soles of my feet. I was somehow supposed to make so that I could literally walk on the water. It seemed a little far fetched to me, but Kakashi swears it will work itself out.

After this, I planned on working on minor healing so maybe I could make it through the day without taping a bandage over my love bites from Aerie. She gets ornery if I don't let her kill someone once in a while. Hopefully, my next mission will involve a fight of some sort.

"Time to start training!" I yelled, pumping my fist in the air and smiling to myself. Thankfully, no one could see me, because I'm sure that I looked like an idiot.

Not to mention when I started singing put of boredom while failing at walking on water. What I am, Jesus? How the hell do they expect me to do this?

"Merrily we fall out of line, out of line. I'd fall anywhere with you, I'm by your side. Swinging in the rain, humming melodies, we're not going anywhere until we freeeeeze. I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not afraid...

"Forever is a long time! But I... wouldn't mind spending it by your side."

My concentration was broken by the tilted pair of blue eyes that filled my mind.

"Da-dammit!" I shivered, standing up again. I'll master this if it kills me, and no adorable blue eyed ninja will stop me! No no no!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HOLY TIME SKIP, BATMAN~~~~~~~~~

So. I didn't think my outfit through this morning... Or maybe I didn't think through my training plans. Who knows.

Either way, I mastered walking on water, and the pale pink summer dress I had on was now soaked to the extant you could see my black bra and matching panties. Not like just the outline either, you could see _everything_ and unlike in the movies, I wasn't wearing some sexy silk number, I was wearing cheap, acceptable-to-break-a-sweat-in black panties and an equally crappy black bra.

At least they kind of matched...? Kind of is the key word in that.

I sighed, noting that the material would set on fire if I tried drying it with my Extra. Damn. Kakashi would be laughing his ass off. Or making some sort of perverted comment.

I wondered if anyone nearby had extra training clothes. I wasn't one to be... Self-conscious about my body, but I also didn't want anyone aside from Kakashi seeing me in my bra and panties.

NOT THAT- ehhh. Dammit.

I mean, I see Kakashi as an awkward permanently 'friend-zoned' guy that I have to live with. Although he could make me blush like a pro, and I did see him as attractive, I could also say the same thing about May, she was very pretty. I'm just not into that.

I strained my ears, trying to place if their was another team in one of the adjacent training areas. I barely caught some noise a few hundred yards away.

Quickly grabbing my thigh pouches and headband, (I also saw that Aerie was gone, but she's probably hunting, so I left her be) I darted towards the noise.

Tracking the noise was easy, considering it sounded like two of the team training were yelling. I jumped into a tree, not bothering to remain stealthy. My black eyes swept the training ground, locating the team of four, three students and a sensei.

There was, thankfully, a girl in the group with her hair tied in two buns at the top of her head. The boy next to her had eyes exactly like Hinata's and long straight brown hair. He must be a Hyuga. They watched their sensei and teammate boredly.

Clearly, these were the famous Guy and Lee, Kakashi warned me about. Their bright green jumpsuits and loud personalities said it all. It was a tragic coincidence that we shared names.

I lunged from my perch near the top of the tree, landing in a distinctly feline crouch right next to the girl. She yelped in surprise, almost falling into the Hyuga's arms.

A small bubble of laughter escaped my lips before I managed to stop it. "Sorry!" I blurted, covering my mouth with my free hand. "I didn't mean to startle you! I was just wondering if any of you have dry clothes? I was practicing by the river... And well," I dropped my hand, grabbing the edge of my still soaking sundress.

The girl laughed, stepping away from the first boy with a blush. She opened her mouth to say something, only to be interrupted by the younger version of Guy, Lee.

"TENTEN, WHAT ARE YOU-!" He broke off, suddenly noticing me.

I smiled, waving. "You must be the famous Rock Lee and Guy-sensei I've heard so much about from my Copykitty!"

Guy grinned, instantly knowing who I was referring to, "MY INTERNAL RIVAL, KAKASHI HAS TOLD YOU ABOUT US?"

I flinched, noticing that they both seemed to be talking in caps-lock. "Yeah. I'm the new jonin, Susaeki Lie." I held up my headband, pressing it against my forehead like you were supposed to wear it.

"I am Hyuga Neji." The long haired boy stepped forward, holding out his hand.

My attention turned to him. I blinked, taking a step in his to direction to shake his outstretched hand and tilting my head to the side. "It's nice to meet you. You're related to Hinata from the academy?"

He stiffened the tiniest amount, "She is my cousin."

I nodded, and TenTen followed his lead, holding out a dainty hand. "Call me TenTen."

Smiling warmly, I shook her hand too. "It's good to know there are actually sane people in Konoha." I told them both cheerfully, before gently pulling TenTen closer. "So, do you shown to have extra clothes?" My eye brows tilted inward, and I pouted slightly.

She frowned apologetically. "I have weapon scrolls?" She offered lightly, trying to lighten the mood.

"Damn." I sighed, just as Guy jumped to the rescue.

He somehow just _appeared_ at my side and out of no where, pulled out a green jumpsuit exactly like his own and Lee's. "FLOWER'S SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO WEAR SUCH CLOTHING IN THE PRESENCE OF MEN. WEAR THIS."

I pursed my lips, staring at the atrociously green outfit. Maybe...? I had to weigh my options. Either I put on the spandex looking thing, or all Konoha gets to see my underthings.

I must be fucking insane.

Ugly green skintight jumpsuit it is. I shrugged, and pulled it out of his hands. "Thanks!"

Guy and Lee gave each other The Look, hearts in their eyes. Both Neji and TenTen sweat dropped, giving me sympathetic looks.

I darted into the forest, just far enough away they wouldn't be able to hear the sound of ripping. I slipped out of my sundress, throwing it on a branch next just above my head for the time being.

Holding out the jumpsuit, I used two senbon to stick it to the tree and my very sharp machete to chop off most of the legs. The green cloth fell to the floor, leaving me with about ten centimeters of legs past my butt. I left the long sleeves, figuring Guy might have a heart attack as it is, I wouldn't want to completely ruin the picture he had in his head.

Quickly struggling into the tight fabric on my wet skin, I tied my headband to my thigh like usual, wondering if Aerie was waiting for me by the river yet. Oh well. She knows how to track my scent.

Last, I clipped on my firework and weapons pouch and fluffed my wet hair out. It was strange... But this outfit was actually very comfy. Being spandex, I thought it would be unbreathable and tight feeling, but it was surprisingly moveable. It also molded to my skin without getting bunched up anywhere.

"I'm back!" I yelled, darting into the clearing. Neji and TenTen were now sparring, while Lee was doing push-ups... with Guy on his back.

My eyes widened. Daaaaaamn. That kid is strong! I gave a shrill whistle. "Lee-kun! How the heck-? Man. You're probably stronger than me!"

They both looked up. "LIE-SAN!" Lee sputtered slightly, taking in my outfit.

"Do you like it!?" I smiled, doing a twirl and a half backhand spring. "I love it! Thank you, Guy-sensei!" I trilled, balancing on my hand like I had at the Akatsuki base. My hair fell in messy pink tendrils in my face.

Guy grinned, standing up to give me a thumbs up. The sunlight glinted off his teeth, nearly blinding me. "ALTHOUGH I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO SHORTEN IT, YOU LOOK STUNNING, MY YOUTHFUL FLOWER." I take it this is a compliment?

I pushed off the ground, landing on my slightly crouched legs. My heels absorbed the shock. I ducked my head in a small bow, winking at him cheekily. "I'll make sure to tell Kakashi-kun that you saved me from such a bad situation."

"OF COURSE."

I curtsied, smiling warmly at both Lee and Guy. It was true, they were rather annoying, but before the accident I lived with four siblings, a chihuahua and my parents. Truthfully, they didn't bother me that much.

"Bye-bye! Maybe next time we can train together, yeah?" I called, crouching down and jumping in the direction of the lake where I had left Aerie. I tripped halfway there, suddenly realizing what I had just said. 'Yeah.'

THERE IS WAS AGAIN.

I had to mentally shove that thought out of my head, before I ended up in the hospital for running into a fucking tree at high speeds. Being the idiot I am, that's a possibility, and I bet Kakashi wouldn't even blink.

When I reached the riverbank, I found Aerie sitting in the brushes, her bright white tail sticking out. "Aerie!" I called, kneeling down next to the brush with my hand outstretched.

To my surprise, Aerie came out with a very large black Adder (also called a Northern Viper). I didn't think they grew bigger than three feet or so. This one was big enough that if I picked it up and held it over my head it would still probably drag three feet.

"I see you made a friend while I was gone, Aerie." I held out my hand, letting her run up my arm and over my chest to wrap around my middle like usual. I looked back at the giant viper. "Hello, darling."

The viper gazed at me with slitted red eyes. "Pleassssure to meet you, SsuSssaeki Emilie."

I started, twitching ever so slightly. My body was too tense to do much else, being that I knew making sudden movements would most likely tick it off. He talks. Of course he talks, I'm in the ninja-verse. Why wouldn't he talk?

"Do you have a name?"

"Naoki, missssstresss." The snake leaned its large black head forward, licking the tip of my nose with his feathery tongue. Well, I would assume he's a boy, considering its name is 'Naoki' and not Naomi. Doesn't that mean honest? I thought about it.

"If I may, misssstressss, I would like to ssssstay with Aerie. I have taken a liking to her." He asked quite politely, his purple tongue still moving across my face, fangs dangerously close to my face.

I rubbed the top of Aerie's head, remembering that not so long ago, she also lost her best friend. A little ferret named Moonshine that stayed in May's dimension.

"Can you fight, Naoki-san?" I had an idea, although I wasn't sure if I really wanted to be known for owning snakes. It seemed a little... Candy from a creeper in a big van-ish to me for whatever reason. Hmmmm.

He gently rubbed one fang against my cheek, showing me his self control, I suppose. "Of coursssse, misssstressss. You do not become asssss large assss I, without learning to fight."

"Naoki-san, would you be willing to sign a contract with me? Be warned I cannot guarantee your safety, although if you join Aerie and I, I will protect you as my own." I activated my Sharingan, lightly placing my small hand on the snake's large head.

"Pleasssse just Naoki, misssstressss Uchiha. I would honored if you would become my masssster."

I nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "Come then, Naoki. I'll get a contract scroll from the hokage, and you shall not be separated from Aerie. Oh, and I would appreciate if you only called me Uchiha in the presence of Kakashi, who you will meet later, or the hokage. Others in this village are not aware of my heritage."

Something about Naoki made me want to speak formally.

"How heavy are you, darling?" I patted Naoki's large black head, taking in his size. For the first time, I noticed what a pretty color he was. He was an almost purple shade of black, and a stripe from his eye back and his underbelly was a shadowed pure white, only patches of black interrupting the color.

"About twenty kilograms, misssstressss Uchiha." About forty three pounds.

I nodded, holding out my arm. "Come then, I can carry you around my waist, Aerie my arm please."

He looked uncertain, but he did as I said, slowly slithering up my legs to circle my waist several times. Aerie rested her head on the inside of my wrist, hissing in happiness. I laughed at her overjoyed response to having another snake around.

Naoki shimmied the top part of his long body up to my neck, circling once before laying his head just over my heart. I leaned down, kissing him gently, before taking to the trees towards the hokage's tower.

I reached it within five minutes, noticing that I had a light layer of sweat round my waist where Naoki rested. Little bit of a work out, huh?

Apparently, I had chosen just the right moment to show up. They were sitting in a large room, where a woman was cuddling a cat to her chest in the awkwardly. Get a room, much?

Team 7 was also there, waiting for another mission I guess. I ran to Kakashi's side, lightly tugging on the edge on his jacket. "Kakashi-kun! Look!" I whispered, trying not to interrupt the hokage.

"I see you've been spending time with Guy..." He looked me up and down, brushing the hair out of my eyes with the tips of his fingers. "And you found a new friend."

I smiled, my heart fluttering in my chest oddly. "Naoki, this is Kakashi-kun. Copycat-kun, this is Naoki. I'm sighing a contract with him."

"NO, NO, NO. I want a real mission, old man! I'm a real ninja now!" Naruto yelled, his adorable little face livid.

I chuckled to myself, watching Kakashi's expression. If I had a guess, he was probably thinking about the talking to he'll get for this later. Naruto continued to yell about being a real ninja.

I zoned out, settling down on the floor against Kakashi's legs.

"Issss he your lover, misssstresss Uchiha?" Naoki asked quietly, flicking Kakashi's pant leg with his head.

I glanced at Sasuke, who was watching the snake and I intently with narrowed eyes. Maybe he thought we were talking about him? Hopefully. "Naoki, please. The boy does not know."

"Apologiessss, Milady."

"It's alright, darling, but it would be quite the shock. He thinks all his family were killed in a massacre, committed by his own older brother." I whispered low enough that Kakashi didn't even have a prayer of hearing me.

Naoki glanced at Susake again, hissing as quietly as a snake really could. "And why wassss he sssspared, missstressss?"

"Love, my dear," I told him, glancing at the black haired boy on question. Actually, I had no idea why Itachi let him live, but love was my best guess.

"How ssssweet." Naoki slithered off my neck, settling his head in my lap instead. Aerie slipped off my wrist, cuddling closer to the giant snake. They looked at each other, hissing in what I assumed was the national language of snakes.

I leaned my head back on Kakashi's leg, closing my eyes. Only seconds later, a familiar blonde was poking my cheek, much to Naoki's displeasure.

The large viper was hissing volatility at him when I cracked my eyes open. "Sssstop touching Lady Uch-Ssssussssaeki." My viper demanded, looking about ready to clamp down on the boys hand.

I scratched the top of his head affectionately, shaking my head. "It's fine, dear one. He is a friend. An annoying friend, sometimes, but that's another story."

Naruto twitched, standing up slowly. The hokage chuckled, before saying loudly, "Bring in our guest."

The door opened, revealing a pudgy old man with what appeared to be a bottle a sake that he was guzzling.

I sniffed the air, sure enough. Sake. Loser. I closed my eyes again.

"You got a bunch of kids to protect me? And who's the short one with the idiotic look on his face and the lazy ass sleeping one." Hey. He stole my nickname for Shikamaru. _Uncool_, but I could care less what he thought about me.

Naruto laughed. "Who's the short one?"

I didn't need to open my eyes to see Naruto put two and two together and get four. I did however, have to open my eyes when Kakashi abandoned me to hold Naruto back from demolishing him. His words, not mine.

Lazily standing up, I glanced at the man, and then back at Kakashi. "What the hell, man? You're comfy! Come baaaaack." I groaned, holding out my arms for him to come back.

Kakashi looked up at me, raising one eye brow. I shrugged, putting my arms back down slowly.

Naruto continued to struggle, mumbling about ramen and drunken old men.

Sighing dramatically, I leisurely made my way to the hokage's table thing. "You got an contract scroll I can use? Pretty please?"

He smiled, nodding. "I have a few in storage closest. You can come get them later. For now, I have a D-rank calling your name."

I groaned, "Really? There's no blood and guts in D-ranks!"

Naoki made a hissing noise of agreement, nodding his large head. "Yessss. The misssstressss issss correct. We sssshould get an Ssss-rank missssion insssstead."

The hokage's eyes widened, taking in the giant, talking snake. "Where did you find this creature, Lie-chan?"

"Aerie befriended him. I'm not sure where he was staying exactly." I shrugged, petting him affectionately.

"I travel." Naoki leaned upward, rubbing the top of his head against my cheek.

The hokage watched our display, still puffing on his pipe. "And what of your... Outfit?"

"Guy. My sundress got wet. I was practicing chakra control."

"I see."

Kakashi wrapped one arm around my waist, kissing the top of my head, "You're staying with Iruka while I'm gone."

Naoki hissed at him, "Releasssse the misssstressss."

"It's fine, dear one. Kakashi-kun is just a touchy person. Why am I saying with Iruka?" I glanced at him questionably.

"You're a girl, staying alone in a town full of ninja's, I'd rather you stay with someone I trust." He explained somewhat nervously, scratching the back of his head.

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "I lived in a town full of perverts for a year and a half by myself. I don't need to stay with Iruka because you're leaving for a few days."

Kakashi just sighed.


	12. Chapter 12! May's sucky birthday!

**I'm so sorry! I had the last two chapter typed up for like a week, and I thought I posted them, but apparently I didn't? Anyway, thank you to all my sweet reviewers and silent readers! **

**Kiba; kiss ass. **

**Me; You know what? GET OUTTA HERE. You're not even this chapter, doggy. **

**Kiba; What are you gonna do about it? **

**Me; HIDA-CHAN! Teach the doggy some manners! **

**Hidan; Why should I, bitch? And stop calling me fucking 'Hida-chan'!**

**Me; Sasori is still an option for May, ya know. *Both Jenna and Sasori grin maliciously* Yup. Still an option. **

**Hidan; ...fine. COME HERE, DOGGY. **

* * *

Kakashi knows me too well. He really, really does. He knows me so well, in fact, he knew the easiest way to get me to go along with his little plan was to bribe me with my biggest weakness.

Pokey.

I took another bite, glancing around the apartment. Iruka was doing... Something. I'm not really sure. Anyway.

Kakashi and I struck a deal, he would pay for a month worth of my pokey addiction, and I would be a good roommate. I did manage to convince him that it would be fine if Iruka just checked on me every few hours. He also gave me a handy dandy map of how to get to his his, which was about three blocks away.

I was sprawled across my couch, reading a romance novel that Kakashi had thrown at my head. So far, there hasn't been anything questionable, but I doubt I can make it through the whole book without at least one sex scene, keeping in mind that is Kakashi.

Naoki was wrapped around my left leg, hissing to Aerie in snake language. My head was ringing a little, which for the moment, I just pushed back.

It was a bad choice on my part.

"Son of a chicken." May glowered at her older brother, shoving him to the floor playfully. She had lost at the only game Jake had a chance to best her in, Poképark. She just sucked at the mini-games! "You know, it's really not nice to beat me on my birthday!"

"Ha! It's my birthday too, loser. You owe me ten bucks, Nick! I told you I could beat her!" Jake yelled from his spot on the floor, smiling brightly.

May glared at him, rolling her eyes. "Five of those are mine, you jerk."

He put his hands in the air, "Oh.. I'm so scared!" Being the lovely little sister she is, May tackled him back down to the floor, pining his heads above his head and sitting on his waist. "What was that, yummy birdy? Did you volunteer as tribute for my lunch?"

Jake struggled under his sister, paling slightly. "Dammit May. Get off me. I'm sure Asher will jump at the chance of a bite."

May leaned forward, kissing his forehead gently before standing back up, pulling Jake with her. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You know I don't like anyone but Eric."

Her triplet smiled, deep brown eyes sparkling as he pulled on a braided strand of her super long hair. She had it up today, intricately wrapped into a crown on the top of her head. "You know, for how much you brag about being free as a bird, you sure restrict yourself a whole lot."

"I love him. I don't want to hurt him." May replied tenderly, blushing at the mention of her sort of boyfriend. They'd known each other for almost a year and a half now, because just after May met Emilie, she met Eric.

_I love him so much._ She told herself, shoving the thought of her Perfect, Clinton to the back of her mind.

May held the idea of "Perfects" in very high regard, although she doesn't obey it herself. The story of May and Clinton is long and confusing, and by the end of it, May decided that maybe someday they could try again, but right now she wasn't available.

She struggled with this decision everyday, and being the best friend she was, May vowed to help Emilie be happy with her Perfect.

She was an idiot like that.

Jake leaned down, kissing her cheek gently, "But, if he hurts you..."

May cringed, trying not to blurt out what she had so badly wanted to tell him. She wanted very much to tell her brother's about Emilie's adventure to the ninjaverse and what she had learned about the Akatsuki... And Hidan.

The last one was probably just to brag though.

_Why do you make me sound so naughty? _

**Stop breaking the forth wall! God. Get back to doing what batgirls do. **

May blinked, feeling a twinge in the right side of her skull. _What the heck?_ She focused on the pain, narrowing it down to a certain pink haired best friend's thread.

She frowned, realizing what was happening almost instantly. _Best birthday _ever, May thought sarcastically.

"Uhh, Jake, I'm going to go sleep a little earlier today, kay?" She nervously ran out, hoping fervently that she still had Emilie's medication tucked in her backpack. She had thought about throwing it away, considering she hadn't needed it in the four months she's been there.

The long haired batgirl hurriedly grabbed her purse, searching the empty pockets for medication.

Jolly Ranchers. Gum. Pads. Water bottle. Lipgloss. Sparkly pocket knife. Flask of questionable contents. Vitamins. Two hundred cash. Spare handgun. A few stray quarters. A fortune cookie?

"What the heck?!" May growled frustratedly, the feeling in the back of her head increasing steadily.

Finally, after what felt like years, May found the tiny box. She pressed it against her throat, concentrating her entire being on that tie to Emilie and the box clutched in her small hands.

_Crackle_.

Just like that, there was no more box. May sighed in relief, hoping that she had actually gotten it right. She then slipped into an unconscious like state, shoving her soul into the Ninjaverse.

The girl appeared in a flurry of glitter, which she quickly dispersed with a flick of her great wings. May spotted Emilie laying on the floor next to a large unfamiliar snake, writhing in pain.

"My baby!" The older girl cried, dropping to her knees in front of the semi-conscious girl. She looked at the snake, hoping blindly that it was one of the talking animals from this dimension. "How long has she been like this?"

"Lessssss than ten minutessss. The misssstressss complained of dull pain earlier. Are you May?" The snake glanced nervously at his mistress.

"Yes. Where the bloody hell is Kakashi!?" Her British side was coming out.

"Missssssion. Lady Uchiha wassss to talk to Iruka if a problem arissssessss." The snake slithered closer, trying to find useful something to do.

Lady Uchiha, as the snake called her, had both hands bent into claws, her legs stretched out, and her chest off the ground. Her entire body was rigid with pain.

May gave Naoki a sympathetic look, and slammed her palms onto Lie's shoulders, shoving the writhing girl back to the ground. Lie struggled against the smaller girl, making pitiful whimpering noises. Now that she wasn't in immediate danger of accidentally hurting herself, May glanced around the apartment, quickly spotting the medication on the floor about five feet away.

She made a small noise, glancing at her best friend with pain filled eyes. She couldn't just let her go, she'd start trashing again, but she couldn't prepare the medication without letting go of her.

Iruka!

"Snake that I don't know the name of! Did Iruka tell you guys where he lived?"

"T-table!" Lie groaned, trying to be of some use.

"I am called Naoki, Lady May. The missstressss issss correct."

May smiled slightly, looking at the worried snake. "I need you to hold her semi-still while I get Iruka. I have medicine that will help her, but it takes some work to prepare and I can't have her hurting herself even more."

The snake nodded, "Anything for the missstressss. The map issss on the table."

The batgirl ran as fast as she could to the table, scrambling to find the neat slip of paper. Three blocks away. Okay. May calmly tucked the paper into her pocket, darting out the door.

She raced to Iruka's place, barely slowing down enough to prevent running into the door. May reached up, knocking as quickly as she could.

To say Iruka was surprised to see a panicky girl with bat wings pounding on his door in the middle of the night is an understatement. He didn't even have time to react before she was yanking him into the air.

She made it almost the entire journey with one jump, Iruka dangling loosely in her arms.

May sent him a million watt smile as they landed, eyes still bright and fear filled. "Well, come on! Kakashi'll have your head as it is. We don't need to give him anymore reason, right?"

The chunin blinked, clearly not understanding as he was violently pulled into Kakashi's house.

Upon seeing Lie still struggling in the floor, he glared at May. "What did you do?"

She picked the box up for the floor, yanking off the top. "Nothing. She gets migraines. This is called psychomuscular spasming, caused by extreme pain. Hold her down before she hurts herself!"

Iruka did as instructed, trying to hold the extremely strong jonin down as she fought with all her might. "Why is she... Like this then?"

May glanced up, pain written across her doll like face. "In theory, she's fighting off the pain in her head. At least, she thinks she is. It just makes it worse though, don't let her touch her hair. She'll yank it out. She's had these types of headaches for a long time, but after her parents died they got worse."

"Isn't there something to make it stop?"

"Well, duh. Why the heck would I need you here if there wasn't? I'm not playing over here!" May growled, turning her attention back to the syringe in her hands.

Iruka didn't have entire to ask anymore questions, as Lie launched into another round of trashing, trying desperately to get away from the pain. She was panting, sweat lightly covering her, but she still remained completely rigid, every muscle in her body stretched taunt.

The batgirl made a noise of accomplishment, quickly sitting next to Iruka and Lie. She gave Iruka a hard look, "She will try and kick. Be very careful."

He nodded, wondering what the girl was planning in doing.

May kissed the top of her head, knowing this would hurt like a bitch.

She clutched the syringe tightly in her palm, trying to pick the best place. Left leg, she finally decided. Easiest access and the weaker of her two legs. Just in case she tried kicking.

May didn't give any warning before jamming the delicate needle into Lie's exposed leg.

Lie screamed.

Ignoring the pain that the sound caused her, May held the needle down, giving it time to enter her blood stream.

"It burnssss!" Emilie snarled, voice hoarse from whimpering. Her leg stayed in place, however, as if nailed to the floor by the tiny needle in her thigh.

"Shhh. It'll be okay. No more pain okay?" May answered, pulling the needle out carefully. She herself cringed, hating how viciously she had to put in the needle.

Iruka gave May a horrified look, watching as Lie struggled to keep from making anymore noise.

"It's the only medication that works. I hate it, but it'll take away the pain in a sixth of the time the same medication in a pill form takes. She screams becuase when it feels as if there's a fire in the injection site." May explained dully, tears falling from her gray eyes silently.

It hurt her more to see Emilie in pain then to experience actual pain.

May waited, watching Emilie wearily. Naoki slowly crawled into the batgirls shoulders, hissing quietly, "Thank you for helping missstressss."

Iruka brushed a piece of pink hair out of her eyes, a slight blush dusting his scarred face.

_Three minutes. Then everything was gonna get weird._ May decided, still keeping a worried eye on Lie. "My name is May. You're Iruka-sensei, right?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

He nodded, looking mildly surprised, "How do you know my name?"

May shake her head, a heartbreaking smile lighting up her pale face. "I know a lot of things I shouldn't, Ruka-kun. Lie-chan doesn't though. I'm very protective in that sense."

Naoki glanced up, gazing at the odd girl. "Why do you protect the missstressss? Issss sssshe important to you?"

"Extremely."

May leaned forward, gently pulling Lie into her lap. "She's the most important person to me. I love her with all my heart. I'll never let anybody hurt my Lie ever again. Never." She tugged on the bottom of her loose T-shirt, revealing the many sliver scars scratched across it. "Not even herself." I

ruka watched this display of affection silently, trying to figure out what sort of relationship they had. Kakashi had said she didn't have a boyfriend, but... May wouldn't be called a boyfriend.

"Where's Kakashi exactly?"

Iruka blinked, "Umm. He's doing a mission with his genin, escorting a bridge builder."

Lie's eyes suddenly opened, the pupils completely dilated and shining ruby. May just hoped Iruka didn't notice. Lie shifted her head to look up, nearly kissing May in the process. She then asked, completely serious, "MayMay? Do sharks lay eggs like normal fishes?"

May giggled, running a hand through Emilie's pink hair. "I believe they have live births. Don't quote me on it though.

"Iruka-kun, please don't take anything she says past this pint seriously. It's the medication. She'll be a little out of it for about three hours, but it'll block the pain for another nine." May assured him, smiling.

"Why is Iruka-kun over here anyway? Where's Copykitty!? Is he okay?" Lie struggled to stand up, swaying on her feet when she finally got up.

May wrapped her arm around her waist, steadying her. "He's fine. Chill out."

"I feel like a fishy!" Iruka stood up, watching the drugged jonin nervously. He nodded to the door, silently telling the batgirl he was leaving.

May grinned in return, mouthing the words 'thank you'.

"Hey! May! Why does my face feel funny?" Lie demanded, stomping her foot like a child.

"Don't know, deary. Probably becuase you're higher than a kite, but it could be anything." May lead her into the kitchen, already anticipating her next question. She started making chocolate milk without waiting.

Lie bite her lip, looking around in confusion. "Can Lie have some chocolate milk, please?" May rolled her eyes, handing her the coffee cup, and grabbing a kunai out of her hand. She then proceeded to unstrap Lie's side pouches and put them on top of the fridge.

Lie pouted. "MayMay, do you know where Itachi-kun is? I miss him!"

The batgirl have a startled laugh, shooting her bestfriend a confused smile. "Would you like me to go fetch him for you?"

"Yeah! Yeah! Please? I miss him, and DeiDei-kun!" Lie giggles, sipping her chocolate milk. She made an over dramatic moan of approval.

May smirked. "I want you to go lay down then, okay? Don't move till I get back."

Lie quickly nodded. "Okay! Lie is a good listener!"

_I'm going to punch her lights out if she even thinks about saying Lie is a good girl,_ May growled to herself.

May personally thought Tobi was kind of cute in the beginning, but then he gets all creepy, and BAM. I don't like you anymore.

_Well, that went better than expected_. May thought, carefully watching as Emilie crawled into the closest bed, which happened to be Kakashi's. It normally took her a few tries to get her to go to sleep.

But.

May was serious about getting Itachi. She didn't necessarily not trust Iruka, but Itachi was probably the better option, even if he was an S-rank. "Naoki! I'm going to get a better babysitter, because I'm running low on energy. I won't be able to stay here much longer, but when help comes, tell them that the medication is already prepared and if needed, just stab her with it." May ordered the snake.

Naoki nodded, crawling into the bedroom to monitor his master.

May was serious about being low on energy, being that she hadn't fed before attempting a dimension jump. At least, not recently. It was about three days ago that she had last fed, and it wasn't even good blood. It was just AB+ full human.

The batgirl concentrated, quickly locating one of Lie's blood ties. Hopefully it was Itachi's and not Susake's because that would be awkward to explain.

Bam!

May glanced around, noticing that she seemed to be in a living room of sorts. Several people were lounging on couches, including Itachi. She also noticed the kunai pressed against her throat. Well, that was fast. It was the Akatauki, though... Huh.

"Get off." The batgirl remained completely calm, waiting for whoever the hell it was to realize who they were messing with. She absentmindedly sighed, placing her hand on top of her head, being that she couldn't run it through when it was braided like this.

"Seriously. Get off me. Only Hida-chan is allowed to play with kunai and me. God." She snarled, reaching under her skirt to grab her always present handgun. She pulled it out silently, pouting all the while.

The person behind her let go, finally. May glanced back, sending the culprit, who happened to be Zetsu, a harsh glare. "Next time I'll blow your face off, buddy." She snarled, pointing the gun in his direction.

"With that? **Oh, please.**" Zetsu snickered.

Maybe they just didn't know what a gun was. May raised an eyebrow, aiming so it would shoot right past him.

She fired, watching in amusement as Zetsu's eyes widened and he jerked away.

Damn ninja senses.

The bullet lodged itself in the stone wall, leaving a decent sized hole and sending several chunks of rock their way. May flipped open a wing, blocking the debris.

"And that's just my handgun." She said dryly, turning away from the plant like man. She nodded at Itachi, "Hiya."

"What are you here for? Aside from threatening dangerous criminals." He replied dully.

No small talk. Smooth, she remarked in her head. May rolled her eyes, throwing her gun in the air boredly. "How fast can you get to Konohagakure? Kakashi's fighting Zabuza and I don't really trust Iruka to take care of Lie properly."

She held up a dainty hand at Kisame, who looked about ready to say something. "And yes. I mean Seven Swordsmen of the Mist Mo-whatever the hell Zabuza. He and his partner get thier asses kicked by genin." She told him.

It was safe to say May's no swearing rule was mute. Zetsu was annoying and the batgirl was thirsty.

Kisame frowned in confusion.

"What's wrong with Lie, hmm?" Deidara spoke up, looking a little too worried for a casual bystander.

May smirked knowingly, tucking her gun back into her black lace garter. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

The blonde scowled, "Well, duh, yeah. I just asked, didn't I?"

She ignored him. "Itachi-san. Let's go. I took away her weapons, but I really don't want to leave her alone in this state." Her expression crumpled, picturing all the things Lie could do in the time she's been gone.

Itachi blinked, "I'll ask Leader-sama." May clapped her hands, jumping on Itachi's back as he stood up. She automatically tuned into his thoughts, and started talking to him. _'She's basically high right now, okay? So I need you to keep her out of trouble until the medication wears off and she feels better. If after about nine hours she starts complaining about pain in her head, you'll need to give her another shot. She _will_ scream. _

_Don't let her eat too much, and no coffee. I would stay, but I'm running low on energy and if I push myself the results could be fatal. Got it? This's hope mess is all caused by these migraines she gets. They're the most painful thing you can imagine. Anyway, thanks.' _

Pushing herself can cause death. She wasn't lying about that, but she could probably stay for another few hours. May just couldn't stand watching Lie in pain. There were better things she could be doing while in the ninjaverse. Like Hidan.

"You're a telepath?"

May nodded, jumping to the floor gracefully. "Only using psychical touch. Otherwise, I can onto sense emotions. My brother Nick controls elements, and Jake has a knack for hypnotism. They can both teleport, although I can cross dimensional barriers."

"Hn."

May hesitated shortly before continuing, "I can see the ties too, sometimes. The ties everyone has to other people. That's how I knew Emilie had relatives in this dimension. I also knew that she'd find her Perfect."

"Perfect?"

The hallway they were walking down felt endless, May noted. "Everyone has someone they belong with yeah? That person that's meant to 'complete' you and drive you crazy at the same time. You can go many lifetimes without meeting them, but everyone has one. Lie's is somewhere in this dimension.

"In fact," May smiled slyly. "She's already met him. Neither of them know it though, because they're dumb."

"Why don't you just tell them?"

"Is it really true love if you know you're supposed to fall for them?" May asked, her thoughts flickering to a certain batboy with golden brown eyes and the cutest accent.

"Hn." Itachi replied, suddenly looking to be in deep thought.

May allowed him to remain quiet, her own thoughts consumed by the idea of her own Perfect.

Itachi stopped, knocking on a large door to the right of them. The batgirl trailed him slowly, noticing that Pein was calmly sitting in a desk chair, watching them carefully.

He nodded to May upon noticing her, waiting for her to explain.

"I need to request Itachi leave the base for a day. Lie is experiencing a migraine, and Kakashi is away for a mission with his genin."

"Why does this require Itachi?"

"May I show you?" She asked, holding her hand out. Leader nodded, clearly not understanding. May leaned forward, placing her small hand on the Leaders forehead gently.

He blinked in surprise as a series of memories filled his head, most of them including either Emilie thrashing in pain, or her ditzily asking for something. "Hmm... I suppose so. Itachi, you will help the girl until she is back to full strength, and then return to the base." Leader-sama told him, still receiving information from May.

Itachi quickly left the room, leaving the batgirl and Leader to their own devices.

She showed him several displays of Lie's fighting, and various times May was unable to save her from being tested on. Showing the Leader Lie's strength. May threw in a few happy ones too, figuring that it wouldn't hurt anything.

Finally, she backed away, watching Pein guardedly. "See? It would be in everyone's best interest to keep her alive." She bowed slightly, turning to leave.

"...I'll think about it." Leader replied, just before the door closed.

May smiled in relief, lazily walking to a room she was all too familiar with. _It is my birthday..._ She barged in without a second thought, not bothering with formalities.

"What the fuck?" Hidan growled, not looking up from where he appeared to be reading a bible about Jashin on a desk chair. He wasn't even wearing his cloak, just that _annoying_ pair of pants, May thought irritably.

She pouted. "What the hell happened to 'happy nineteenth birthday, May!' Seriously. You suck."

Hidan looked up, smiling wickedly. "Well... I didn't expect fucking you."

She sauntered closer, gracefully sitting down on the bed with a equally wicked grin on her face. "Well... That's kind of the point." She laid back, loving the super soft pillows. "I was serious about it being my birthday, by the way."

"Who said I wanted you?" Hidan teased, standing up slowly and stretching his arms above his head. May enjoyed admiring his body more than she would admit. However, she didn't try to hide the fact she was checking him out.

"There's always Sasori-Danna if you don't wanna play." She smirked, reaching behind her head to unravel the many braids Nick's fiancé had so painstakingly made and pinned for her. Hidan complimented her hair last time.

The Jashinist cackled with laughter, walking closer purposely ultra slowly. He's trying to drive me crazy! May growled internally. "You bitch. We both know you wouldn't want that puppet."

May shrugged, flicking one of Lie's shuriken in his direction. "Maybe, maybe not. Now come over here and wish your master a happy birthday!" She growled.


	13. Chapter 13! High as a kite

**Me; ehhh! I'm so sorry for taking forever to update! I pinky promise you won't have to wait so long for the next chapter, though so, don't be too sad! And I swear the next chapter will be fun**.

**May; How? I'm not going to be in it! **

**ME; You're to busy doing... Stuff. **

**Hidan; What kind of stuff? Why aren't I involved?**

**Me; Shush up and let Whiskers do the disclaimer. **

**Naruto; How the hell did I get here in the first place? Oh well, Yeah, Jenna doesn't own Naruto or any of the characters, believe it! If she did, there'd be some serious problems.. **

**Me; I'm offended...**

* * *

"Ita-kun!" Susaeki Lie yelled happily, nearly jumping into the S-ranked clan murderers arms. "MayMay said she would go get you!"

She also made Emilie promise not to get up until Itachi came home, but clearly, that was not not case. She had a large cut on her forehead to prove it. Her Sharingan was also active for whatever reason, giving her a slightly crazed look.

_May is going to kill me_, Itachi thought grimly. Hell hath felt no fury like angry May Bee.

"What did you do?" He asked slowly, gently prodding the shallow cut.

Lie flinched, covering the cut protectively with an adorable pout on her face, "Ita-kun! Don't touch it! It hurts Lie!"

_And she's speaking in the third person... Like_ Tobi.

"Misssstressss Uchiha, pleasssse be more careful while in thissss sssstate." Naoki sighed, watching the new comer suspiciously.

Itachi stiffened, looking at the snake nervously. Not that it showed on the outside though. Snakes had the uncanny ability to remind him of Orochimaru.

Lie smiled brightly, leaning down to pick up the huge creature. "Naoki! This is my cousin, Itachi-kun!" She smiled, "He's my cousin."

"I know, missstresss Uchiha. There'ssss no misssstaking hissss eyessss." The snake replied wisely, flicking his tongue over her cut. "Ssssstay sssstill."

The elder Uchiha narrowed his eyes, looking for any signs the snake was planning on hurting the drugged konoichi before him. Surprisingly, he did nothing of the sort, instead just continuing to lick her cut until it healed over completely.

A... Medic snake. _Weird_. "Hn."

Naoki glanced coldly at him with his blood red eyes, "Misssstressss Uchiha had done that thricccce ssssince Lady May left. It issss getting to be draining."

Lie giggled, wrapping her arms lightly around the snake. "Thank you, Naoki. I love you so, so, so much!"

Her head snapped up, giving Itachi a horrified look, "Don't worry, Ita-kun! I love you too! Okay, don't be jealous of Noaki."

Itachi nodded, realizing the only rational conversation he might have all night was with an over sized viper.

"Can Lie have some chocolate milk? MayMay made me some earlier, but I drank it all." The next princess of the Susaeki clan asked politely, while playing with a shuriken she must've found in Kakashi's room. For a sixteen year old, she wasn't very good at handling drugs.

Itachi glanced at the coffee table, where May had 'shown' him where the second syringe would be. He picked it up, looking at the small amount of thick liquid. "How can such little medication make you like this?"

"The actual medication is only .5 milligrams. The rest of the 6 grams is a saline compound meant to dilute it enough so it isn't harmful to humans. Sasori could probably tell you whether or not it's make a proper poison," Lie snuck up behind him, her voice surprising him slightly.

She was very fast. Not to mention she suddenly answered him with a rational answer and not a mindless question. "Are you not drugged anymore?"

"Whatever do you mean, dear one?" She laughed, her voice still softer and lighter than usual.

Maybe... The drug May hit her with has more to it than making her act like a female Tobi. "Why... Do you call me that?" Itachi asked slowly, testing out a theory.

"Because you're dear to me, Itachi-sama. I can't imagine if I had run into one of the other Akatsuki that they would have the restraint and the compassion to allow me to live when I met you the first time, not to mention when I was cuddling you in my sleep! Plus, I just feel... Okay around you. Like everything's gonna be alright. It might not be prefect, but it'll be good... In the end."

Itachi said nothing, not only becuase he was a famous silent type, but he just couldn't think of anything to say. He slowly reached out, gently running his hand over the length if her face, where she had acquired a new very shallow cut.

Lie smiled. "Itachi-sama? Can have some chocolate milk now?"

"Hn." The missing nin nodded, trying not to look at her bright red Sharingan eyes.

_She is probably the only female Uchiha left,_ he thought suddenly. _I wonder if... Like Sasuke, she would try to repopulate the clan._ His nose almost wrinkled at the thought.

That lucky son of a bitch better treat her right or he'll have the Akatsuki on his ass.

Well, most of it. Itachi and Kisame obviously. They were sucked into her captivating personality the day she asked them for coffee. Deidara, becuase of jealously. Sasori, although unwilling to admit it, had taken a liking to her formal and gracious attitude after he fixed a simple splint for the girl. Tobi is a good boy. Zetsu likes that she was okay with the cannibalism thing, and wouldn't be opposed to getting fresh kill. Annnnnnd Hidan, becuase he's basically May's bitch. Plus, we could always bribe Kakuzu.

_What a nice list_. Itachi gave a signature Uchiha smirk.

As the narrator of this story, I have to point out, I'm pretty sure he's the only person ever to make that expression look incredibly sexy while making a sixteen year old pinkette a glass of chocolate milk. It should really be illegal.

Jus sayin.

There was a loud noise to his right, where Lie had accidentally dropped her plate on the floor.

Itachi sighed, telling her to stop moving for a second, as Naoki was serious about not wanting to heal her anymore.

Kakashi had the cheap kind of plates that shattered into tiny little pieces when you dropped them, but for him, it really wasn't an issue. He was a ninja after all. He didn't think he'd have to deal with a drugged roommate.

Itachi picked her up, one arm behind her knees and the other supporting her shoulders. He set her back down on Kakashi's bed, giving her a silent order to stay put until he came back with the milk. He cleaned up the mess with ninja speed, and hurriedly walked back to the room, plastic cup full of milk in his hand.

Itachi sighed happily when he saw that Lie hadn't moved from her place on the bed, although she was now reading...

"Dammit." He muttered to himself, recognizing the book as one of Kakashi's 'adult' books.

She looked up innocently, throwing the book across the room with a grin. "Ita-sama! Can... Can Lie have milk now?" How she managed not to blush was a mystery.

He handed it to her, quietly settling into the bed next to her. Lie finished off the milk within thirty seconds of receiving it.

She then curled shamelessly against the elder Uchiha, laying her head across his chest. She quickly succumbed to the urging in her head to go to sleep, promising a period of time without her face feeling weird and unbearable pain in her head.

To say I was surprised when I woke up, once again, curled up against Uchiha Itachi, was an understatement. Not only that, but there was a pair of arms wrapped around my waist from behind, while Itachi was calmly watching me.

"Kyah!" I jerked away.

I instantly regretted that decision however, when my head started to pound violently.

Whimpering slightly, I started mindlessly yanking on the pink strands. One hand flew to my neck, cutting off my air supply. My body moved without my consent, trashing and pushing down on my throat harder, trying to somehow make the pain go away. My free hand was now clawed and digging into the carpet with a vengeance.

"Misssstressss Uchiha, pleassssse sssstop choking yoursssself." Naoki begged.

I whined in response, making a very puppyish noise in the back if my throat.

"Lie-chan, it's going to okay. Don't move though." I recognized the voice, but I didn't know who it was.

I tried to listen to them, tried to get my body to stop moving, but as soon as my arms became still, I was trembling and itching to move again.

Another voice I recognized sighed, gently ordering, "Kisame, hold her down. She needs the shot."

Shot!?

"No! Lie no like shot! It burnssss!" I mewed, panic starting to overwhelm any other emotion. The shot was scary and it burned and it made me loss control! Lie doesn't like not being in control of her own body!

Someone grabbed both my hands, pinning them above my head and another hand locked my left leg in place.

I growled, my body refusing to be kept in place. My neck stretched back and forth, trying to release the vicious pressure on my skull while my leg was looking for anything to make contact with.

The person holding me grunted, pressing a little harder on my leg. "Dammit, Itachi, check out her neck. She really bruised it, didn't she?"

Something cold brushed against my neck, and the first person spoke again, "Yes. Kukazu's strings would be helpful right about now. Make sure she can't move."

A sudden pressure on my left hip alerted me of his plan. I whimpered, trying with all my might to get away. "No, no, no! Lie doesn't like the shot!"

"Too bad, kid." The second voice told me. Kisame, I think. Kisame was nice. Before I had time to get away, the cold hand was locked down on my hip and the shot went off.

Instantly, my whole hip was burning painfully and I screamed, tears streaming down my face. "No... Lie does not like the shot." I moaned.

The shot was held on for an unbearable amount of time, making sure all the burning medicine got into my system. Almost hesitantly, the hands holding me released, and I was back to thrashing.

"When does it take effect?"

"May did not say. She told me Lie-chan would scream, and that it was caused by extreme pain. She'll also be rather.. Odd after the medicine takes effect."

I knew they were watching me carefully, but I really didn't care at the moment, because now my hip and head hurt.

Just a few seconds later an even worse feeling crawled up my back, red hit and prickling. My neck and the base of my skull were too hot. "Too hot." I whimpered, wishing the pain would just leave me.

My fingers relaxed slowly, as the pain started to become over come by the heat. My body no longer felt the need to thrash, and I stopped moving completely.

"And I take it meds have taken effect." Kisame remarked.

My eyes flew open, a large grin on my face. "Kisame!" I cheered, throwing my arms around the fish man.

"I agree." My favorite person in the world right now replied, watching me with dark eyes.

My own eyes widened with happiness. "Itachi-sama!" I tackled him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

Itachi allowed this, gently patting my back. "Are you okay now, Lie-chan?"

I giggled, burying my face in his cloak to inhale his scent. "Lie is always okay! Can I have chocolate milk though, please?"

"I can make you some if you get off." Itachi reasoned, trying to loosen my arms.

"...Yeah! But don't leave me. You gotta come back home for Lie." I demanded, stomping my foot. Part of me told me this was childish, but I wasn't really thinking straight.

Naoki crawled up my leg, giving the snake equivalent of a purr. "Misssstresss Uchiha is heathy now, so I must return to my new home." He told me, tongue flickering over my nose.

I smiled nodding, "Bye-bye Naoki, I promise I'll summon you for my next mission, yeah?"

He nodded, disappearing in a cloud of smoke. I held my breath, making my face like a fishy.

Wait.. My face!

"Kisame-sama? Why does my face feel funny?" I started poking my cheeks, noticing that they felt sore and stretched out.

Kisame shrugged, pulling my hands away. "I don't know. Drugs?"

"Kisame-sama? Do squids lay eggs like normal fishes you think?" My brows furrowed as I tried to figure this out

He sweatdropped, shaking his head. "Hey, Itachi! Do squids lay eggs like normal fishes?" He yelled over his shoulder. He started laughing. I was confused as ever, especially since he was laughing.

"Do they? Because they're kinda like fish, only not."

"Here's your milk." Itachi handed me a cup, a ghost of a hint of a smile on his emotionless face.

"Oh, thank you so very much Itachi-sama!" I purred, taking a sip of the heavenly drink. I smiled in pure bliss, staring up at Itachi.

The black-haired missing nin looked at his partner, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "Are you trying to attract the entire ANBU unit of Konoha? It's bad enough that I was forced to come here."

Kisame shrugged, smiling cockily. "You were taking quite awhile, so Leader told me to just come over here so after she's good we can start the mission."

"Ita-sama? Why isn't he here?" I demanded, looking around for someone I knew wasn't in the room. I would've felt it if he were.

Itachi glanced at me, picking up the now empty glass of chocolate milk. "Why isn't who here, Lie-chan?"

My Sharingan activated, searching for any signs that Itachi or Kisame had been in contact with him. "My Perfect! Isn't he worried about me? Why didn't he come, Itachi-sama?" I sniffled, suddenly feeling like I would start bawling.

Kisame put his hand on my shoulder, now looking awkward and worried. "Don't start crying, kid. What's a Perfect anyway?"

I jumped up, smiling excitedly. "A 'Perfect' is based on the Perfect Match Principle of my world! Most times for people like me and May, our Perfects are specifically engineered to be with us. They're basically the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life, in that generation with! Like my Izuna. You know? Mine's not here right now though. That fucker."

Itachi shook his head, smirking. "Kisame, don't encourage her. Lie-chan, it's time for you to go to sleep."

My smile slipped off my face as I held my arms out for one if them to carry me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back to third person!

It was an unspoken law that both Itachi and Kisame will never mention this to anyone, ever. Not even Leader, because that's how embarrassing it was for them.

Lie had curled against Kisame's side, one of her legs thrown over his waist to keep him in place, but her hands were tangled in Itachi's cloak, preventing him from moving anywhere. It was rather awkward for both the shinobi, especially since whenever they tried to move she'd whimper and pull them closer.

Finally, they both got sick of it, and left her to cuddle Kakashi's blanket.

"Are you gonna leave a note or something?" Kisame asked, looking around casually.

Itachi shook his head, "Why?"

"Well, I figure Leader will eventually want her in the Akastsuki, and I know you don't want to be separated from her for any length of time. Leaving a time and a place for her to met up with us every.. Three months or so would keep us updated on her progress and if she gets caught and is forced out, that makes it easier." He shrugged, a tinge of pride for coming up with such a plan.

The black haired missing nin considered this, playing out all sorts of possible outcomes in his head.

His contemplating stopped with a whimpering noise from Kakashi's room. Both men tilted their heads in that direction, Kisame debating whether or not say fuck it and just to bring her back to base.

"Dei, don't leave!" The girl murmured, sounding like a lost puppy.

Kisame glanced back at his partner, grinning. "Have a heart, Itachi. Do you hear that? You know she'd be worried if we didn't keep in touch anyway."

"Why... Why aren't you with me?" The pink haired konoichi half growled and half whimpered. She continued to mutter questions in her sleep, all of them making no sense to her dear cousin.

The Uchiha narrowed his eyes, did she just say 'Dei' or 'Dee'? Itachi shook himself, deciding to ask Kisame about it later.

"Fine. But, you're offering your shoulder when she shows up crying after being accused of treason." He told his partner.

"Deal. Just give the girl some pocky and I'm sure she'll be fine. She's worse than you and _dango_."


	14. Chapter 14! The tiger doesn't talk

**Hidan; Why the hell aren't I in this entire damn chapter? You don't even mention my fucking name.**

**May; Master is equally offended, Hidan. It's okay. **

**Me; Don't worry I have a super special exclusively 'MayXHidan fluff' chapter planned out. **

**Hidan; Fluff?**

**May; I'd rather have blood, but whatever.**

**Me; Do the disclaimer and stop bitching.**

**May; If Jenna owned Naruto they'd all be locked in a closet. And don't you dare picture Hidan locked in a closet after I say that, got it? He's MINE. Don't even think about it, okay? **

* * *

I woke up alone, unsurprisingly. My mind was fuzzy and refused to work properly until after I took my shower and ate a quick breakfast.

On the table there was a shot note, from Itachi. It had an address for a restaurant in one of the small towns in the fire country and a date, one month from now. No name.

I supposed this was because he didn't want to anyone finding out he was here in the first place, but much like me, he didn't want to cut off all connections with me.

I smiled to myself, pressing the note against my chest. I had to make sure Kakashi didn't find this.

Aerie glanced up when I barged into my room, stuffing the note under my mattress. I picked the snake and my backpack up, dashing out. I also had to grab my ninja pouches, which for whatever reason on top of the fridge, and get dressed into my ninja gear.

Mission.

I promised myself I wouldn't get distracted while running to the hokage's office for my next mission, but I ended up having a pleasant chat with Tsume about the new pups one of their dogs had and buying four more boxes of pokey.

Jumping through Hokage's window, I apparently interrupted some sort of debriefing, but still I smiled sweetly and bowed, ignoring the other occupants in the room. "So, where's that mission you mentioned, hokage-sama?"

He threw a scroll at my head, puffing on his pipe. "Make sure you don't get any civilians and have fun." He turned back to the others, apologizing for me.

I darted out, settling on a rooftop to read the scroll carefully.

"_Several reports of gang activity have been recorded in this area... please exterminate any and all threats... Numerous murders... Kidnapping...A rank... Find out main goals if possible... Don't die_."

I shivered with excitement, grinning. "Yes!" I yelled, throwing my fist in the air.

Aerie glared, fangs brushing across my hip bone.

I was off and running without another word, darting through the streets at a break neck pace. Hana had also healed my ankle, so this didn't hurt in the slightest.

The map gave me precise directions to the rather nearby town, so if not for the fact I got lost for about an hour, I would've gotten there at about six.

At seven thirty I was strolling into a shady-looking hotel, I fingers curled around a kunai in my pouch and my Leaf headband carefully placed back in my pack. Them knowing I'm a ninja would make them nervous and less likely to spill their guts.

...Literally. _Mwa-hahaha!_

Maybe I still have a bit of headache drug in my system.

"Hey, darling. You want a room here for the night?" The man at the counter asked, smiling _ever-so-sweetly_- go back and read that in Effie Trinkets voice, because that's how it sounds in my head.

"Yes, please. I've been hearing some rumors about gangs and such 'round here. Makes me kind of nervous." I batted my eyes, making the most innocent expression I could manage.

The man nodded understandingly, "Yeah. I know. To tell you the truth, my old mans been worried too, becuase people aren't coming here as often with those rumors going around."

He handed me a check-in sheet, which I filled in while saying very casually, "Really? Have you heard anything about why they came here?"

"This is just what I've heard around the bar, but I'm pretty sure they're thinkin' a starting a drug operation over here. Nobodies gone against them yet becuase apparently their leader's a rogue ninja." He leaned forward, watching me carefully. "You aren't thinking of getting involved with them or entering, are you darling?"

I fluttered, shaking my head. "Oh, of course not!" I loosened my grip all the kunai, my fingers relaxing ever so slightly.

This man was either being completely honest or was a very good lair. He smiled again, "Okay. A lady like you shouldn't be looking for trouble. Tell you what, how about I take you out for to dinner later, and show you around town? I wouldn't want all this gang talk to scare you."

While I considered this, the hand resting my weapons pouch brushed up against something impossibly smooth and delicate. The tiger.

"E-eh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mislead you, but I'm in a relationship..." I blushed, looking away from the kind man. My heart was fluttering wildly in my chest, making every breath uncomfortable.

He smiled, slightly disappointed, but nonetheless handed me the keys to my room, "It's fine. I should've guessed it. You're in room one-oh-seven."

Should've guessed it? Really!?

"Thank you." I bowed my head slightly, darting to my room to get ready for a night of information gathering and drink sipping.

I couldn't risk getting drunk on an A rank assignment, and I knew this some sort of test the Hokage was giving me to see if I really could handle things other than a simple liaison job.

The first thing I did upon arriving to my room, was collapse on the bed. The second, was a sad excuse of an attempt to sort through my newfound emotions.

The tiger...

I pulled it out, glaring at the tiny clay creature with all my might. "What the hell?" I asked it. Yes, I asked the tiger, fully expecting a fricken answer.

It didn't answer.

Dammit.

"I want Kakigori." I told Naoki, who was talking to Aerie in snake language. **(A/N, kakigori is shaved ice topped with sugar and fruit juice. It's actually really yummy. They sell it on Mackinaw island too! Just in case you're ever in Michigan..)**

"Misssstressss, I sssstill do not undersssstand what in thissss missssion requiressss you to dye your beautiful pink hair." He hissed back, eyeing my critically with his red eyes.

Why a male snake cares...? "Aerie likessss the pink better." _Oh, that's why he doesn't like it. _

I fingered a strand of my midnight black hair, twisting it this way and that so that the light reflected off it. I kept several sections of my favorite pink, but now the main color was black.

"Naoki, that's the point. It has nothing to do with the mission. I just wanted a change. I've had pink hair since I was thirteen." I sighed, pulling on a dress over my protective mesh shirt and machete strapped to my back. Kakashi would have my head if I went out to investigate a gang without protection.

He would have my head if he knew I dyed my hair Uchiha black too...

I lied when I said their was no point to dying my hair. In the depths of my little black heart, there was a hope that by making myself look more Uchiha-ish, Sasuke might realize...

That... "I am Princess Emilie Susaeki Uchiha, dammit!"

Naoki and Aerie hissed, bobbing their heads. "We know, Lady Uchiha. We know. Are we going to sssstart that misssssion?"

I growled, picking them both up from the bed. "Let's go kill some motherfucking gangsters." I announced, much to the snakes embarrassment.

They hated it when I used 'unladylike' words. Aerie because of May, and Naoki because he likes to remind me I am, in fact, a 'Lady of the House.'

Whatever.

I jumped out the window, Naoki wrapped around my waist and Aerie on my arm. I let my hair down and my pouches covered by my dress. My headband was back at the hotel room, so I had the element of surprise on my side.

"No talking guys. You're my jewelry for the day, got it?" I murmured, looking for a kakigori stand somewhere. They both hissed agreement.

Unfortunately, even though this is the fire country and you'd think that shaved ice would be a very profitable item, I couldn't find a single place.

Cussing under my breath, I decided the bast place to look for gangsters was probably the most obvious and cliché. I'm going bar hopping.

"Get me a cup of sake, yeah?" I snapped, settling onto a bar stool in a ladylike manner. The dress I was wearing barely covered my weapons and fireworks, so if I sat the wrong way there was a chance that it would give away my status as a konoichi.

The bar tender nodded, not daring to question my age. Most likely because of Naoki, Aerie, and my killer Uchiha glare. I inherited more than just the Sharingan in that regard.

I stirred the alcohol around with my pinky, slowly sipping it.

Taking my time was key in this kind of situation, because if I got drunk I wouldn't be able to do the mission. I did have a rather high alcohol tolerance though, being that my daddy was a bartender back in the day.

Doing a quick sweep for chakra signatures, I noticed three fairly strong and well controlled people. Not only that, but I could've sworn that two of them rang a bell. I brushed it off.

Lucky for me, it only took a few minutes for someone to hit on me. "Hey, sweetheart. What's a girl like you doin in a place like this?" He asked, words already slightly slurred.

Perfect.

I shrugged, taking a larger sip of my drink and licking my bottom lip before replying, "Enjoying a drink. What about you?"

"Tell you the truth, I'm waiting for some of my friends," he smiled, making his face look somewhat handsome.

My automatic reaction was to start ticking off differences between him and my ideal man. His almond shaped green eyes and black hair didn't do anything for me, not including everything that was wrong with his personality.

What a shame.

Actually, no. He looks like he'd be a fun one to kill, so maybe it's better that I'm not planning on jumping his bones. "What kinds of friends? Are you in that super hot gang I was hearing about earlier?" I questioned sweetly, purposely slurring a tiny bit.

I kind of sounded like May when she got too excited. She's had a slight lisp since she was a child. It was hilarious to watch her face when I played back a video, and she heard it for the first time. "What the hell is that!? I'm like running my words together!"

I giggled to myself, much to the man's pleasure. He must've thought I was trying to flirt or something.

"Now, I'm not supposed to be giving away trade secrets like who and who isn't or is in the gang, ya know." He laughed, nudging my side.

Naoki bristled, but as instructed didn't move an inch or make a single sound. "Oh, really. Does that mean you are in the gang though? 'Cuz that's, like, really cool. Are you like one of those shinobi guys too?" I whispered excitedly, leaning closer.

The poor man fell into my trap hook line and sinker. "Well, yeah. Of course. I'm not a ninja, but the boss has been teaching some of us how to fight like one. I'm the best non-ninja fighter we got."

_And I shall be a annihilating every last one of you_. I shivered in excitement.

We talked for about fifteen more minutes, him easily giving me any information I asked for. The only thing stopping me from grilling him for all his information was the friends he was waiting just had to show up to take his to the meeting place. Stupid men.

I silently trailed after them, my Sharingan activated and a kunai clutched my hand. One of them was surely a ninja, as he kept looking back in my direction, probably sensing my chakra.

I had gotten better at the whole chakra masking thing, but in all reality, Kakashi could still find me in less than ten minutes. Naoki shifted slightly, moving his head to stare up at me as I flitted through the densely packed shops.

They seemed to be heading to the edges of town. Makes it easier to kill them without attracting attention, I guess. Under my watchful perch on a nearby house, they entered a seemingly normal looking shop with apartments on the top.

I darted after them, safely locking them by busting the lock at such an angle the door was no longer functional. Smiling, I landed on the window sill to the top floor. It was locked, of course, but what's a locked window to a ninja?

Course, I knew how to pick locks since I was nine, but still. It came in handy when I forgot my house keys and my brother wasn't there to help me out.

I got it open with a senbon needle, almost breaking it in half in the process. It made a loud groaning noise when I opened it, but the noise downstairs was enough to assure me no one heard. Some ninja.

A loud noise startled the gangsters down stairs into silence. "I see everyone is present. None of you were followed, correct?" What I assumed to be the leader yelled.

Bingo, I smirked.

My heart sped up slightly, sending pleasurable shockwaves through my body. I was a little too bloodthirsty for my own good.

"Boss, who'd be stupid enough to cross us?"

"Yeah! They know we'd just take another kid hostage! Stupid civils." Civilian _kids_ were being taken!? Kids!?

I growled, tightening my grip on my kunai. It was official, now. All these bitches are going down.

"Aerie and Naoki, scoop out the other floors for children. They have captives, and I'm saving every last one of them dammit. Naoki, I don't plan on getting hurt, so I'm trusting you to heal any injuries they've received. Only minor ones of course, if there's a single broken bone I'll pay it back in spades." I ordered, setting them on the floor.

"Yessss, misssstressss Uchiha." They started moving, while I darted to the nearest stairwell.

At the bottom, I was faced with a choice between killing them all now, or listening to the hokage and trying to find their main objectives.

I hunkered down on the past step begrudgingly, my ear tilted towards the meeting on the other side wall. Listening closing, I thought they must be in a circular formation, the boss in the middle and weaklings on the edges. Basically cannon fodder.

"Have we made any contact with the northern bast yet?" Leader-man asked.

The man from the bar spook up, "Nope. There was a girl at the bar though that seemed awfully interested in our gang. She was too graceful for an average person too." Was I really? I always thought I was rather clumsy for a ninja. Hmmm. Ok.

"You think she was here to scoop us out or something, boss?"

I imagined the leader nodding his head, "Yes. I suppose that would be a possibility. We have yet to earn their trust."

"Or she's here to have a birthday party in your blood." I whispered, preparing a barrage of fireworks. They were mainly a distraction, but I rigged some of them with a terrible poison powder made from Naoki's venom.

May and I were subjected to several tests when we were captured, one of those demanding us to build up an immunity to most poisons, so, yup. It wouldn't effect me in the slightest. One of Sasori's more complicated poisons on the other hand? I'd be deader than poodle skirts.

I brought my knee up to my chest, and kicked the door open. Already, several people were stunned by the flying door, and I added to the confusion by chucking in my fireworks.

Estimating that about fifteen would be killed by my poison, in a forty person gang, that still left twenty five people.

I expertly hit another man in the throat with my kunai, opting to yank out my machete.

"H-hey, it's that girl..!" The man from the bar keeled over, coughing loudly. Looks like he inhaled my poison. Poor thing.

"Don't look at her eyes! She's got the Sharingan!" The leader ordered.

He had a shiny headband on, with three little zigzags a scratch through it. A rogue form the grass village? _Huh_.

I smirked, dipping into a curtsy. "Lady Uchiha at your service. I'm here to kill you." A foolish man thought to attack me while I was distracted, going for a jab at my side with a dagger.

"Cheap shot." I growled, stopping him in his tracks with my trusty machete. The blade plunged into his arm, stopping only after hitting his bone.

Damn. Didn't have enough momentum.

He screamed, dropping the dagger at my feet. I stepped on it, and pulled my own weapon back. Without hesitation, I beheaded him, and grazed another attackers chest.

He dutifully tried to shove a kunai, probably one of mine now that I think of it, right into my thigh.

I dodged easily, using my Sharingan to see his actions, and blocking with my trusting senbon needle. The man was clearly surprised by my strength as he stumbled back several steps, dropping the kunai to the floor. I killed him quickly.

"Boss, she's defiantly a ninja!"

"I know." The ringleader answered calmly, watching my fun with narrowed eyes. "She's a jonin, I think."

"Right you are!" I smiled, turning to face him fully.

He blinked in surprise as two more men fell to the ground. One's skull was cracked, and the other was still alive, just caught in a painful genjutsu. His eyes widened, showing the first signs of panic.

I laughed, glancing at the other nineteen people in the group.

Nineteen?

Ah.

I caught movement in the side of my vision, and a searing pain near my ribs. Moving to the side was the best I could do, otherwise he would've gotten a lung or something.

Two. There are _two_ rogue ninja's in this group. Only a chunin level though, I think for the second one.

The ringleader smirked suddenly, eyes locked on the blood dripping down my side.

Ignoring him for the moment, I spun around, my hands forming familiar hand signs fast enough to make them blur. "Water style; ice darts no jutsu!" Ice cold water shot out my mouth, hitting the chunin and several other in the chest.

A beautiful flower of blood appeared on his chest, while I clutched my side. Damn. Using water techniques from my own water added to the blood loss, I needed to finish this quickly.

I still had enough chakra to take them out though. I yanked out five shuriken, taking out another two guys while my left hand started making hand signs and focusing my chakra in my right fist.

"Look out! She's doing another jutsu!"

Too late. "Lightening style; sparks fly no jutsu," I giggled, throwing my closed fist in there direction. I allowed them to think they were safe for a split second, and opened my palm.

Just like the name suggested, giant sparks of blue lightening jumped from my finger tips, instantly killing everyone that was hit by my ice darts and the chunin.

Only seven left? I pouted, looking at the group near the door, who were still trying to escape through the damn door when there was a perfectly good window right there. Idiots.

_Easily killed idiot_s, I added not a thirty seconds later. They were all on the floor.

"Well, well, it seems I underestimated you." The ringleader mused, taking up a fighting stance. Stupid over confident bastard.

I glanced up, licking the blood off my machete with a malicious grin. He just made a dire mistake. I locked him in a genjutsu immediately, paralyzing him instantly.

It was temporary, of course, but I could easily out an end to that now couldn't I? He was frozen in fear, while I made a make shift rope by ripping off the top of my dress and tearing it into strips. I then braided several of them together and tied his hands and feet together.

"Kai. Release!" He finally yelled, trying to move his hands into the proper sign.

I broke the jutsu anyway, settling onto the blood-soaked floor next to him.

Calmly, I spun my machete around, "What were you planning on using the children for?" Several very living chakra signals told me that Naoki had found the kids, so there was no point denying it. Everyone else was slaughtered by the Copy Cat's Sparkler.

"Why the hell would I tell you, bitch!?" He snarled, any smidgen of his previously calm wiped clean. How irritating.

"What did you just call the princess of the Susaeki clan? I hope you know Susaeki's have horrible tempers, and really there's no reason for me to spare you." I leaned forward, pressing a kunai against his throat.

He gulped, much to my amusement. "W-we were planning on using them to traffic information and illegal drugs. No one suspects a kid."

"That's very true," I smiled, dragging my kunai down his arm, leaving a barely there trail of raised skin. "Now, are the kids in this building the only ones you've taken, or should I know about another batch?"

"No, Lady Susaeki. We've only managed to capture the ones here. We were waiting for a bigger gang to help us." Kiss ass.

"Good night." I winked, giving him a million watt smile.

He blushed, literally shaking in fear. "W-wha-"

_Snap_.

Releasing his neck, I dropped his limp body, wrinkling my nose.

"Wow! Lie-sempai is really strong, right Zetsu-san!?"

I swear my fucking heart stopped. I jumped up, automatically taking up a fighting stance.

To my amazement, there was two more people in the room than two seconds ago, both of which were wearing the awkward cloak club cloak.

"Am I like a fucking beacon to you people? This can't be normal." I relaxed slightly, recognizing the man-child I had set in fire and Zetsu, the cannibal.

Zetsu raised his eyebrows, answering somewhat normally, "I didn't realize you were this vicious. **She is a konoichi. That's why we're here remember?** Don't be mean."

"Didn't answer the question, but thanks. Tobi, what are you doing?" I replied, watching as the masked man bent down near the first man I had killed.

He picked something shiny off the floor, giggling. "Lie-sempai should take this as a trophy! This is a really pretty dagger, right Zetsu-san?"

Zetsu sighed, looking at the carnage once again. "Yes. Time to go Tobi. Give her the dagger. We will see you again, Lie-hime."

I giggled, nodding. "Of course. Now go scurry off and tell Leader of my exploits!"

Tobi pressed the dagger into my hand before disappearing along with Zetsu, leaving me slightly confused as to what they were doing here.

Right.

_Kids_. I need to get the kids.


	15. Chapter 15! The kids

**ME; DUN DUN DUN. DRAMATIC ENDING. Just warning ya. **

**Sasori; Why am I here? **

**Me; Do the disclaimer. **

**Sasori; Or what? **

**Me; Have you ever watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre?**

**Sasori; No. Jenna doesn't own any of us. Thank god. She's an annoying brat. **

* * *

"You ssssure took your time, misssstressss."

I flicked Naoki's nose, scowling lightly as my eyes swept over the children. None of them seemed to be older than seven, and the youngest was still clutched in his sister's(?) arms.

"Naoki, Aerie, you may leave. I trust they're healed. I don't want my babies getting sick." I ordered, allowing them both to disappear in a cloud of smoke.

One of the braver ones stood up in trembling legs, "A-are the bad guys all gone, misssstressss?" He imitated Naoki weakly, making some of the older children giggle.

I set down my machete, sitting down on the floor next to the children. "They are all gone for good, and I assure you on my honor as a Konoha ninja they won't ever harm you again."

"W-what are we gonna do then?" The girl holding the baby asked carefully, staring at my blood stained skirt. Her tiny wrists looked barely got enough to support herself, let alone a baby.

Leaning forward, I slowly stopped the child out of her arms, wishing I had May's ability to calm people. "It's late right now, so I'm going to take you to my hotel room, and tomorrow were going to find your parents."

All the children simultaneously glanced at a girl to the right of me.

Pretending I didn't see that, I reached into my weapon pouch, pulling out my pocky. I offered the kids a stick, munching on my own quietly. "Eat. It's just chocolate covered... Sweet dough or something like that."

The child in my arms whimpered, it tiny face scrunching up slightly. I pulled the pocky out of my mouth, allowing it to suck on the end I hadn't bite off of.

The other children slowly took their own sticks out, encouraged by the cute giggles the baby was now making. They all looked to thin to be healthy, which had me worried.

"Okay, guys," I clapped, causing them all to jump. Shit. _They've all been abused and traumatized, Lie, get it together! _"Okay, I'm going to take you somewhere, safe, but I need you all to form a line and hold each others hands."

A chorus of agreements came as the lined up. One, two... seven. There were seven kids and one baby. Hopefully that matches how many kids went missing.

I led them down the stairs, at which point I made them close their eyes, because who really wants to see a whole mess of dead bodies when you're that young.

Patiently, I stood guard as they slowly made their way our after I blew the door off its hinges. It was a weak paper bomb, don't get excited.

We made it to the hotel at such a slow pace I thought I would go crazy, but _eventually_ we made it. They flipped out when I said I was taking them in through the window, but a little bribing with pocky did the trick and we finally got back inside.

"First things first, I need you all to strip. Your clothes are filthy, and I don't want your conditions to worsen while you're in my care."

The kids looked a little worried, but did as I instructed, slowly pealing off their nasty clothing and replacing it with the fluffy hotel towels.

"One at a time I'm going to look at you to make sure Naoki did a good job healing, okay? Don't freak out. I'm not going to hurt a single hair on your body." I seemed to be doing a lot of talking today.

"Who wants to take a shower first?" The four girls raised their hands, nervously glancing at the floor. "Then come here!" I told them, moving my hands towards myself.

The one from earlier, the first one to talk moved forward, holding out her hand, "Are you really a ninja? My mommy said that ninjas are supposed to be strong and tough." She sounded honestly curious as to how I could be a ninja.

"What makes it seem like I'm not a ninja?" I made her sit on the bed while I checked her pulse, temp and felt for any irregular bumps in her arms or legs, which would mean that she's had a broken bone that didn't heal properly.

The baby rested on my lap, gurgling happily.

"Well, you're nice and pretty-"

"And you like pocky!" One of the boys chirped.

"I do like pocky, and I like fireworks too, but I will protect you guys and my village with everything I have." I smiled, patting the top of her head and pointing to the bathroom.

I hoped we had enough shampoo for everyone, otherwise I'd have to break out my emergency supply.

"Have you ever heard of the Copy Cat's Sparkler?" I asked after I finished the next girl.

One of the boys eyes lit up, "Yeah! My Onii-san said that that he got to actually see her fireworks when he visited Ko..Kono-ha-gakure. He said they were made by a super strong ninja girl with pink hair."

The way he said Konohagakure. I giggled, fingering one of my pink streaks. "How would you like to tell him that you met her?"

"Really!? Do you know her?" He placed a small hand on my shoulder, eyes pleading with me.

"I know myself pretty well in fact. My name's Susaeki Lie, the Copy Cat's Sparkler." I held my hand out for him to shake, smiling proudly. How happy it made me to able to make this child's eyes lit up just by being myself was indescribable.

"Why isn't your hair pink anymore?" The last girl asked, her voice trembling slightly. If I had a guess who got the worst of it, it's be on her. Her wide honey brown eyes were full of fear.

Patting the bed lightly, I started checking her too before answering, "I just got bored. I might go back to pink, but I like the black for right now. Kakashi is going to kill me."

"Is he your lover? Because you didn't use an honorific, and my daddy said that's only for family and lovers." She asked quietly, fidgeting nervously. I paused, running my fingers over her wrist again.

There.

Extra cartilage. My throat closed, remembering May's many scars, inside and out. Hurting a young child injured them for much longer than it takes to repair a fractured ulna.

"... Where are your parents, sweetheart?"

She blushed, looking ashamed. "My... My parents are gone."

"I'm taking you back to Konoha with me, okay, chibi? I need to get a real doctor to check out this bone. Does it hurt?" I explained gently, hardly able to keep my rage in check. I wanted to go back and make the people that hurt her _suffer_.

"O-okay, Suaseki-san."

"Now go take a shower while do I check the boys, after you're done, make all the girls leave, because the boys need showers too." She nodded, darting off to take a shower.

I did the boys next, sighing in relief when I confirmed the orphan was the only one to have a broken bone. I would bet that was because the ones with parents have more power, if you will. They weren't afraid of a big bad mama bear coming after the orphan.

_It won't ever happen again. It's okay. _

I had to reassure myself, pulling the startled girl into my arms as she stepped out of the bathroom. "It's okay." I murmured, sitting her on the bed and picking the baby back up.

"Now. I need names and parents names. If you know where you live too, that'd be great, but I know how to get information." I stated, grabbing my backpack off the floor.

I yanked out my only sealing scroll, spreading it across the floor. I didn't want the kids in towels all night, so the only alternative was for them to where my clothes for the time being.

"Woah." A now redheaded boy exclaimed, as I bite my thumb and swiped it across the scroll.

From that, a complete closet full of clothes appeared. The kids all gasped in surprise, which although amusing, didn't really help my impatience.

I wordlessly handed all the boys my tiniest pairs of training shorts, and the girls my smallest and shortest dresses. That way they didn't get swallowed up.

"Names." I finally asked.

The orphan was the first to say, "M-my name is Yuuka."

"My sister's name is Akane. And I'm Rika." The dark blue haired girl said next, pointing to to baby in my arms. Akane. What a pretty name. Clashes with the blue hair though.

The color also had me worried. It wasn't common for people outside of Water to have that color blue. Hinata was a much darker shade of blue, but it was still uncommon.

"Where are you and your sister from, exactly?"

She blinked, frowning in confusion. "We're from the Land of Water."

I groaned, shaking my head. Dammit. That means there were more people involved them those I killed. "...next?"

"I'm Ryuu, Sparkler-chan!" The boy from with the brother cheered with a large smile. "Umm, I mean, I can call you that right?" He added.

"Of course. Now, what's your name, sweetheart?" I asked the last girl, who hadn't looked up from the floor once.

She pushed a lone strand of brown hair out of her face, looking to the side. "I-I'm ca-called Shinju." She stuttered cutely. Speaking of Hinata...

"Pearl. What a pretty name," I purred. I was trying to get her to actually look at me. The whole shy thing was getting old.

"I-it's because of m-my eye co-color." She smiled lightly, looking me in the eyes for the first time.

I nearly fainted. "E-eh. Yes you have very pretty eyes. Next?"

Hyuga. She had Hyuga eyes.

_Holy hell!_ How was I going to explain this to the hokage? I found a missing Hyuga for god's sake! A clan child! Speaking of which, why weren't they looking for her? Was she illegitimate or something?

Fuck. Things just got a lot more stressful.

"I'm Uzamaki Michi." The red headed boy announced, smiling. "I live right here in this village."

Awww! Just like Naruto. I gave him an honest smile, nodding for the last boy to state his name.

"Yoshiro." He stated simply, looking up at me through a fringe of black hair. "I live here also."

Ryuu spoke up, "I live here too, just so you know." So... All the boys live here, and all the girls are complicated.

Really? Did they give up halfway through and go 'fuck it, we'll just use village children'?

"Awesome. I'll be taking you guys home then tomorrow and all the girls are heading home with me." I ordered, clapping my hands together. "Now, what do you guys what for dinner? I have enough money for all of you." I was planning on going shopping, but...

Whatever.

"Can we have onigiri, please?" Yuuka asked, looking at me nervously. She flinched at every sudden movement.

"Akane can't have solid foods yet. She likes apples." Rika supplied, taking Akane out of my arms to cuddle her.

I stood up slowly, giving the children a stern look. "I'm going out. I'll come back with a whole bunch of food, but you can't move while I'm gone. Got it? Don't leave the room, don't answer the door, don't even open the window."

"Is it really going a good idea going out like that, Sparkler-chan?" Ryuu asked, pointing to my blood-soaked skirt and skin tight mesh.

"No." _Dog, boar, ram_, I made the correct hand-signs.

The children gasped as the likeliness of dear Kyoko appeared, clean clothes and all. I smiled, shaking messy hair out of my eyes. "I'll be back."

Darting out the window at full speed, I was a blur to ninjas, to normal civils, I was invisible.

The shop keeper jumped in surprise when I came to a stop in front of her, arms full of food. I handed her the exact amount of money, smiling sweetly. "Since I'm here, tell me, of you know the parents of the missing children Ryuu, Yoshiro, or Michi?"

She stumbled over her words, looking seriously pale and scared. She wasn't used to ninjas apparently. "Y-yes, Yoshiro's parents are valued customers. I expressed my condolences to them after he was take by the g-gang."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that gang anymore, sweetheart. They're not going to bother anyone in this area anymore. They're all dead, you see." I reassured her, smiling kindly and taking a bite of hanami dango. It was the prepackaged knock off kind, but it was still nice and sweet.

_Ahhh. Dango. You're almost as good as my pocky_. Almost.

The woman gasped, her hand flying to her chest. "Dead? And what of the children!? W-we sent for a ninja to save them, not kill everything in sight. Oh, I knew bloodthirsty ninja couldn't be trusted!"

I pouted, Sharingan flashing. The transformation jutsu concealed this of course, but still want the hell!?

"Lookie here, I am in fact a rather bloodthirsty little girl, but I would never lay my hands on an innocent child and neither would any ninja from the Leaf. So, don't go spouting of shit just because you're prejudice. Got it? Now, I expect you to comply with my questions." I snapped, stomping my foot on the ground like a child.

Who the hell does this bitch thinks she is!? Going around bad mouthing the people that keep her safe! She can kiss my ass!_ 'Not literally of course that's saved for D-' _

...D?

_HEY, little voice inside my head, yeah, you can finish that thought now. That'd be nice_! I yelled internally, trying not to make a face at the lady in fort of me.

First May, now even my conscious is keeping secrets from me.

"I apologize, I wasn't aware you were the ninja he had sent for." The woman's voice snapped me back to attention.

I glared at her. "Of course you didn't thats the point of the jutsu. Now, tell me where Yoshiro, Ryuu and Michi live," I ordered, not bothering with pleasantries anymore. She pissed me off, okay?

The woman scowled lightly, about to say something offensive. I could just sense it.

I held up my hand, "Can you just write it down or something? Your voice voice annoys me."

While I was waiting, I somehow ended up thinking of what I now considered home.

Is it wrong that I wanted nothing more at this point than to see Kakashi's face? Yes, he pissed me off. And yes, Kakashi has nothing to do with my current mission, but I still wanted to see him.

He'd only been gone three days and I missed him with my whole body. I was pathetic.

The woman handed me a sheet of paper with tow addresses on it, smiling shakily. I

nodded, darting out the door.

A slight shimmering in the air around me gave me about three seconds before an explosion of purple glitter attacked all my senses.

How the hell can it smell purple?

I'm really not sure, but that was the only word I could use to describe it.

The glitter cleared with one _fwish_ of her wings.

"Oh, good. You have food." The batgirl smiled, twirling a strand of long hair around her finger. Her other hand rested on her stomach, cradling it. "And a new look..."

Handing her a stick of pokey, I smiled at her. I tilted my head to the side, narrowing my eyes. "You're good with kids, right?"

May paled, choking on her pokey. "W-what the- how the heck did you know!?" She yelled, looking worried.

I blinked, for rowing my eyebrows, "What?"

"Wa- What are you talking about? Because I think we're talking about very different things." She allowed, picking all the chocolate off the stick with her fangs.

"I... I meant that you're good with kids because I have eight kids back at my hotel room I recovered from a gang. What are you talking about?" I narrowed my eyes, putting my hand on my hip.

May broke eye contact, looking up at the sky. "The clouds are really pretty today aren't they? That one looks like a beaver."

Can you say obvious?

"Maaaaaymaaaaaay. Tell Lie." I whined.

She laughed, dropping the completely bare and unfinished pokey stick on the ground to set her arms on her stomach. "I'm.. I mean... Look, I wanted to tell you after I was sure... That it wouldn't turn out like last time, so don't be mad."

I was starting to get nervous, noticing that she seemed to have lost weight and had dark circles under her eyes. "The May I know never stutters. What's going on?"

She took a deep breathe, grabbing my hand to press it against her stomach. "Ahh. I'm-" she stumbled, closing her eyes. "I am... expecting."

"Expecting what?" I asked, honestly confused.

May's icy eyes shot open, looking pained.

"Pleasedon'tbemadthatIdidn'ttellyou,but" She rushed in one breathe. "I'm pregnant."L


	16. BONUS CHAPTER Fluff fluff fluff

BONUS almost chapter. Doesn't actually have any real effect on the story, I felt like you guys would appreciate it. This is just what I was thinking about while writing the last chapter. It's just a short bonus I hope you guys like reading as much as I liked writing it.

**WARNING, you don't like FLUFF, just skip it**. It really has nothing to do with the story, becuase we already know May's preggo...

* * *

The batgirl didn't have a genuine reason for being in the Akatsuki base, as Pein had realized after five minutes of her wondering around the kitchen and sniffing random foods.

He still felt like he had to ask though, "Why are you here this time?"

She wrinkled her delicate nose at the smell of seaweed, shivering in disgust. Most days, she loved seaweed, but now, just the smell made her gag.

Looking up with her scowl still in place, she shrugged. "I was planning on telling Hidan something, but I'm thinking of chickening out."

"What did you want to tell him exactly?" Pein narrowed his eyes.

May laughed. She lifted the bottom of her shirt, tilting her body to the side. "Do I look like I gained weight yet?" She asked him curiously.

"Should it?" The Akatsuki leader was quickly becoming bored. He had better things to do than assure unconfident girls they weren't fat. She did have a little bit of pudge that wasn't there before though.

She laughed again, pushing her shirt back down. "No, I supposed not. I'm only five weeks. I still _feel_ really pregnant though."

Pein raised his eyebrows, "And what does this have to do with Hidan?" May sensed the spike of worry in his aura.

"Well, it sure as hell isn't his, if that's what you're flippen out about. Considering it has wings and all," She hopped onto the counter, opening all the cupboards.

Pein sighed in relief, turning on his heel back to his office.

The batgirl remained in the kitchen for a few more minutes, sniffing around for whatever smelled so amazing.

There were ups and downs to pregnancy hormones. One of those was that some things that were normally delish, made you gag, and others tasted so good you could cry. Like, you actually start bawling because it was so good.

Sighing, the girl easily found her way back to Hidan's room.

May, although still refusing to knock, cautiously opened the door, she peaked in to see Hidan laying across his bed, his scythe held above his head as he sharpened the deadly edges.

He didn't look up as she took as slow step forward, her hands protectively crossed over her stomach. Because she was just a soul in this form, the baby wasn't actually with her, but her maternal instincts were in overdrive.

"Hey?"

Hidan looked up, smiling lightly. "What's up, bitch?"

The batgirl smiled, her previous worries subsiding. It was truly wrong of her to become as fond of Hidan as she had, but May ignored that. "Hopefully you?" She smirked, winking.

The Jashinist out his scythe on the floor, patting his lap for her with a malicious smile. "What the hell brings you here today? Itachi's gone, so if Lie's in fucking trouble again..."

She rolled her eyes, kicking the door closed behind her. She walked just out of his reach, and without warning yanked off her top, giving Hidan a steely glare.

"That's my fucking job," He noted, tilting his head of the side slightly.

May pouted, twisting her torso back and forth, "Hidan... Do I look... Different?"

Hidan leaned closer, grabbing a chunk of long hair to pull her into his lap. "Is this one of those damn tests bitches always give their fucking boyfriends?" He asked, kissing her.

"No." She laughed, responding eagerly. She threaded her fingers in his hair before leaning back, her expression becoming serious. For form reason, Hidan was blocking her telepathy.

"No, it's an honest question... Because, ya know..." She continued, looking down.

"I know what?" Hidan kissed her collarbone, just over the scar.

May sighed, shifting uncomfortably. "This is probably gonna be the last time we do... This. For a while, okay? Because I'm superficial and I don't want you to see me when I'm not like this, okay?"

He stopped, looking her in the eyes seriously. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She laid down, pulling Hidan down with her so they were lying side by side on the bed. "You know what I told you about my parents and the place they took me and Lie?"

He nodded, brushing her hair back gently.

May grinned, nuzzling his neck before continuing, "So, remember that part I told you about Perfects?" She had told him more about the tests and things than anyone, including her brothers and Emilie.

Was it odd that the most bloodthirsty of the Akatsuki made her feel safe? Ironic, at least.

"Mhmm," Hidan murmured.

The batgirl was silent for a moment, just admiring his face. She wondered if he would be considered a 'lover', because although they aren't together, they did... _That_.

Quite a lot, in fact.

"I got caught a few weeks back. I just got out three days ago, but the damage was already... Set into motion." She mumbled, hiding her face in the pillow.

Hidan was smart enough to know she was talking about the scientists when she said**(!)** she got caught. He also knew that the only one he wanted hurting May was himself, and that was to pleasure her.

"What's they fucking do to my bitch?" Hidan suddenly snarled, not at all like the playful tone he used for her. This time, it sounded like he wanted to make some sacrifices.

"I'm pregnant. With my Perfects baby. They didn't make us... Do that, but I am pregnant." She muttered into the pillow.

Hidan still heard it though, if the rough kiss was any clue. May responded cautiously, taken completely by surprise.

Hidan pulled back after a few seconds, smiling. "You're having a baby?"

_That was probably the longest he'd gone without swearing_, May noticed, sensing a few odd emotions.

He seemed to be... Genuinely happy for her. The batgirl smiled, nodding excitedly. "Yeah. I'm having a baby."

The Jashinist once again took her by surprise, placing his hand over her stomach gently.

"Don't you dare fucking think you being pregnant will let stop me from wanting to fucking jump you, bitch." He growled, grinning.

May laughed, moving to bite him lightly. "Really?"

"No shit. You know how many fucking chicks have fangs like yours?" He smirked.

"None. You know how many guys like my bites as much as you do?" She snapped back, smiling contentedly.

Hidan kissed her again. "None. And if they do, I'll sacrifice their ass, so you keep coming back."

"I'm counting on it, _Hidan_." She smiled sweetly, kissing his temple.

Hidan laughed, yanking her back to his lips. "_Master,_" He smirked, kissing her.

It was safe to say, May, although not completely certain what was going on in his head, was uncontrollably happy to know that he didn't mind her having a baby that wasn't his.

It also didn't hurt that he was an outrageously good kisser.

* * *

**(1) I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've used the word 'said' in this entire story... Correct me if I'm wrong. **

**Anyway, this is a BONUS story, so you guys get stuck with an extra-special Super long note. **

**I just wanted to say, I know some people have started reading this story because of my Akatsuki cats story.**

**So, I just wanted to tell you, knowing that you guys though that my first story was good enough for you to read another, It totally makes my fucking day. **

**I'm not even kidding right now. Dead serious.**

**I get an email saying someone reviewed and says that they'll keep reading this story because they love it? You can bet your ass I'm sitting in my room, smiling like a fool at my iPad/computer.**

**And I get some ****_weird_**** looks from my family when I start laughing too. You guys are flippen hilarious. **

**Oh, and I saw this on another of my favorite stories, so I'm think I'll try it too. It's a question answer thing. I'll out a question on the bottom of the chapter and answer it the next chapter. **

**Question; Favorite character of all time?**

**Answer; Well, fuck. I can't pick just one! I mean, they're are so many characters I've learned from and admire... How about of 'right now'? Because right now, I'd say it'd have to be Natsu, from FairyTail. I love him to pieces, and his 'I'll keep getting up even if I'm half-dead attitude.' Happy is a close second. Right now. **

**Question that I will answer in the next chapter; Favorite villain of all time?**


	17. Chapter 17! Ita-kun and the Suna brats

**I had this written for a while, I just kept forgetting to upload it. Sorry about that guys. **

**I love you! *super creepy stare***

* * *

The mission report place was oddly quite while I gave Iruka my filled in mission report, still waiting around for Kakashi.

About five minutes later, he teleported in with a rather strange expression on his face. Course, if you didn't spend almost all your free time with him, you wouldn't notice a thing.

He gave also gave short answer when Iruka asked about Naruto too. Huh.

"Kakashi?" I asked, poking his cheek affectionally.

"Their teamwork absolutely sucks." He finally replied, wrapping one arm around me.

I laughed, much to his annoyance. "From what I heard the had a really close call on that bridge mission. I'd bet you a box pocky they just fight becuase they don't want the other to 'get the wrong idea'. They don't want it to seem like they care about each other."

"Can you tell them to knock it off?"

"It'll be fine, Kakashi, but since you asked so nicely, I'll see want I can do." I bent down, kissing Kakashi's cheek through the fabric of his mask. I waved to Iruka and the Hokage before darting out the window.

I very easily found them still walking home, but for whatever reason Sasuke wasn't really walking with them, instead he was keeping pace in the trees. The little weirdo.

Sakura was beating up Naruto and his little mini Naruto... Konohamaru? I can't remember how you would spell it.

Anyway, mini Naruto just face planted into some other boy with a serious amount of make up on. Or war paint, I guess? He reminded me of Sokka from Avatar with all the make up.

The painted boy looked down at Konohamaru. "That hurt." His... Companion (Sister, girlfriend? It's questionable) just rolled her eyes.

Oh, well, you're so fucking cool. That's gotta be the best one liner, _ever_. I mocked inside my head, settling down on the fence edge. They didn't even notice my chakra presence, which is kind of pitiful.

I tensed when he threatened to punch the kid. He was just begging for a fight, wasn't he? Naruto made a run to help his mini me, only to have the boy trip him with chakra strings.

I instinctively yanked him back up with my own chakra strings. I glared at him from my perch, my fingers glowing with chakra strings still attached to Naruto.

He didn't even notice, although he looked in the direction the strings had come from.

"Hey, you fat pig! You release him or I'll make you pay!" Naruto yelled, stepping in front of me. With a twitch of my fingers, he stepped back again.

The painted guy smirked, "Basically, I hate midgets... Especially younger ones that are rude. Makes me want to kill them."

"Well, I'm not involved." His companion... Possible sister or girlfriend chick exhaled.

"Hey you bastard!" Naruto yelled.

The boy pulled back a punch, telling them, "After this one I'll take care of that other annoying midget!" At almost the exact same time, someone threw a rock and another threw a stick of pocky. My cousin and I think alike.

Konohamaru dropped to the floor, while the painted boy growled, "Hey!"

"What are you bastards doing in our village?" Sasuke asked as I ensnared the boy with chakra strings. I'd have to tell Itachi to thank Sasori for me one of these days.

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Ah... Another guy to piss me off." The Suna brat snapped, struggling to move his right arm. He was going for is puppet. "Hey punk, get down here!"

"You're gonna use Karasu!?"

Ignoring the cooler side of me that said, 'let the genins handle it', I jumped down, landing directly in front of him. "You really wanna get a jonin involved, puppet boy?" I snarled.

If he paled at the sight of me, he went white as a sheet when someone else said, "Kankuro, stop it. You're an embarrassment to our village."

"Ga-Gaara." Huh.

My eyes widened as I sensed the familiar presence the boy had housed inside him. Just like Naruto, only... Bloodthirstier.

Shukaku. I stared him down.

"Losing control of yourself in a fight, how pathetic. Why do you think we came the to Leaf village?" He scolded emotionlessly.

_Shukaku_.

My face broke out in a smile. "You son of a bitch. Your got a new host." I said more to myself than anyone else, smiling dizzily. That poor kid.

Kankuro started making excuses, only for Gaara to growl, "Shut up. I'll kill you." I tightened my strings on the boy, pulling him closer to myself. As a jonin, I couldn't allow any killing to go on in my village.

Kankuro struggled against my strings, giving me a disgruntled look, "How do you know how to make chakra strings?"

"You're using one of his puppets," I smirked, releasing him. Sasori had explained that some of his puppets are still in Suna, although he defected a while ago. Karasu is one of them.

Gaara used his sand to appear in between Kankuro and the girl, "It looks like we got here a little early, but we didn't come here to play around. Let's go."

"Wait!"

I zoned out as they fought about the chunin selection exam, staring the new host of Shukaku down. I wondered of he had gotten any calmer in the time I've been AWOL.

Then again last time I saw him, he killed me.

Even the nine tails and I got along better than Shukaku and I. He didn't like it when things he killed came back to life.

Gaara stared back, seemingly confused about something. "... Susaeki." He finally decided, looking even more confused.

I'd bet on the fact it's becuase the voice in his head was being loud. I winked at him, pulling out another pocky stick, "You know it. This lifetime I'm called Lie. Nice to meet you new host of Shukaku, Gaara. Maybe this time you won't end up killing me, yeah?

"You're kind of cute, for a Suna brat, by the way." I added, then nodding at Kankuro.

"I like my men without make up though. And blonde. I like my men blonde." I smirked, disappearing.

"Yuuka-chan!"

"Onee-chan! Look, this is my ninken!" Yuuka cheered, holding up a small puppy.

Tsume stood off to the side, her chest stuck out proudly as she watched her new daughter. I dropped to my knees in front of Yuuka, tilting my head to the side. "What's her name?"

The puppy barked, giving me a doggy smile. "She's says, my name is Momiji! I'm gonna be a super-strong ninja!" Yuuka translated, smiling. **(A/N true to Inuzuka tradition Momiji means pink. All their ninken are named after colors.)**

Her bandages had come off, and she wore her Inuzuka markings with pride. Unsurprisingly, she had on a fluffy jacket that looked like a mini version of Kiba's. On her wrists she had on a pair of Hana's wrist warmers and hot pink uneven shorts on her skinny legs.

Her puppy was light brown with streaks of sooty black, her face completely covered in black. Yuuka must've ripped a strip of her shorts off to make a sort of bandanna for her, which explained the unevenness.

I leaned forward, pulling both of them into into my arms, "Are you really gonna be a super-strong ninja team?" My nose buried in her fluffy jacket. "Are you wearing Kiba's old jacket?" I looked up at Tsume, my nose wrinkling.

She laughed, nodding, "The day after she got here she went into his room and took it. Kiba was late to practice because he was freaking out about it, finally I gave her one from she he was younger. Damn girl ripped her shorts the first day we bought 'em too."

"You love this damn girl, Mama!" Yuuka shot back, glaring at her mother. She jumped out of my arms, crouching down all fours to growl animalistically.

"Yuuka, watch your mouth." I scolded, giving her an amused smile as Momiji copied her partner.

Tsume chuckled, pulling her teeth back to growl back at her. "She fits in surprisingly well with us, you know," Kuromaru noted, gently nudging the pup. "You need to keep you legs like this," He instructed, demonstrating.

"You haven't been doing missions because you've been training her?" I asked Tsume, tilting my head it the side.

She nodded, "I was gonna make Kiba show her the basics, but he's all excited about the chunin exams."

"Ah. Kakashi is jumpy about that too. The test is tomorrow isn't it?"

"Uh-huh." Tsume bent down, showing Yuuka what she was doing wrong. I watched them silently for another half hour, smiling to myself. Tsume made the right decision adopting her.

They were both happy, and Momiji complimented Yuuka perfectly.

After the young soon to be ninja collapsed on the grass, panting heavily, I snorted, picking her back up onto my arms. Momiji rested in her hood, glaring at Kuromaru.

"Hey, Yuuka. You wanna go meet your brothers team? I know where they always train." I suggested, looking at Tsume for approval. She smirked, nodding, "I'll make filet mignon for dinner. So, be back by six."

Yuuka's eyes lit up, "Really, mommy! That's me and Momiji's favorite!"

I smiled, "Kay! Kakashi doesn't expect me back tonight, so I'll just send them over " I darted away before she answered, earning a surprised yelp from Momiji.

Her claws were tangling in Yuuka's curly tresses as she tried to hold on. I looked down at her, gently releasing her death grip as I slowed considerably.

Yuuka pulled her into my arms, grinning widely as we ran. "Mama says if I practice everyday I can get just as fast as Onee-chan!" She cheered.

It was a shame Kurenai wasn't nearly as surprised as last time when I landed at her side. She barely glanced up for, the sparing match between Kiba and Shino.

Yuuka jumped out my arms, a low growling noise her throat, which Momiji echoed. Kurenai glanced at her curiously, eyes widening. "Kiba has a baby sister?"

"As of three days ago," I explained, nodding. "Yuuka," I barked sharply, making the small girl flinch. She was thinking about protecting her brother, I could feel it. "Yuuka, this is Kiba-kun's jonin instructor Kurenai-sensei, Kurenai-san, this is Inuzuka Yuuka and her partner Momiji."

Kurenai bent down to Yuuka's level, holding her hand out for her. "It's nice to meet you, Yuuka-san."

She shifted uncomfortably, biting her lip. "Hi. I'm Kiba's little sister. I'm gonna be a super string ninja like Onee-chan. Are you strong like Onee-chan too?"

"Probably tougher, she's been a jonin longer." I told Yuuka, picking her up off the ground. "Where's Hinata?" I asked Kurenai.

The red eyed jonin nodded to the left, where Hinata was sitting calmly, watching the fight progress with her Bakugan active. "Don't break her concentration."

I nodded. Kurenai and I continued to chat while Yuuka watched her brother fight.

Kiba landed a kick at Shino's ribs, sending the other boy flying at few feet. Kurenai called the match, signaling for them to start target practice.

"Onee-chan, Onee-chan! Didja see that?" Yuuka asked me, smiling happily. "Kiba-kun got him!"

Kiba finally glanced in our direction, smiling at his sister. "What're you doing here, brat?"

Yuuka stuck her nose in the air, scowling at her brother. "I'm here to watch Hinata, stupid brother."

I'm positive the only reason she said Hinata was because it was the only other person she knew the name of, but nonetheless, the blueette blushed, hiding her face in her sleeve.

Kiba snorted, turning back to where Shino and Hinata had started target practice.

Yuuka pouted, looking up at me for help. I picked her up off the ground, pulling a my firework shuriken out of my pocket. Kuranai watched in amusement as I showed her how to properly hold it and flick her wrist to through it.

It was the kind that really wouldn't hurt if you got hit by it, so I really wasn't worried. Her first try landed five feet short of Kiba, who didn't even notice. Akamaru barked, backing away.

Yuuka tried again, this time barely missing his foot. I put a small amount chakra in the next one before handing it to her.

Kiba yelped in surprise as a shuriken sliced through his jacket, hitting the ground in front of him. I made a hand sign, making it burst into pink flames.

I giggled, while Yuuka took his momentary lapse in attention to drop onto all fours and pounce him, Momiji doing the same the Akamaru. Kiba played along, falling to the ground dramatically and holding his hands above his head in mock defeat.

"K-Kiba-kun. W-what are y-you do-doing?" Hinata stuttered.

Kiba looked at her, smiling brightly, "Playing with my little sister, what does it look like?" He looked back at Yuuka, teeth pulled back in a feral snarl. He jumped up, knocking her gently to the floor.

His hand protected her head from the hard dirt.

Kurenai clapped her hands together, smiling, "It's seems like we're not going to get anymore work done today, so I want to remind you that the first chunin exams are tomorrow and you better get a good nights sleep. See ya." She disappeared.

"Filet mignon for dinner tonight, Kiba-kun." I picked Yuuka off the ground by her hood, brushing the dirt off the baggy jacket. Momiji struggled out of Akamaru's hold, growling loudly.

"You eating at my place again, Lie-chan?" He replied, giving Hinata a killer smile.

"Nah. I got a date tonight." At a village fifteen miles away in a pub with my cousin, but a date nonetheless, dammit!

My feet hung over the edge of the building as I bite into my dango, alternating it with pieces of pocky.

I got here a little early, but I was too jumpy to stay in the actual pub. My hair was pulled up into twin tails, because of the wind. I looked down at all the people entering and leaving the pub, waiting patently for Itachi.

I missed him, I'll admit that.

Humming gently to myself, I laid back on the roof, staring up at the stars as I waited.

_"Hey, May? Why do you still try of all Clinton does is hurt you and himself?" I asked my best friend, decided to go with 'Crown Me Already!' for my toe nail paint. _

_May glanced up from where she was doodling on a sheet of hotel stationary. "... I guess the only reason is because when I'm not, trying, I feel like a big chunk of me is missing. I love him with every cell in my being, much to my disdain."_

_"Huh. You think I'll meet my Perfect one of these days?" _

_"Everyone deserves to, I think. Honey still has nightmares though." _

_"About the fire?" I asked, cursing under my breath as I smudged one of my nails. I couldn't paint with my left hand worth a damn._

_"Yeah. Can you imagine feeling your other half burn to death?" She shivered, her grey blue eyes watering. _

_I shuddered. "I'd rather not even try. I haven't even met him."_

_"Honey never met him." May replied solemnly, holding up a sheet of paper with a detailed picture of two of our mutant friends, Shadow and Natalie. Natalie's hands were folded over her pregnant stomach, her eyes glittering. _

_"They look so happy together." I sighed, smiling lightly. _

_"And my perfect almost messed it up for them. Damn him." She growled, holding the picture to her chest possessively. _

_I smiled at her, reaching over to gently pluck the picture out of her hands and set it on the ground. "What do you think my Perfect will be like?"_

"Lie-chan?"

I jumped, nearly falling off the roof if not for Itachi's hands keeping me up. I have him a grateful smile. "Sorry. I was just, lost in thought, I guess."

He smirked, settling down in the roof next to me. "What were you thinking about?"

Mutely, I handed him the plate of dango I had saved him, smiling lightly. He was out of his Akatsuki cloak, instead wearing black pants and a mesh armor t-shirt. Like this, he looked _young_.

"May is pregnant." I told him, pressing my own hand against my stomach.

Itachi watched me curiously, taking a bite of his dango. "Hidan-san was bragging about that actually. He thinks its a good thing."

"It is a good thing. You know how many of our friends have been getting pregnant left and right on accident. While May, who's wanted a baby since who knows how long, couldn't?" I smiled up at him, tilting my head to the side.

"Even if she wanted it to be a baby made from love, she'll settle for artificial. She'll love it enough for two parents." I continued, munching on my pocky.

Itachi looked up at the sky, seeming to pick his words carefully. "What kind of world did you come from?"

"I lived with my parents and five siblings until I was fourteen. After they died and everyone was spread all over the country, I stayed in my hometown in an apartment by myself. I was in robotics at my high school, and took self defense classes because I lived alone. My best guy friend was named Eric, who lived across the hall from me."

He leaned back on his palms, throwing the clean dango stick into the ground below us. "When did you meet May?"

"I had a sudden craving for pudding one night and while walking to the store I ran across two people trying to abduct a little girl. She was half their size and managed to snap one of theirs necks, only to have to other kick her right in stomach.

"I took care of him easily, but I couldn't just leave the girl there, laying in the snow and vomiting blood. So, I carried her home and suddenly I had a bat girl living with me."

"Hn." Itachi nodded, giving me a strange look. "And how'd you become a mutant?"

I shuddered, pulling my shirt closer to my body. "It was a risk staying with her. But, I couldn't abandon her. May seems tough, but that's an act. Everyone of her scars she got protecting someone, be it me or her brothers, or her bastard Perfect."

He smirked, pulling me closer with one arm. "You didn't bring a jacket?"

"No. I forgot. I was talking to Kiba and Yuuka before I came here. The genin are talking their chunin exams to tomorrow. That means Sasuke too, you know."

"I know."

I rolled my eyes, cuddling closer to the S-ranked missing nins side. "That little idiot scared me half to death a few weeks ago. Team Kakashi took on Zabuza. As in The Seven Swordsmen of The Mist, Zabuza. He almost died for god's sake."

"Interesting. How did he survive then?"

"Haku didn't have the heart to actually kill him. He put him in a temporary death state. Sasuke activated his Sharingan for the first time after he saw that Naruto was in danger."

Tilting my head back to look at him, I smiled brightly at my cousin. "Hey, Ita-kun? I like spending time with you."

He gave me an honest smile, barely brushing his fingers over my cheek. "I like spending time with you too."

"That's good, becuase otherwise I'd chain you to my wrist." I smirked, closing my eyes.

"Of course you would." The ravanette scoffed, wrapping his fingers around my wrist in a mock chain. I giggled.

A sudden thought struck me. "Where's Kisame-kun? Did he not want to see me too?"

"No, don't you remember? He was there when you had that headache, which I might add was nerve-wracking for both of us." He responded.

"It wasn't a picnic for me either, Ita-kun." I opened my eyes just to roll them, pulling a face.

Itachi dipped his head lower, rubbing his cheek against mine briefly. "The stupid pyromaniac was worried too when May showed up demanding my help."

"Really now?" I laughed, looking back at the stars.

The stupid pyromaniac. Deidara.

"It was... Unsettling." He smirked, possessively tightening his grip on me.

"I'd imagine so, cousin dear." I sympathized, nodding.

He gave a very un-Itachi-ish snort. "You know what you call me when you're on drugs?"

"What?"

"Itachi-sama, or 'dear one'. When I asked you why, you said it was becuase you felt safe around me. Like everything was going to be okay in the end." He told me, looking up at the sky.

I studied his face, noticing the worry lines and how adorable he still managed to look. I smiled, pointing up at the sky, "That's Ursa Minor. And that's..."

Itachi listened to me while I talked about the stars with a cute tiny smile on his face, still holding me to his chest.

Eventually, I drifted off, onto to be awakened what seemed like minutes later by Itachi's gentle shaking. "Lie-chan, you have to go home and I have a mission with Kisame."

I nodded groggily, humming my approval. "I'll run back. Kakashi won't miss me."

He slipped something into my pocket before disappearing into the peach colored background.

Peach...

DAMMIT.

The sun was already coming up!?


	18. Chapter 18! The sound is out to get me

**Me; holy hell my head hurts...**

**May; Stop complaining. I have morning sickness at four o'clock every day now. Thanks for that. **

**Me; You were the one who wanted a kid. **

**Hidan; Hey, I get to fucking meet the brat don't I? **

**Me; Awwww, so cute! **

**Hidan; I'm not cute, dammit! I'll sacrifice you!**

**Me; I dare you, sweetheart. I've went to the ER twice yesterday. You'd be doing me a favor. **

* * *

I was passed the point of 'you're a fucking idiot that should turn back. Now!' But really, what better time could pick to sneak into Orchimaru's hideout and steal his Akatsuki ring than when he was harassing my cousin during the chunin exams?

Just think this through, guys.

The hokage had given me what he called a 'deserved vacation' from missions, after I burst into his office demanding admittance into the forest of death.

It was a reasonable request, I mean, being a jonin, shouldn't I still have to take the chunin exam? And the jonin exam? But no. He banished me from anything to do with the chunin exams until they started the finals, and I wasn't allowed to be near the forest, because he knows I'd try to sneak in and help out team seven.

If he knew Sasuke was going to get hurt, he'd want to help too! He's my baby cousin!

I sighed to myself, slowly walking down the long tunnels that seemed to make up this place.

It was even more confusing than the Akatsuki base, but it didn't smell as yummy. In fact, this place smelled like blood and other disgusting things.

Naoki hung on my shoulders, red eyes flickering suspiciously. "Misssstressss, so we really need the ring? There are many ssssnakes here." He whisper-hissed, tongue flicking out to taste the air.

"Yes, yes, I know." I hushed, dropping into a low crouch as another one of His minions passed by, barely looking in my direction.

Steeling myself, I started waking again, following the dark blue-purple trail of chakra to what I assumed was Orochimaru's office. My Sharingan was hidden behind a self-made genjutsu, but I knew if he came back during the break or whatever, my Uchiha-ness would be discovered.

And, as May warned me, he would probably try to rip my eyes out of my sockets. Damn snake pedophile.

Itachi would kill me if he knew I was planning on breaking into Orochimaru's hideout.

With that in mind, I continued following the trail I assumed was either Kabuto's or Orochimaru himself's chakra trail. There was another one, one of a pale blue color that also left this place recently, heading in the direction of the Leaf Village that I suppose could also be his.

Either way, I went with this one, and was now tracking it throughout the huge, snake infested underground. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Misssstressss, I do not like thissss plassse. It issss full of ssssavagessss." Naoki voiced, wrapping his tail tighter around me. It took quite a lot to get Naoki nervous, but I didn't blame him being that I could hear hissing coming from every corner.

Just to drown them out, I quietly hummed to myself, remembering when May and I would sing together for the hell of it.

Naoki made a pleased hiss, obviously enjoying my voice. I smirked, cutting off and ducking into an alcove as another minion passed me.

It took me another half an hour to find what I was looking for.

I yanked the ring off the disgusting hand, shivering and pushing back my impulse to puke.

Gross. Gross. Gross.

Seriously? Who the hell does this kind of thing for fun?

Ignoring the ring for a minute, I shifted through the scrolls he had, looking for medical based ones. I hated the guy, for the sick experiments and shit he does, but in all reality, he did have some serious medical talent. Talent that I could use to _help_ people.

I grabbed every healing based scroll I could and sealed them within another scroll.

Now, for the ring...

I untied my leaf headband, slipping the ring onto the pink ribbon it was attached to. I didn't want Pein knowing I took the ring just yet. Maybe later, but right now I was still a proud leaf konoichi.

Right now.

Retying my headband around my waist and flipping the ring backwards so the kanji wasn't showing anymore, I darted back our into the hallway, thankful to be away from the freaky looking glass containers.

_Time to head back then?_

I sighed, struck by urge to see Itachi. We had a scheduled meeting in six months, but according to May, we'd see each other soon enough.

Also, according to May, my heart was going to be smashed into smithereens pretty soon. I don't dare ask her why.

Pushing that to the back of my mind, I ran to the nearest village as I fast as I could, pushing myself. Lately, I had been trying to work harder, running for longer lengths of time, and using weights on my ankles and wrists.

Kakashi had agreed he'd teach me the chidori finally, but he didn't want to teach it twice, so I'd be learning along with Sasuke after the chunin exams.

That thought made me skittish, knowing I wouldn't be able to use my Sharingan either. I had gotten into the habit of keeping it on constantly during missions.

I also borrowed/stole one of Kakashi's extra shirt mask things, which prevented anyone recognizing me.

I sighed, spotting a nice campsite spot. Out of the way of civilians and had a nice cover if someone wanted to sneak up on me.

I collapsed onto the floor, panting heavily.

Dammit! I needed some serious training. I mean, at top speed, I could only maintain it for a few hours, at best, before it starts taking its tole on me.

If I wanted to live up to the jonin title I was given, I had to do better than that.

My legs protested as I stood up, shooting pain up my legs. I ignored it, jumping my way to the top of a dead tree. I sawed of a few large pieces of wood and threw them back down at my campsite, pulling a face.

Stupid legs. Not wanting to work.

Hopping back down to the campsite, I piled the branched up nice and tidy and made a tiger seal.

_Fwush_.

The whole thing went up in flames after a little breathe. If I tried to hard I'd burn it right down to the cinders and there'd be no more fire. Trust me. I've done it before.

I pulled out my brush, untangling the long black and pink tresses and making them into a fishtail braid. I might have to cut it soon, or it'll get in the way...

Stretching out on the hard earth, I pulled Kisame's blanket out my pack and covered myself, inhaling deeply.

Kisame smelled nice. He smelled like the ocean. Itachi smelled like love and charcoal, oddly enough. But I liked the smell of charcoal. Kakashi smelled like home.

* * *

_"Lie, I put the kids to sleep, are you gonna stay up and wait for mom and dad?" My brother asked, kissing my forehead._

_I nodded, flicking his forehead. "Stop kissing me, you weirdo. Go to sleep, you have a chem. test to study for tomorrow." _

_He smiled, "Because I need to study." _

_"Just get outta here." I shoved him into the hallway, making sure he actually made it to his room before stumbling into the kitchen. _

_I grabbed a container of pudding, walking out into the porch to eat it. I had a thing for pudding._

_My pink hair was tied up in a messy bun, strands escaping and getting caught in my mouth. I waited._

_I waited and waited, until a screeching noise came from somewhere nearby. I didn't want to think about what could've caused that noise. But, I couldn't help but go look. _

_Curiosity killed the cat and all that. _

_Jumping down the short drop from my porch, I darted in the direction it came from, noticing that people were already crowding around and the sound of sirens was getting closer. _

Car accident_. _

_People shot me worried glances as I pushed through the throng of bodies, trying to get closer. Stupid downtown area. Way too many people live around here for comfort. _

_I ignored them, finally reaching the end just to come to a complete stop._

_It was her. It was her car, the car they took to go to the dinner that I planned and scheduled. The dinner I should've prevented. _

_Broken glass was scattered across the pavement, glittering red in the streetlights. More red was dripping from the passengers face, onto the dress shirt I had picked out for him. _

_The woman driving was completely covered in blood, several pieces off glass lodged in her chest and arms. _

_Later, someone would tell me, "The airbags didn't deploy. It was a defect in their car." and I would stare back at them emotionlessly. _

_But right now, the only thing I could say or think or feel was, "M-Mama?" I ran to the car, ignoring the pickles and pokes of the glass lodging itself in my feet. _

_I ran to thier side, yelling and screaming for them to wake up. They can't be dead! I planned this, I forced them to go out tonight._

_I killed them. Out of all the things that could've killed them..._

_It was me_.

I gasped, bolting upright. My chest. "Just a dream. Just a dream. It's okay, Lie. It's okay." I panted, the image of blood still fresh in my mind. Tears started dripping down my face.

I was stumbling over words that didn't even make sense, "I-Itachi." I bawled, hiding my face in my arms.

It felt like my heart was being ripped out, and I didn't even know why. I pressed my hand against my heart, gasping and pulling at my hair with my free hand.

Why did it hurt?

Warm liquid was dripping down my leg, blood. My hand went to my thigh feeling, making sure I wasn't injured. It- it felt like I was stabbed with a kunai. Several times in a row. But there was no blood. There was just pale skin, no blood.

My hands glowed with green chakra, trying to heal what wasn't injured.

I flinched, collapsing in on myself. "I-Itachi, why does it hurt? It hurts so bad." I whined, wrapping my arms around my knees. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

I blinked back the tears, staring the dim fire. I'm a ninja for gods sake! I shouldn't be- "Ahh! Make it stop." Another shot of pain ran through my leg.

_Snap_.

Dammit!

What the hell was going on? I growled, looking around the campsite. If I ran into enemy nin now, I'd be screwed. Sound nin wouldn't give a second thought to killing me.

I put out the fire, ignoring the sharp pain in my leg. Grabbing my backpack and Kisame's blanket, I settled down to wait.

Someone was definitely heading in this direction, and fast. Darting into the nearest tree, I barely had time to hide my chakra before three sound found my campsite.

"Those Akatsuki bitches are in the area and Orochimaru-sama's hideout gets broken into on the same day. You really think it wasn't them?" Someone growled, kicking the remains of my fire.

I twitched, Sharingan blazing. Damn. They're framing my crime on the Akatsuki? That's the awkward cloak club, right?

_Damn_.

One of the ninja twitched, glancing in my direction. "You sure they took to the sky?" He asked, crouching down slightly. He was going to jump into the tree.

I shifted to the side silently, waiting for the right time to get him in a genjutsu.

"Yeah, the one made a fucking bird and took off. The freaky lookin' one teleported." The other boy in the group responded, following his gaze to the tree.

The female rolled her eyes, stretching her arms out. "There's someone here. Shut up." Ah. Sound nin and their damn vibration jutsu's.

The boy finally jumped, landing on the branch next to me. He jerked in surprise as tens of kunai struck him. He gasped, placing his hand against his now heavily bleeding chest.

The others leapt to his side, both looking quite confused.

Idiots.

I ran as fast as I could while they were caught in my genjutsu. It wouldn't last long, because they were jonin, but it was an Uchiha level genjutsu, it was pretty flipping hard to see through.

So. Bird?

I smirked, looking at the sky.

Bird.

Unclipping my kunai pouch, I yanked out the purple orb May had given me. A cloud of purple glitter later, May stood in all her pregnant glory, looking rather cross and chomping on what appeared to be a churro. Her belly was now basket ball sized, showing off her baby."

"Would you mind taking me up to see the blonde and the puppet?"

"Do you have an Akatsuki radar or something?" She raised her eyebrows, finishing off the churro.

"Yes. They're like bees to honey." I winked, take out a stick of pocky.

"Pervert." She sighed, settling her hands over her swollen abdomen. "Can I see Hidan then? Are we going to the base?"

I shrugged. "I've got sound nin on my ass, so of we could hurry?"

"Sure." May plucked me off the branch, jumping into the air.

"Why are you so calm today?"

"Tranquilizers." May blew air out her mouth, looking away. "Why is your Sharingan... Active or whatever the heck you call it?"

"I repeat, _I've got sound nin on my ass_. I mugged the snake pedo, just like you suggested. Apparently they're pinning it on the Akatsuki though, so I'm safe. Why were you tranq'd?"

"I had my first ever panic attack. Scared the heck outta Nick." She answered easily, leaning forward to take a bite of my pocky stick.

I pointed to the left, were a blur was getting clearer. "That's them right?"

"Oui. Etes-vous excité?" She winked, nudging me gently. Yes. Are you excited?

"Oui. Of course I am. That blondie, he's... Rather dashing, don't you think?" I fluttered, narrowing my eyes at the spec in the sky. I could barely make out two black cloaks now, along with a streak of blonde hair.

"Dashing? I'd call him hot. What's with the formal English?" May tightened her hold on me, letting to of one hand to pick her hair up.

"Naoki. I've been spending too much time with him."

"Ah." May nodded, wrapping her arm back around me.

I squeaked, shifting. "My leg hurts like a bitch for some reason. I woke up from a nightmare, and it just started hurting out of no where."

She poked my leg experimentally, tilting her head to the side. "... It could be a bond, I suppose. Emotional distress can trigger the bond to open or strengthen momentarily."

I blinked nodding, "I guess. Oh, god. I hope Kakashi isn't hurt. Or Sasuke. Everyone on team seven really."

"Or your Perfect." She smiled teasingly, biting the end off my pocky like a lady and the tramp scene.

I laughed, copying the movement. May giggled, giving me a wet kiss on the cheek.

"Why can't you just tell me already!" I demanded over the giggles.

"Maybe after I go through childbirth." May patted her belly affectionately, laughing.

"Maybe after I go through childbirth, my ass. You won't tell me, because you'll be bitchy afterwards. We both know that, right?" I snapped back pouting and glancing back at the spot, which, might I add, has grown considerably.

I could know see that Deidara was facing the opposite direction, while Sasori was out of Hiruko. I smiled at the redhead, waving. "May, speed up. I wanna scare Deidara."

"Of course you do." May sighed.

"I do, my love. I do." I grinned, kissing her cheek.

May smiled, her eyes flashing dark brown. May teleported without any of the ninja smoke crap.

I jumped onto Deidara's back, grinning like a maniac and winking at Sasori.

"What the hell? Sasori-Danna, un!" Deidara grabbed both my hands, flipping me over his back.

I landed directly in front of him on my knees, smiling. "Didja miss me, honey bear?"

Deidara's eye(s) widened in disbelief, taking in the black hair, Sharingan and messy appearance. I laughed, kissing his cheek. "I missed you too."

"I- Hey! I never said I missed you, hmm."

"Sure, sure, sweetheart. We all know its true." May piped in, settling onto the bird next to Sasori.

The redhead rolled his eyes, shuddering. "I hate flying." He grumbled, watching as May refolded her wings with a serene smile.

The batgirl gently patted her stomach, sighing. "I hate pregnancy hormones."

"I hate when random people jump on my art when we're running from sound nin." Deidara scowled, much to my amusement.

My heart skipped a beat. I barely knew what I was thinking before, "You look so cute pouting like that," popped out of my mouth.

May giggled, leaning against an annoyed Sasori. Deidara just stared at me. I blushed, looking down. It was then I noticed he had a large scratch in his cloak. I tilted my head to the side, "You're hurt?"

"Eh, one of the sound got me with a few kunai, un. It doesn't hurt that bad."

"That's 'cuz you've got someone to absorb some of the pain." May piped in.

Deidara was clearly confused by that statement, while I was quickly unbuttoning his cloak. He didn't even know what was happening before his was stripped down and I was poking the long gash in his leg.

"Ow! Shit, girl, hm!" He hissed, scowling again.

"Shush, cuddle monkey." May snapped. I ignored him, taking out a kunai to tear a bigger hole in his pants. He yelped as I pressed my hands against it, now glowing with green chakra.

I smiled reassuringly, glancing over his shoulder at May. "He hurt his leg. May." I growled, glaring at the batgirl accusingly.

"Do you have any peanut butter? I have a craving for peanut butter." May smiled innocently, stretching out on her back.

"You're very lucky you're pregnant. Otherwise, I would punch you." I snapped, turning back to Deidara's slowly healing leg.

Everyone lapsed into silence, May pouting and poking her slightly chubby stomach. If I had a guess, she was internally complaining about how fat she feels.

Deidara's cut was easy enough to heal, until the reality that I was pressing my hand against his thigh set in. I was blushing and smiling at the same time, trying not to meet his curious eyes.

"Is Ita-kun on a mission?" I asked finally. Subject changes are good for awkward silences, right?

"Ita-kun?" Deidara's voice turned mocking, admittedly still making my heart beat faster. D-damn hormones! I mean, I'm fucking stuttering in my own head! Get it together, Lie.

I pinched his newly healed skin, blushing. "Shut it, blondie. I can call my cousin whatever I damn well please."

"Preach it, sister!" May cheered, pumping her fist in the air.

"Oh, by the way. The sound nin chasing you..." I reached into my pack, pulling out the sealing scroll full of more scrolls. "My fault. Sorry about that. They just assume the Akatsuki are the ones responsible for breaking into snake pedophile's lair."

"A leaf shinobi broke into Orochimaru's lair, why? Are you on a mission?" Sasori looked mildly intrigued, probably filing this into 'things I need to report to leader.'

"Course not. I'm on vacation." I smiled at the puppet master, leaning forward to look him in the eye. Unbeknownst to me, but I learned later via May, Deidara smirked, shifting slightly.

Sasori scoffed, sarcastically snapping back, "Because I'd love to spend my free time breaking and entering a creepy sanin's lair."

"Well, yeah. What else would I do? Kakashi gets boring after while, always complaining about his genin and reading that book." I sighed, my head dipping forward. I was so tired all of a sudden. Guess the endorphins ran out or something.

May giggled, "Book? We both know what kind of literature Kakashi reads, Lie-chan."

"Y-yeah." I yawned, covering my mouth with my hand. Dammit I was tired. And Deidara had nice and comfy legs... I shrugged, giving the blond a steely look. "Don't move."

"What d'ya-" He started asking, falling short as I laid my head in his lap, laying on my side.

"Shut up. Lie is sleeping." May whispered, reaching around Deidara to brush hair out of my eyes. Sasori made some smart ass comment, which I ignored, shifting until I became comfy.

I glanced up at Deidara, eyes reverting to my normal black. "Night-night."

* * *

**I forgot about this last time! Oh, and y'all can submit questions you want me to answer down here..**

**Answer; Probably... The main guard in Tangled. You know the one that almost kills Eugene? That guy! I understand he thinks he's doing the right thing but without Eugene, the long lost princess Repunzal would be chained up somewhere! Plus, I love Eugene, so...**

**Question; Favorite time of day? **


	19. Chapter 19! Do Want Me (Dead)?

**I Really can think of anything to say right now, mostly beckids I'm rocking out to All Time Low Right now. Guess where the title comes from? I love this song so much. :\ Sorry for taking to update. Expect another one in the next week though! **

**Deidara time, guys. You know you love it.**

* * *

I have to say, Deidara's face being the first thing I wake up to makes me outrageously happy.

Like, I'm beside myself with happiness right now and I don't even know why.

My face kept its Uchiha calm however, as I could hear people were talking quite seriously about something to the left of me. I yawned, snuggling closer to Deidara's neck. He was carrying me piggyback, so this was easy.

"Is she actually awake this time?" The voice from last time I was here asked. Pein, I believe. The leader guy.

Deidara shrugged, "Probably not, un. You want me to take her to a free room?"

"I want her to stop entering our base uninvited." He complained, probably glaring at me.

"Dei..." I murmured into his neck, tightening my grip on him. The blonde made a choking sound, bringing one hand up to try and loosen my grip, but I just growled and tightened further.

May laughed, "I wouldn't do that. She's like an anaconda. The more you pull, the tighter she'll hold you."

"May-san." Pein sighed, clearly already used to her. How many times has she come here without me, I wonder? "Go bother Hidan or ransack the kitchen again. You're getting on my nerves."

"As pleasing as that offer sounds, first I gotta make sure Lie will get a good nights sleep. She's been having nightmares about her parents and the tests again. God, I hate the tests." The batgirl replied breezily. I smiled into Deidara's shoulder.

"She's been okay since she fell asleep on the bird, un." Deidara muttered. I liked his voice. He should talk more.

May huffed, stomping her foot. "You're an idiot, Deidara."

Pein sighed.

"Dei. I'm tired." I complained, hiding my face in his neck.

Deidara breathed loudly through his nose. "I know, un. Come on. Time for bed then. When should I take her back to Konoha, Leader-sama, yeah?"

"After... chunin exams. Hokage doesn't want... protecting Sasuke from the pedo snake man." I'm not sure whether that was the right answer... But it made sense in my head, so?

"Snake man. Orochimaru is targeting the one of the leaf brats?" Pein asked quizzically.

I was willing to answer any questions if it got me into a warm bed. "Cousin. Uchiha brat. Itachi's little brother. Very strong, but Naruto is better." I yawned again, rubbing my sleeping eyes.

"Hmm," Pein sounded intrigued, but he didn't ask anymore questions. I bet he would leave that to his spy network. "Dismissed."

I smiled into Deidara's neck, nodding. "I'm sleepy."

Deidara laughed, shifting as he opened the door. "I know, Lie. I know. You've only said it four times, hm."

"She said 'I'm tired' once and 'I'm sleepy' once. Are you sure you passed second grade math class?" May asked, her fingers brushing hair away from my face. "Take her to your room, I'm going to go see of Hidan's in."

"Why my room? Shouldn't it be that damned Uchiha's? That's who she came to see, un." Deidara snapped, apparently annoyed by anything involving Itachi.

"Your room, you bloody idiot. I repeat, your room. I'm depending on you here." May scolded, shaking her head at him.

"Why my room, yeah?" I opened my eyes to see him pull a face. Cute. Very cute.

May snorted. "Because I said so and I'm pregnant. You don't wanna piss off pregnant vampires, sweetheart."

I scowled, not liking the endearment she used for him. Even if it was meant to be mocking. Deidara just sighed, shaking his head in defeat. "Don't be sad," I sighed, kissing the side of his neck.

Deidara stiffened slightly, turning to look at me. "How awake are you, yeah?"

"Not at all," I laughed, nuzzling him. Over affectionate bitch mode activate!

He chuckled, closing his eyes. "What are you doing? Why are you so... Loving?"

"Because I'm sleepy! Hurry up." I sighed, laughing lightly.

The blonde just made a face, opening a door. "I can't hurry if we're already here... Sasori-Danna, yeah." He greeted, waving. He leaned over the bed, pulling me over his shoulder the same way he had on the bird.

"Stay," I whined, wrapping my arms back around his neck to yank him down next to me.

Sasori snorted, "Did May threatened you?"

"Yeah." Deidara sighed, settling criss cross applesauce on the bed.

How well they know May makes me uncomfortable. I was really curious how many times they had seen her wandering around Akatsuki Headquarters. I mean, Sasori didn't even seemed surprised when May and I jumped onto the bird. Deidara, maybe a little, but that was probably because I jumped on his back.

I yanked his red and black blanket around myself, laying my head on his thighs. "You're comfy, Dei." I complimented, snuggling closer.

Deidara leaned forward, almost squishing me to grab his clay off the little bench/bedside table thing. I smiled, rubbing the back of my head against his stomach. He had nice stomach muscles if I do say so myself. The blonde stiffened slightly, and I felt his eyes on me, but I ignored him, trying to fall asleep.

"Why's the brat still here?" Sasori asked irritably.

"Apparently she's crashing here until after the chunin exams over in Konoha. The hokage told her to take a vacation or something." Deidara replied, not looking up from the little sculpture he was making.

"You're so cute." I smiled, leaning up to kiss his jawline.

Deidara grinned, looking down at me curiously, "Stop it."

"No. You like it!" I snapped, pouting.

From across the room, Sasori snorted, "Stupid brats. Get a room."

"Why are you here anyway? Hidan has his own room. Why are you two sharing?" I asked curiously, tilting my head to look at the puppeteer.

He shrugged, "I used to have my own room, but that dumbass brat knocked the wall separating the two rooms down with his sad excuse for art."

"Nice," I purred, reaching up to brush his bangs back out of his eyes. He still had his scoop on. "No scoop." I whined, flicking his cheek.

"What's wrong with my scoop, un? It helps me out. Plus, my left eye is trained against genjutsus." He scowled, looking down at me.

I smirked, "You've never been in one of my genjutsu's." Bad Lie, bad. Don't be perverted.

Deidara shook his hair back in his eyes, giving me a strange look as he covered his scope and clicked something. It popped off, allowing me to properly see both his pretty blue eyes.

"Well?" He asked, poking my cheek.

"You want me to put you in a genjutsu?" I activated my Sharingan with a blink, staring at him.

"I was wondering why you wanted me to take the scope off, yeah."

I smiled, yanking him down by his bangs to kiss me.

It was an awkward kiss, with him bending down and me stretching up to meet him from his lap, but it was probably the best kiss I've ever experienced. Ever. Even if it was sideways.

Deidara dropped the clay he was working on to wrap his arms around me, pulling me into a sitting position on his lap. My hand tangled in his hair while the other held into his arm, making him unable to leave.

I didn't forget about Sasori, but even with the knowledge he was in the room, I really didn't care. I mean, Deidara's hand was licking my hip. I really, really didn't care.

I shivered, very gently biting down on his lower lip. Just like I planned, he opened his mouth, and I was officially making out with him. I felt fucking accomplished. Deidara responded eagerly, one of his hands slipping under my leg to pull me up higher.

"Hey, brat, knock it off!" Sasori demanded.

We broke off. Stupid Sasori.

Stupid, stupid Sasori.

"Dammit, Danna!" Deidara hissed, glaring over my shoulder at Sasori.

I took the opportunity to kiss his cheek, smiling brightly. "It's okay, Dei. We have a whole week!" I cheered, pulling him back in for another kiss.

"Dei, Dei, Dei." I couldn't stop smiling. Deidara grinned in return, kissing me lightly.

"Can you take this somewhere else?" Sasori sighed.

"Can we?" I chirped excitedly, breaking any cool Uchiha exterior.

Deidara chuckled, scooping me up as he stood. "Maybe." He murmured into my messy hair, carrying me across the room. Over his shoulder, I smirked at Sasori. The redhead rolled his eyes, but I think we both know he liked that I was distracting his brat.

We somehow ended up in a living room of sorts, a few couches, a TV. All the necessities to chill out between trying to take over the the world.

The second we settled down onto the couch, we were kissing again, Deidara's hands on my back and mine tangled in his long blonde hair. I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

God. Five days of this?

You better believe I'm going to take advantage of every second.

"Deidara?" I whispered, brushing my fingers across his cheek. I have to say, even though we're both still wearing clothes, waking up next to a sleeping Deidara, was quite possibly better than the day I woke up in the woods after escaping the hell hole lab.

"What, hmm?" One blue eye popped open, looking down at me dazedly.

I leaned forward, pecking his cheek. "Is it weird that I'd be really happy if I woke up like this every morning?" I murmured, blushing slightly.

"No. Because I'd be perfectly fine if I woke up to your day-after face everyday." Deidara smiled, wrapping his arms around me to yank me to his chest. The stitches scratched my shoulder blade, but I didn't care enough to move.

"Good." I whispered, trying to ignore the wet feeling his hands were causing on my stomach. He couldn't just hold me like a normal person, no. He had to slip his hands under my tank top.

Unfortunately, I was unable to do anything about it, because my female instincts were telling to jump his bones.

He was licking my stomach for god's sake! How was I supposed to react? Well, his hand was licking my stomach, but still!

We stayed like that for quite awhile, enjoying each others warmth and whispering about nothing on particular. Eventually, I convinced him we'd have to get up and eat breakfast, which he begrudgingly agreed too. We held hands on the way to the kitchen, neither of us speaking as our foot padded across the stone.

The first thing I did upon reaching the kitchen was grab myself a cup of coffee that someone had so kindly left on the counter for me.

"I wouldn't do that." Deidara noted, pulling down a bowl for himself.

"Shhh, child. It is too early for dramatic warnings." I hushed him, taking a sip of the bitter liquid. God I love coffee. Akatsuki coffee too, it's like fucking magical. I wonder where they buy it.

Deidara just shrugged, glancing at the door somewhat nervously.

We again lapsed into silence as Deidara fixed himself cereal and I sipped the boiling hot coffee.

Kisame entered the room with a rather dull expression, apparently half asleep. He glanced at the empty table top in confusion, apparently wondering here his coffee went.

I grinned at him, handing him the half empty coffee cup. The shark man narrowed his eyes at the cup, but accepted it anyway, wrapping one of his huge arms around me in a half-hug.

"Kisame-kun!" I squeaked, blushing.

"Hey, kid." He chuckled, releasing me. "Why aren't you wearing pants?"

I grinned and shrugged, jumping onto the counter. "Is Ita-kun here then? In his room?" I ignored the first question of course, hoping that Kisame being here meant his partner was here.

"Yeah, he used his Sharingan thing the last mission, kinda wore him out. Want to wait for me to show you the room?"

"Nah. I can trail the chakra signature. I got this." I waved him off, planting a kiss on Deidara's forehead on my way out. I was excited, getting to see my dear cousin Itachi so soon.

It almost cancels out the fact I know Sasuke is in pain right now.

Almost.

Itachi's door was unlocked, so I kinda just ran in, finding my cousin half-asleep in his bed, staring at the door accusingly. I darted to his side, throwing my arms around his neck. "Itachi-kun!"

"Lie." He responded to the hug gently, laying his forehead on mine. "Why you in the Akatsuki base?"

"Hokage banned me from the chunin exams." I laughed, smiling.

Itachi smirked, "Of course he did."

"After you rest, can we train together? Mano y mano. Sharingan vs Sharingan." I chirped, looking around his room. It was rather sparsely decorated, no personal items placed around the room.

"After I rest." Itachi agreed, laying back down. I bent down, kissing his cheek before rushing back out the door. I ran back to Deidara and Sasori's room, grabbing my shorts and everything else.

Sasori glanced up at me, looking bored. "What are you doing here?"

"Putting my pants on?" I replied, doing just that and tying my headband around my thigh. I also summoned Aerie, because lately she's been spending way too much time with Naoki and not me.

Aerie wrapped around my waist, hissing contentedly. I pet her head, laughing. "I missed you too, sweetheart."

"I hate snakes," Sasori sighed, turning back to whatever he was doing. It looked rather bloody to me, so I decided to leave. Not before defending snakes though. "Hey, now. That's not true. Snakes are cool. Just because you had a creepy partner that also liked snakes. Doesn't mean that all snakes are bad." I snapped, kissing the tip of Aerie's nose affectionately.

Sasori scoffed, waving one of his hands in the air, "Whatever. Get out. I'm sure the brat misses you."

"I should hope so." I trilled, slamming the door behind me. I didn't want the smell of blood getting all over the base. It was enough to make my nose wrinkle as is. Damn advanced, screwed with genetics.

Deidara and Kisame were both gone by the time I made it back to the kitchen, although they both left dirty dishes in the sink. Pigs.

Actually... Looking around the entire kitchen was pretty messy. Like a bachelor pad or whatever. Too many guys and not enough girls.

It looked just like Kakashi's place before I arrived.

Oh, dear lord. Why?

I sighed, brushing imaginary dust off myself and redoing my high ponytail into a ballerina bun.

Might as well be helpful, considering I am slumming with them.

Itachi seemed to be amused by my messy hair and pissed off expression as I ranted about the living conditions.

"I just don't understand how the hell ten people can make this place so damn dirty! I mean, seriously? Kakashi would be chained to the wall if he made such a mess. Added to the fact that almost everything in here is prepackaged crap, I don't understand why you aren't dropping like flies from cardiac arrest for gods sake. Ramen in a cup is not a healthy everyday meal! Eight hundred milligrams of sodium! Eight hundred!"

I finally collapsed on the floor in a pile of tears.

Kakashi was used to this scene, having seen it several times after I got home from a trip longer than a week to find my house in disarray. (He never failed to start laughing and trying to comfort me at the same time. I usually ended up punching him across the room.)

Itachi was completely blindsided.

Probably because most people don't start crying over messiness.

Itachi was still in a state of shock when Deidara and Kisame walked in, both sweaty from training. I swear to god if they mess up my new clean kitchen I will kill them both with a cheese grater.

"Woah. What the hell happened to our kitchen, un?" Deidara asked after a moment of silence- aside from my sniffling, of course. I'm not one of those creepy silent cryers.

"And why are you crying?" Kisame bent to my level, offering his hand.

I pouted, throwing my arms around Kisame's neck. "Because it was so messy and I feel so bad that you guys have to live like that and-"

"She's hysterical from the cleaning supplies." Itachi interrupted, patting my head.

"Don't patronize me!" I growled, scowling and wiping away my tears.

Deidara laughed, shaking his head. "Where did she find cleaning supplies in the first place, yeah? I don't think we ever cleaned this place."

"I know you didn't! Zetsu grabbed some from the market for me after I did everything I could with just soap and a kunai." I sighed, laying my head on Kisame's shoulder tiredly. You wouldn't believe how draining it was to stick to the ceiling and clean the cupboards at the same time.

"Since when is a kunai a cleaning supply?" Kisame chuckled.

"Since there was enough icky stuff for me to resort to scraping it off with pointy objects." I shivered in disgust.

Deidara tilted his head to the side, looking up at the sparkling clean room in amazement.

I grinned proudly, "See? Aren't I great?"

"And so modest." Itachi added with the signature Uchiha smirk.

"I should get a maid costume or something.." I added, picturing myself in such an outfit. I looked cute, if I do say so myself.

Itachi shook his head, "Don't give Kakashi any ideas."

I smirked, "But Ita-kun! I love teasing Kakashi with that kinda thing. He flips out and throws things at me. Good times."

"I can't picture Kakashi throwing things at a girl."

"Pillows, blankets, anything that won't harm me at his disposal he will throw at me. Then he'll either go train with his little genin or lock himself in his room for the rest of the night. You'd be surprised at how often this occurs at our house."

Both Itachi and Kisame sweat dropped, while Deidara just looked confused. I grinned impishly, all traces of my previous crying erased.

"Good times." I sighed, yawning.

"How much sleep do you need, woman? You fell asleep in the sky too, hmm." Deidara asked, gently unwrapping my arms from Kisame and grabbing me princess style.

"You know how much..." I yawned, covering my mouth with my hand again, "Work it is to clean this huge, used to be pigsty-ish kitchen?" I finished dully, laying my head on Deidara's shoulder.

Itachi raised his eyebrows slightly, but said nothing. I half smiled, mouthing the words, "I stayed with Deidara and Sasori last night. I'm not sure why, but May insisted upon it apparently. Can we train now?"

I knew he understood perfectly, considering my Sharingan can also read lips. He nodded, saying lowly, "Yes. Deidara-san, can you take Lie to the training grounds?"

"I guess, un. Aren't you too tired to train?" He added worriedly.

"Nah. I'm fine. Somebody's gotta kick Ita-kun's ass around here don't they?" I smirked, winking at my older cousin.

He rolled his eyes, smirking. "Right."

Deidara chuckled, kissing the top of my head. "Show that damn Uchiha who's boss, un."

"I'm a damn Uchiha too, mister. And watch you fucking mouth. There are children present." I scolded, scowling playfully.

"Where are the children then, yeah?"

"You're all children compared to me. I'm ancient." I flicked Deidara's bangs out of his eyes, smiling when I saw that he hadn't put the scope back on yet. I just loved seeing both his pretty blue eyes.

Said eyes were overshadowed as he scowled, asking me, "Ancient?"

"My first memories start before the first hokage was born. I married Uchiha Izuna in my fifth or sixth reincarnation."

"How many times have you been married?"

"Way too many. Most of them end up dying too, which really sucks." I sighed.

Itachi made a soft noise, almost passing off as a chuckle. Deidara's eyes widened in shock, clearly never hearing anything like that from Itachi. I grinned, laughing cheerfully at his expression.

"Now, go fine stead! To the training ground so I might beat up my cousin-kun!"

Deidara complied, leisurely making his way back to the training ground with Itachi following behind us. I chatted with them both, hoping to mend some of their somewhat rocky 'relationship'. It was more of a one sided hate from Deidara, but whatever.

I really hoped that eventually they could get along.

"Love is crazy, pretty baby, take it real slow. My feelings show, all you have to do is never ever let go. My feelings show. And I want you to know. My feelings show.

"I'm sorry it's taking me so long to find out what I'm feeling. I wonder if it will come to me. Maybe not. Maybe not. Because," I twirled around the Akatsuki kitchen, singing along to the iPod May somehow managed to send for my birthday. It didn't even need a plug! It just needed to sit in the sun for a few hours- upside down of course, so the solar panels got it. Not the screen.

My birthday over in her dimension. In this world, it world it was still months away.

"Love is crazy, pretty baby. Take it real slow." I continued, setting the perfectly made sponge cake on the counter.

Itachi and Kisame doing whatever they do, and Deidara and Sasori were both holed up in their room, leaving me to my devices.

Currently, I was singing along to CoCo on a loop, preparing all kinds of food for Akatsuki. It was the least I do, being that they were housing me. Uninvited too.

I tapped my foot to beat as I whisked the watery cream until it was fluffy and to die for. I quickly cut the sponge cake in half, making it into two tiers.

I smeared the cream on top, tucking in fresh strawberries Zetsu so graciously gave me.

He was actually pretty agreeable, unlike what I expected from the cannibal. Most people don't look past the 'cannibal' part and don't realize what a closet sweetheart he is. Yes, his black half can be bitchy and mean, but it takes a whole lot of tender love and care to raise all the plants he has in his little greenhouse.

Anyway.

Around ten minutes later, after I had started making rice balls and settled onto the countertop, I became aware that someone was outside the closed door, obviously listening to me. I shrugged, not at all shy about my singing.

I continued shaping onigiri, ignoring my audience.

"You've got magic inside your fingertips. It's leaking out all over my skin. Every time that I get close to you, you're making me weak with the way you look through those eyes."

This probably the only song that is completely about sex that actually sounds _sexy_. I smirked, closing my eyes as I sang, throwing my heart into it. I really did love this song.

"But all I see is your face, all I need is your touch. Wake me up with your lips. Come at me from up above.

"Yeah. Oh, baby, I need I need you to see me the way you," I finished, opening my eyes. I froze, realizing how close my little audience had suddenly gotten.

Bright blue eyes met mine, Deidara watching me closely. I blinked, waiting for him to say something.

He remained silent. I sighed, pouting. "Can I help y-"

His lips crashed onto mine, one of his hands going behind my head to tangle in my hair, preventing movement. The other ended up on my leg, just over my knee cap.

Although I was in a state of shock, it was almost instinctive for me the kiss him back, my mind completely wiped of thoughts like food and music.

All I could think about was how good a kisser Deidara was.

"Deidara, can you please not assault Lie in the kitchen?" Itachi asked calmly, appearing out of nowhere. Damn ninja. I quickly pulled back, ignoring the slight pain Deidara's hair yanking caused me.

... Was it just me or was the way he said my name without honorifics meant to sound intimate while when he said Deidara's name without honorifics, it sounded like he was degrading him... Hmmm. Or hn, I guess.

"Fuck off, Itachi." Deidara snarled, reflexively clenching his hands. I twitched, glancing down at the hand that was squeezing my leg. For a long range fighter, Deidara was pretty strong.

"You're hurting her." Itachi stated, glaring coolly at the blonde bomber.

"What, un?" Deidara clearly didn't want to ask Itachi what he meant, but he did glance at me nervously. My only thought response was ? I wonder if he thought Itachi meant emotionally or something.

Itachi sighed, giving Deidara the most 'are you fucking kidding me right now?' look I've ever seen on his face. Well, actually it's the only time I've seen that look on his face. He usually looks at me with a perfect poker face, or affectionately. "Your hand. Remove it from her before I do."

Deidara frowned, finally realizing what he meant and letting up on my leg. Now that he let go, we could all see the red marks that would probably leave very light bruises in the shape of Deidara's fingers.

"Fool." Itachi snapped, glaring at the mark.

I shrugged, my glowing green hand tracing the mark, "Itachi-kun, please don't be mad. I'm not a china doll." It healed as I spoke, leaving behind no trace of the occurrence. I was actually kind of disappointed. Not that I'm like Hidan or anything, but I liked the idea of Deidara's handprint plainly visible on my skin.

It was kind of sexy.

Not in the way like abusive couples have 'marks' but... You know what I mean right? Never mind. Apparently I'm more of a masochist than I thought.

"Lie," Itachi frowned slightly, looking like he was pleading with me.

I shrugged again, tilting my head to the side and narrowing my eyes. "I'm a ninja. I can a lot more than a little bruise." Just to prove the point, I yanked up my shirt, tracing on of my many abdominal scars.

Itachi sighed, shaking his head. "I didn't mean to offend you, Lie."

"I know," I laughed, smiling at him to show I wasn't angry. I was a little annoyed by their childish behavior, but in the long run I still loved him. Itachi, that is. I'm not sure about Deidara yet. I'm attracted to him, and I feel... Weird around him, but do I love him?

"Good," Itachi smirked, walking over to the table to look at the extensive array of food I made. Most of it was American, so I doubt he knew what it was. He picked up a French fry, staring at me questionably.

I jumped down from my perch on the counter, grabbing Deidara's hand as I joined Itachi at the table. "That's called a French fry where I come from. That's pizza, fettuccine alfredo, devils food cake, hash browns and eggs, which is one of Kakashi's favorites, and my personal favorite strawberry shortcake."

Not to mention the ramen, stir-fry and ongiri I made, but they already know what that is.

"Are you planning on hosting an army?" Itachi teased, taking a hesitant bite of the French fry.

I giggled, shaking my head. "No. I figured if I made a lot then you guys can make it till I come back. That way you won't look so skinny next time I see you, Ita-kun."

Deidara was trying the devils food cake and the strawberry shortcake, looking mildly annoyed for some reason. I brushed it off, grabbing myself some fettuccine. Homemade noodles are so much harder to make than you would think.

While eating my dinner, I studied Itachi and Deidara, still wondering why they didn't like each other. It seemed silly to me that they disliked each other so fervently.

Maybe it was a guy thing and I'll just never understand.

"Deidara-kun, you're eating the strawberries wrong." I noted, tilting my head to the side.

"I don't think there's a wrong way to eat strawberries, un." Deidara raised his eyebrow.

I shook my head, stating stubbornly, "Nope, you're supposed to eat them like this," I demonstrated, plucking a strawberry from his piece of cake and dipping it in the frosting I had plentifully smothered on the cake.

Not at all shy, I placed the cream-covered strawberry on Deidara's lips, waiting for him to try it. Deidara blushed slightly, opening his mouth to then close his lips around my fingers.

I giggled, releasing the strawberry. I wiped my hand on my shorts, going back to eating my noodles like nothing had happened. Itachi smirked at Deidara's frustrated expression, moving to wrap one arm around me.

"Hey, Ita-kun, does it snow here?"

"Not that I know of. We're in Ame. It rains almost constantly." Itachi answered, tilting his head to the side.

I sighed, shaking my head in disappointment. "I love the snow. In Michigan, we used to get tons of snow every year. I'm talking like five feet in one blizzard a ton. We used to jump off roof tops and land in big piles of snow because it broke the fall."

"What did you do in the summer, un?" Deidara asked, apparently over his embarrassment.

"I liked going to Lake Michigan. Or lake Macatawa. You can see the most beautiful sunsets at Lake Michigan, because it reflects off the water. It's just gorgeous." My eyes glazed over, remembering all the times I'd drive over to the lake just to watchful the sunset and reminisce.

I know both Itachi and Deidara were watching me, but I haven't the slightest idea what they were thinking. I yawned, blinking back sleepy tears. My eyes water whenever I yawn for some reason.

"Okay, time for bed. If either of you see Zetsu tell him I made him some marinade for him. It's in the fridge." I waved over my shoulder at them, picking my backpack up from the floor. Both men shuddered at the mention of marinade.

It's not like Zetsu's gonna use it on them. Idiots.

I made my way to Itachi's room, deciding that since I was with Deidara last night, I'll be with Itachi today. Man... If you didn't know what I was talking about, I'd sound like a whore. A whore with really good taste though, if I do say so myself.

I stopped in Kisame's room before my own, walking in without a word and chucking my blanket at his face. It didn't smell like Kisame anymore, which is why I darted over to his pack to grab another one.

"Why?" The shark man sighed, throwing the blanket onto the floor.

"You gave me that blanket a few months ago, remember?" I asked, folding my new, ocean-y smelling blanket up for my pack.

He nodded, "When we first met you."

"Well, it doesn't smell like you anymore, so I don't want it, but this one does. So, clearly it's mine. Night-night!"

I heard Kisame's chuckle as I closed the door behind me, racing into Itachi's room.

I was almost sound asleep when I heard the door open and Itachi silently walk across the room and placed his Akatsuki cloak on a hook. I shifted to the side a bit, making more room for him.

Itachi paused before sitting down next to me, pulling the blanket down a little to see my face. "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be with Deidara?" There it was again. The whole no-honorifics thing that made me think he disliked Deidara.

I shrugged, holding my arms out for him. "I can't stay with my favorite-est Uchiha?"

"Hn," Itachi seemed to accept this, lying down next to me.

Curling against his side, I smiled, murmuring, "Sides, I'd much rather be with you."

I didn't need to look up to know Itachi was smirking. He wrapped one arm around me, setting his cheek on the top of my head. "Good."

"And so modest." I mimicked him from earlier, giggling.

Itachi made that almost laugh noise he made earlier, tightening his grip on me. "Good night, Lie."

"Good night, Itachi." I sighed, forgetting for a split second that I was in a criminals HQ and cuddling with a man accused of killing his entire clan for the hell of it.

No, that's not true.

I was cuddling with a man I loved. And that was enough to make up for everything else.

"Lie... Lie, wake up. It's almost noon. You need to eat."

I groaned, yanking the arm that was trying to wake me over myself. Itachi, although not surprised enough to say anything as I pulled him back onto the bed, smirked, landing halfway on top of me.

"Lie is not hungry. Lie wants Itachi to stay with her." I mumbled, kissing his cheek.

"You need to eat, and then we can train together, okay?" Itachi responded, moving to sit on the bed next to me.

I pouted, wrapping myself around his middle. "Nooooo. Please? Just stay here with me." I whined.

"How about you, Tobi, and I eat lunch together, and then you can go back to sleep?" Itachi suggested, looking down at me.

I growled, frowning. "Who's Tobi?"

"The boy you punched in the face last time." Itachi smirked, apparently amused by this.

"I did no such thing! I simply hit him with a frying pan. There is a difference." I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest and, in the process, accidentally hitting Itachi. "Sorry!"

Itachi shrugged, standing up. He held a hand out for me, which I happily took and entwined my fingers through. Itachi, unlike Deidara, had rather cold hands. Kakashi usually has cold hands too, oddly enough. I think it's from holding his book up so much.

And, his hand didn't once try to bite me.

The again, his hands also could lick me. As weird as it sounds, you have no idea what a turn on that is.

Wait...

I slowed down slightly, glaring at Itachi with a panicked expression.

Why the hell am I comparing Itachi and Deidara in the first place?

"What's wrong?" Itachi asked curiously, glancing at me speculatively.

"Nothing. I just thought of something... Off putting." I half-lied, tilting my head to the side in confusion. I was confusing myself for god's sake.

"Hn," Itachi kind of responded, nodding it off. I knew at some point he'd bring it up later, when I wasn't expecting it and would answer on instinct. I'd have to careful.

I felt my pockets awkwardly, suddenly remembering that I left my iPod in the kitchen. I held up my hand, tugging at Itachi's cloak with the other. "Jus sec. I'll be right back."

The walls blurred around me as I ran as fast as I could, darting to kitchen and back in less time than even I could comprehend.

"Got it." I told him cheerfully, plugging in the little hot pink headphones.

"You really like that color don't you?" He asked, pointing to them.

"I do. I've had pink hair since I was fourteen, ya know."

"And I still can't picture you blonde." Itachi fingered a lock of black hair, curling it around his finger with a slight smirk.

"And I can't picture you as a redhead. What's your point?"

* * *

**Answer; I stay up until like three AM usually, so the middle of the night I guess.**

**Q; Favorite band right now?**


	20. Chapter 20 Bittersweet

**I told you I'd update again within a week! I told you! So, there. I hope you enjoy this very fluffy chapter that I wrote for you. Mwahahahaha! I don't even know why I'm cackling, don't mind me. **

**I felt like crying when I started editing this chapter though, becuase I actaully got to the rough draft of the epilogue of this story... Maybe it's just because I was listening to Mariana's Trench at the time, I don't know. **

**Anyway! Hope you like it, and don't forget to make my day by reviewing! **

**I also want to have a special shout out to my long time reviewer and reader KaoriTamashiro. You rock. If I take over the world, you can have whatever country you want, okay? **

* * *

Staying with the Akatsuki wasn't as... Well, murderous as I would expect from a group of S-ranked criminals. It was plenty hectic though, and I only got to spend two of my days training with my dearest cousin before he was sent on another mission.

Course, Deidara and Sasori are staying for a full four days of 'rest time' and we all know I took will full advantage of that.

Currently though, I was just sitting at the bottom of a lake, wondering if I should train a little longer or go see if Deidara wants to kiss me.

The little timer in my hand read four minutes, meaning I should try and see if I can stay longer. I've been trying to work on my ability to hold my breath, which in turn helps my endurance.

Dei has also been helping me test this. If you know what I me- God dammit, Lie! Get your head out of the gutter!

I shook my head stubbornly, choking on the water I inhaled as I laughed. Okay, I lied. Although being here isn't nearly as bloody as I assumed it would be- aside from when Danna is making his human puppets- it's making me into a pervert.

Gracefully making my way to the surface, I gasped for air, making what was probably very unattractive face at myself.

_I'm really an idiot sometimes, _I thought, slowly swimming back to the shore and changing into a pair of black exercise short-shorts and one of Deidara's t-shirts. Or, at least I think it's Dei's. He's the closets one to my size in the Akatsuki, even though compared to him I'm shrimpy. Stupid ninja boy.

_Wet hair, wet hair, wet hair. Dammit_. I threw the door open, wincing slightly as it bounced off the wall.

"Deidara! You know where the hell I put my brush!?" I yelled, trying unsuccessfully to unknot my dripping and tangled hair. I automatically starting heading for Deidara's and Sasori's rooms, knowing he wouldn't mind my borrowing one of his brushes.

Sasori wasn't in when I arrived, so I assume he's out hanging with his spy network. "Dei? Brush?" I repeated, looking around in confusion. In general, the blonde didn't leave his room unless he was training or eating. Most of his free time was spent sketching out new designs or bickering with Sasori.

His head popped out from behind the bathroom door, a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth and toothpaste dripping down one side of his mouth, "Vat, un?"

I slowly covered my mouth with one hand, unable to stop myself from laughing. He looked even more confused by this, raising one eye brow and watching me expectantly as I tried to voice my question.

"C-can I borrow I brush, hon? You look so adorable right now, I'm sorry." I finally asked.

He shrugged, disappearing again. I took this as a silent 'you can get it yourself, lazy.' I huffed, rolling my eyes before walking to the too small bathroom and shoving Deidara out of the way of the mirror so I could fix my hair with his bright orange and red brush.

He was not having any of this, knocking me out of the way right back. This caused me to almost tear a chunk of my hair out. Jackass. I pouted, giving him a sideways glare and reminding him smugly, "I'm the girl in this relationship, buddy. You might have prettier hair, but you still have to be nice to me."

"Didn't you yell 'chivalry is dead' at me yesterday when I said _you_ should do the dishes because _you_ made them dirty, sweetheart, un?" He snapped back, bumping out of again with his boney hip.

Why does he even need the mirror to brush his teeth? I scowled, switching to my left hand to brush and placing my right on his chest to push him back, "I don't remember saying any such thing."

"Of course you don't, hmm." This time, he just cut in front of me in the mirror, leaning down to spit, then just leaning against the counter and looking up at me.

I narrowed my eyes, "Are you trying to annoy me?"

He nodded, smiling, "Yes."

"Why?" He shrugged, grabbing the brush from my hand and straightening up to move me so he could brush my hair, "Sometimes it's just fun to annoy people. You especially look kinda cute when you wanna punch me, un."

I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest uncomfortably as he pulled my head back. "I'll look fucking gorgeous here in a second, sugar. Just you wait."

He just laughed, continuing to brush out all the knots in my pink streaked hair. "Are you gonna go full pink again any time soon, yeah?" Deidara sounded honestly curious, his eye(s) looking up to meet mine in the mirror.

"Probably. I'm getting sick of black. It's to dark and depressing in all honesty. I really don't wanna do blonde again though cause that'd just be creepy."

He frowned, "How is blonde 'creepy', un?"

Rolling my eyes, I smirked flirtatiously, "It's creepy on me in the sense I don't wanna look just like the person I wanna jump the bones of. Blonde is not creepy on you, Dei. I pinky swear."

"The person you wanna jump the bones of, un?" He quoted, leaning forward slightly to look at me instead of the mirror.

I pushed him back, blushing much to my chagrin. "Shut your mouths and keep brush my hair, blondie. At least finish one thing before trying to start something else."

He hmphed, but resumed brushing my hair as requested. We chatted for about fifteen more minutes, Deidara taking his time to brush it, put it into it proper place and then rebrush it.

Personally I thought it was sweet of him, the small smile permanently glued to my lips.

After everything was said and done though, my hair was only completely prefect for about two seconds after he finished, after which case he smirked and flung me over his shoulder. He just fixed my hair! "Deidara! What the fu-!"

"Shhh! Calm down, I'm not gonna mug you or anything, yeah." He laughed, carrying me fireman style to his side of the room and promptly throwing me onto the bed.

I growled, scowled at him, "Are you the only one allowed to have pretty hair around here or something because seriously, I just! Ugh. Deidara!"

He grinned back, crashing down onto the bed next to me and wrapping his arms around me waist. "You look nicer with your hair like this anyway. I don't see the problem, hmm."

"Are you high?" I deadpanned, flicking his bangs out of his eye to check his pupils. They didn't seem to be overly large... But then again we are in the fricken anime verse so I mean, how do you know?

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not on any kind of drug, Lie. I pinky promise, un."

"And now you're mocking me. Hilarious. This is a real good start to wherever you're going with this, sugarplum." My words dripped with sarcasm, but I was acutely aware that one of his hands was licking the outside of my arm. Which made me want me want him to move it someplace better. Bad Lie!

Deidara smirked, leaning forward to nudge my cheek gently with his nose. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever, un."

"You're a jerk." I growled, childishly baring my teeth at him.

"I know, un. I know. But that why you love me, right?" He smirked, kissing me. I responded eagerly, trying to show him my feelings through physical touch. I... I can't say I love you to him. Not now, and probably not ever.

Everyone I love ends up dead after all.

I slowly pulled away, pouting at him. "You're an asshole too, you know." I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest like a spoiled two year old.

His smirked widened as he leaned over to kiss my shoulder. "And you love that quality in your men apparently." He pulled me in for another short kiss, smiling devilishly and then kissing my exposed shoulder again.

I would be lying if I said I couldn't hear my heart race. "I hate you." I sighed, rolling my eyes.

Deidara bit down on my shoulder, making me squeak and jerk away from him. He erupted into peals of laughter, falling off the bed in the process and repeatedly hitting the floor like that was gonna help him get control of the situation.

I remained coolly watching him for about twenty seconds, but after he fell off his own bed I couldn't help but start laughing. "Oh my god, Deidara." I gasped, burying my face in one of his pillows as I laughed.

"Y-your expression, I'm sorry, I just can't- ahahaha!" He broke off, hiding his now flushed face as he roared with laughter. I peeked at him from my pillow, trying to get control of my own laughter.

One hand was still pounding the floor and causing micro fissures in the rock while the other pushed back his long bangs as he laughed. His cheeks were bright red and his smile was contagious.

I held my hand out for him as I stood up, smiling brightly. "Come on, you dumbass. Get yourself together. You're a shinobe for gods sake."

He took a deep breathe, taking my hand and scowling half-heartedly while getting to to his feet. "Shut up. At least I don't flip out my boyfriend fucking pinches me, un."

His boyfriend? Am I missing something? Did Sasori forget to tell me something? I'm going to have to kill someone if that's true. Cue the slightly deranged head twitch.

He went to grab his sketchbook while I walked toward the door, trying to get a meager head start before replying, "Honey, I don't wanna know about you and your Danna do in the dark." Really, I don't. It makes me feel awkward, you know?

It took him about two seconds to comprehend what I just said and get over his shock before he was off and trying to bomb me.

The base was filled with mini, non lethal explosions for quite a few hours after that, all while I cackled with maniacal laughter and yelled insults at my boyfriend.

It felt nice to say that. My boyfriend, if only for a week while my little genin children were trying there hardest not to get killed.

We finally decided to call a truce and make dinner together, which mostly composed of Deidara sketching out new ideas and me yelling at him to cut the damn potatoes. Kids these days, I tell ya.

We ended up back in his room after dinner, while I entertained myself messing around with Sasori's misfit puppets from across the room and Deidara started making his little sketched into actual clay models.

Occasionally I would lean over to look at how he managed to get so much detail into a ball of clay with just his hands but he'd complain and shove me back onto my side of the bed.

Finally, I decided enough was enough and that it was time for bed. I stretched out, glancing up at Deidara's face curiously. His expression was pinched in concentration, a cute little pout forming on his lips that I was betting even he didn't know about.

I smiled, stretching up to give him a kiss on the cheek before settling back down and wrapping one arm around his waist.

I didn't want him leaving me. Not ever.

"Deidara, what the hell are you doing?" I opened one of my eyes, half of my face still smushed against the pillow and tendrils of black and pink hair falling into my range of sight. One arm was still clinging onto where Deidara would've been, had he not moved at an unreasonably early time this morning.

Right now, he had pulled up Sasori's workshop bench and sat crisscross on it, directly in front of the bed. Deidara gently pushed me back down when I tried to get up, murmuring, "Nope. Go back to sleep, Lie. I'm not done yet so you can't move."

I groaned, but out my head back down and closed my eyes.

What seemed like only seconds later, a Hiruko clad Sasori was walking in, and complaining about how his art was messed with while he was gone.

I lazily raised my hand, drunkenly explaining, "I was testing out your new puppets, Danna. It's not like I have anything better to do."

Deidara looked up at me, narrowing his eyes. "I'd say I'm way better than those puppets if you're looking for something to do while Danna is gone." Pervert.

"As much as I love to hear about your exploits while I'm away, shouldn't you two be training right now? Leader-sama wanted you to use this as training time, brat." The puppet retorted, using chakra strings to yank the stool out from underneath Deidara.

The blonde apparently expected that, jumping off the side of the stool and onto the bed at the last minute.

I gave him a thumbs up, yawning as I tried to peak over the corner of his sketch pad. "What're you drawin?"

He shrugged, holding up a black oil pastel. "Nothing, un. I'll show it to you when I'm done. If you're gonna get coffee, can you grab me some cereal too, hmm?"

I stuck my tongue out at him, jumping to my feet. "What song am I thinking of right now?"

He gave me a bland look, leaning up to push the bangs out of my face, "Why do I care, un?"

"Because that decides the fate of your cereal."

He pursed his lips, studying my face for a second before stating confidently, "Dear Maria."

I grinned, walking out without another word. It really didn't matter that wasn't the song I had been thinking of. I just wanted to know that he actually payed attention to my mindless singing. And Dear Maria is a kickass song, so.

I made him his cereal, filling the bowl half way just like he likes it and then grabbing myself a cup of coffee. The Akatsuki had their coffee maker on a timer so I didn't really need to do anything aside from add a little milk.

The blonde bombshell had put his sketch pad away by the time I arrived, although he still hadn't gone through the effort of getting dressed, which I appreciated.

I liked looking at him, as much as my Uchiha pride loved to admit it. It wasn't just because he was attractive, it was also that he was all mine. My boyfriend.

I curled in his lap before handing him his cereal, laying my head on his shoulder tiredly.

He kissed my cheek before digging into his breakfast, making small talk/old married couple bickering with Sasori. Basically the same thing, you know.

After breakfast it was time to train again and Deidara and Sasori had to pack for their next mission. I helped Deidara pack, sneaking kissed in between energy bars and kunai.

It was bittersweet for me, knowing that this was probably going to be one of the last times I see him in quite a while, but also being able to see the reluctance to leave in his eyes and feel the way his hands lingered on me as we kissed goodbye.

"Are you guys planning the froth shinobe war in there for kami's sake? You know I hate waiting, brat."

I smiled, getting up on my tiptoes to kiss him one last time. A short, sweet, tender kiss that said everything we were afraid too. The L word in particular. "I'll miss you, even though you're a jerk."

He grinned, nuzzling the side of my neck again while his hand trailed up my hip, "I'll miss you, even though sometimes you're bitchy and question my sexuality."

I snickered, "Well, you've never given me anything to prove otherwise an-"

He covered my mouth with his own, cutting me off. I smiled, slowly pulling back before adding on, "I'm also a horrible person for constantly teasing you, but that's what you love about me, right?"

He laid his forehead on mine, stroking my cheek. "Of course, un. That's what makes you my Lie." I had to force down my urge to blush.

He reached into one of his pockets, pulling out a folded double sheet of paper and tucking it into my pocket. "Don't look at this till you're alone, okay? I don't want everyone thinking I've gone soft, hmm. I made two so I can always carry one with me and you can too." He ordered, kissing my cheek again before turning on his heel and darting out the door.

And like the love struck school girl I am, I reached up and touched my cheek, blushing a million shades of pink.

Not waisting another second, I pulled from paper from my pocket, carefully unfolding it.

There was me, laying haphazardly across Deidara's chest, one arm wrapped around his waist and the other thrown off the side of the bed. The blankets tangled around our legs, my tank-top bunched up around my belly. I was clearly asleep, while Deidara had his eyes closed with a soft smile on his face, his hand positioned as if he were stroking my cheek.

I smiled glancing at the other paper. My heart stopped.

Scrawled across the paper in his messy handwriting were words were so completely perfectly crooked and beautifully messed up I couldn't remember how to breath.

_I'm not gonna leave you alone, but just in case you forget just look at this picture. And I really don't care that you make fun of me and Sasori-Danna, because we both know I can prove it anytime you're willing. I love you, (un)._

* * *

**Answer, Mayday Parade or Mariana's Trench. They make me so happy and sad at the same time. **

**Question, favorite type of fanfiction? **


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